“GeT rEaDy!”

[richardnm]

My brother, who has a 2 year old boy, keeps sending me and my partner photos of his kid doing annoying things and saying, “get ready!” As if we’re about to join some miserable club.
But, like, maybe our daughter won’t pull all the toilet paper off the roll for fun or maybe I won’t hate my life if I decide to paint my kid’s bedroom on a Saturday night!
I know it’s not meant to be malicious but it’s kind of annoying. Anyone else’s family or friends with kids do this?

 

[hammertime]

@richardnm I feel you. It’s very annoying when parents talk about parenting like it’s some sort of curse. I hate the “just wait until….” Lines too. Really annoying.

 

[richardnm]

@hammertime Right? I guess to them it’s… humor? Maybe it’s funny once you actually have a kid.

 

[movingon]

@richardnm I think it's right along the same line of "humor" as the whole 'I hate my wife' joke

 

[spiritualawareness]

@movingon Yeah...I dunno, I have 3 going on 4 kids, and I've been doing this for 15 years...and yes it's hard, and I absolutely support parents having outlets.

But the "jUsT wAiT" narrative is just as annoying and distasteful to me as it must have been the first time I heard it, when I myself was about to be a parent. Even now, even after the empathy that parenting has afforded me, I find it kind of disgusting. Being a parent is not a curse in my view, and anyone who acts like it is...I feel sorry for them and sorrier for their kids.

 

[parnellj83]

@richardnm Nah it's mean and negative to the kid. Someone here on the sub suggested a response "oh, sorry it's so hard for you" or even "oh, sorry that you're not enjoying being a parent"

 

[scoutwes]

@parnellj83 I dunno, it doesn't sound like he's being negative to me

 

[scoutwes]

@richardnm I don't have a kid and I think it's cute. I don't know your brother, maybe he is complaining, but to me it sounds like he's just trying to bond over funny kid stuff? Pulling all the toilet paper off the roll is funny! How can you not laugh at that?

 

[brh1989]

@richardnm My brother would absolutely do this to be funny.

 

[hammertime]

@richardnm I don’t know…I also find people to sometimes just like to complain. Parenting is hard but you literally chose to be a parent and some tried for a long time, why then spend so much time complaining about it? Maybe I just have a different perspective

 

[dachinedur]

@hammertime Yes, but also...this sub is full of a lot of people who chose to get pregnant and use it as a safe space to complain/vent about how sucky it is to be pregnant. I don't see these comments as any different than that. If you look at it generously.

 

[jfp]

@richardnm It's what we call "boomer humor"

Ya know the kind of jokes people say at bbqs and family gatherings where ya just kind of chuckle along and go, 'oh boy, can't wait' as if you're being sarcastic.

 

[katrina2017]

@hammertime Yeah, I hated a coworker who made comments like this all the time knowing I had a previous loss. I wanted to be like stfu

 

[richardnm]

@katrina2017 Oh wow I’m sorry. What an asshat

 

[paulrosaly]

@hammertime Just wait until:

You never sleep again

You never have peace and quiet ever again

Time to yourself

Time with your partner

You never have money again

Or get to do anything for yourself at all

I could go on. It’s starting to really annoy me hearing it and it made me sob uncontrollably while talking to my boyfriend about it twice.

 

[katrina2017]

@hammertime CO SIGN.

 

[pcbeliever]

@richardnm Nah, I looked forward to all that stuff, and I'm looking forward to all of it again! The trick is to not take things too seriously. I'm even like that with my animals. My son never took all the toilet paper off the roll, but my cats did. I walked in and they were having a blast! Yeah, it sucked to throw away a roll of toilet paper, but they were kittens and it was ADORABLE!!! After that I just kept the bathroom doors closed until they were past that stage.

 

[denise_]

@pcbeliever This is how I look at it too. I remember in psych class in college the teacher asked me how I’d react if I found my child had eaten/made a huge mess with a gallon of ice cream. (Can’t remember how this was relevant to the lesson…) And I said I would laugh, take a picture, and clean it up. That’s life. If you let stuff like that get to you you’re just going to be a miserable person all the time and I choose not to live that way.

 

[bluesky741]

@pcbeliever Yessss! I haven't had my first child yet so obviously things could go differently, but I fully intend to go into parenthood understanding that kids do weird, stupid, and destructive stuff but that it's part of their development and how they learn about the world. As long as my kids are safe and healthy, they can make a mess as far as I'm concerned. I think a lot about Neil Degrasse Tyson's encouragements on this front. Here's one example:

 

[21ramadhan]

@richardnm My cousins were like that — “you think you’re tired NOW JUST WAIT TIL YOU HAVE A BABY.” Okay I get it. It got to the point that at my shower for my first I said “sooo if you could do it all again you wouldn’t have kids?”. That really shuts people up.