What is one thing you learned/one thing nobody warned you about?
@carson Dad of a 28 week little one here. I’d gently suggest trying to reframe some of the aspects of a NICU stay. For example, the noise (alarms, beeps, voices, monitors, etc) can be chaotic. The reframe is that your baby will probably learn to sleep well in a lot of different environments: loud, quiet, bright, and dark.
Another thing that has helped me is that I’ve discovered that my child’s own capacities for healing, growing, and resilience are deeply moving, powerful, awe-inspiring, and motivating. I remember that every organism, from the lowly bacteria to our tiny and mighty babies has the drive to live, grow, and heal.
Best to you and your family!
Another thing that has helped me is that I’ve discovered that my child’s own capacities for healing, growing, and resilience are deeply moving, powerful, awe-inspiring, and motivating. I remember that every organism, from the lowly bacteria to our tiny and mighty babies has the drive to live, grow, and heal.
Best to you and your family!
@carson I had severe complications after the birth of my 25 Weeker… I was in the CICU for over a week and once I was finally strong enough and well enough to go over to NICU to see my adorable lil 1lb 13oz baby I literally got bedside placed my hand inside his isolate and the very small baby next to us started coding… I was terrified! For that baby, for my baby boy!!! They asked me if I wanted to leave as an entire team rushed into save this other baby… I couldn’t leave this was literally the first time I was meeting my son, feeling his skin!! I couldn’t leave! Well the baby next to him survived, they became best NiCU friends and we still talk to this day! But I had prepared for so many things! That experience it being one of them!! #TinyButMighty #NICUWarriors #Warriorbesties
@userdelta Omg 25 weeker. What a strong person you are!
lolasrobot
New member
@carson Going on 1.5months in the nicu.
I suggest :
1) ask questions even if you think they're dumb.
2) take advantage of the speech specialist, lactation specialist, and occupational therapist services. Take note as there's so much to learn & apply when you go home
3) celebrate small milestones. Accept that there will be frustrations. Remeber that babies need time to grow & you can't rush them or the process. Just enjoy your time with your baby.
4) rest during this time. You're paying big bucks for experts to take care of your baby.
5) do skin to skin. Have fun with your baby. They can feel you're anxiety & frustrations.
I suggest :
1) ask questions even if you think they're dumb.
2) take advantage of the speech specialist, lactation specialist, and occupational therapist services. Take note as there's so much to learn & apply when you go home
3) celebrate small milestones. Accept that there will be frustrations. Remeber that babies need time to grow & you can't rush them or the process. Just enjoy your time with your baby.
4) rest during this time. You're paying big bucks for experts to take care of your baby.
5) do skin to skin. Have fun with your baby. They can feel you're anxiety & frustrations.
@lolasrobot Aww I love when you said have fun with your baby. I don’t want her to feel my stress and anxiety, I want to be happy and healthy for her.
gospelgloryministries
New member
@carson As others have stated, don’t feel guilty about leaving the hospital. You can always call and get an update from the nurse monitoring your child, any time day or night. The NICU will be the best place for your child. Also, you will have just gone through something physically if not mentally traumatic. You are also healing.
@gospelgloryministries Thank you so much for saying this. The more I hear it, the better I will feel and maybe it’ll help me feel less guilty about leaving. But to be able to heal in my own home, my own bed seems like what I will need after being in the hospital for all this time. They did tell me we will have a link to watch her 24/7. So that should help us keep and eye on her and still feel involved too.
gospelgloryministries
New member
@gospelgloryministries Right?? I was so surprised when she told me that when I went over to visit. I think that’s pretty awesome, and helps with our anxiety of leaving her when we do need to go home. Especially since my husband is going to work until she comes home, he can keep an eye on her at work.
chretien22
New member
@chretien22 Oh my goodness, I am so sorry you had to experience that. I couldn’t imagine not being able to hold my baby once she’s here. I did ask today to tour the NICU and I was able to ask questions. But in unexpected situations, it would be so scary dealing with that unknown. At least with knowing I’m having a 34 weeker I won’t be shocked when she’s admitted. I hope you and your baby are doing well.
ransomovitch
New member
@carson Hello, mum of a 27 weeker here. After a 60 day NICU stay, My advice is to
*pre cook meals, or ask family/friends to make some meals for you! Cooking is the last thing you want to do after a long day in hospital.
*don't be afraid to speak to other parents in the NICU, we made some great friends while there, some of which we still see now we have been discharged!
*Advocate for your baby! Don't always take what the doctors or nurses say to be the only answer.
*if breastfeeding, speak to a lactation consultant if possible if you need help, some of the info given by nurses was more hurtful than helpful
*try and do something little for yourselves, even sitting outside having a nice coffee or take away meal can do wonders for mental health
*this won't be forever! You will be able to take your precious baby home one day, and it will be one of the best days of your life.
- take it one day at a time and celebrate the small wins. Being 34 weeks, your baby has a fantastic chance of survival and you hopefully won't be in the NICU for too long.
*It's also ok to cry!! Let the emotions out. - Do all the kangaroo cuddles/skin on skin you can! It's really beneficial for both bub and you!
*pre cook meals, or ask family/friends to make some meals for you! Cooking is the last thing you want to do after a long day in hospital.
*don't be afraid to speak to other parents in the NICU, we made some great friends while there, some of which we still see now we have been discharged!
*Advocate for your baby! Don't always take what the doctors or nurses say to be the only answer.
*if breastfeeding, speak to a lactation consultant if possible if you need help, some of the info given by nurses was more hurtful than helpful
*try and do something little for yourselves, even sitting outside having a nice coffee or take away meal can do wonders for mental health
*this won't be forever! You will be able to take your precious baby home one day, and it will be one of the best days of your life.
@ransomovitch 27 weeker, you are so strong 
I think that this experience gives people a sense of strength they didn’t know they had. Which is why I definitely hope to get to talk to others in the NICU.
I am happy we have made it to 33 weeks now and hopefully can get to 34. She’s right on track to be 4-5 lbs and I hope she does well so she isn’t there so long. But we’ve set our expectations for a while just so we don’t get our hopes up for something sooner.
I really love your advice. I think we will need to do those little things to take care of ourselves. But I definitely want as much skin to skin we can get, I hope she doesn’t have to go to NICU right away.
Yes, I am so excited for the day she comes home. She wasn’t due until 12/26, so we originally anticipated a Christmas baby, but now I look at that time a little differently. I look forward to it so much more in hopes that she will be home then and we will have the holidays together as a little family.
I hope your baby is doing well
I think that this experience gives people a sense of strength they didn’t know they had. Which is why I definitely hope to get to talk to others in the NICU. I am happy we have made it to 33 weeks now and hopefully can get to 34. She’s right on track to be 4-5 lbs and I hope she does well so she isn’t there so long. But we’ve set our expectations for a while just so we don’t get our hopes up for something sooner.
I really love your advice. I think we will need to do those little things to take care of ourselves. But I definitely want as much skin to skin we can get, I hope she doesn’t have to go to NICU right away.
Yes, I am so excited for the day she comes home. She wasn’t due until 12/26, so we originally anticipated a Christmas baby, but now I look at that time a little differently. I look forward to it so much more in hopes that she will be home then and we will have the holidays together as a little family.
I hope your baby is doing well
ransomovitch
New member
@carson Thats a good weight! I'm hoping it all goes as smooth as possible for you all. You wait until she gets to her due date, it's such a good milestone!! And is very bitter sweet.
Our boy is going well! He is actually 5 months today! (2 months corrected) NICU babies are the strongest (and cheekiest) bubs around.
Our boy is going well! He is actually 5 months today! (2 months corrected) NICU babies are the strongest (and cheekiest) bubs around.
@ransomovitch That’s amazing! I’m so happy he’s doing well! I’m sure he’s growing right before your eyes, and seeing his progress and giving him all the love has made it all worth it!
And thank you so much. I really have found amazing support here and it’s keeping me going.
And thank you so much. I really have found amazing support here and it’s keeping me going.
katrina2017
New member
@katrina2017 I am feeling pretty good, thank you so much for asking. Getting excited(?) for next week, if excited about being induced is appropriate. But each day that goes by brings me one step closer to seeing our girl.