Y’all, Apparently I’m drinking tea wrong…

[cindy4him]

@twimom My local pizza places gets all of its ingredients fresh! Right off the tree. Pickles, cheese, even whole pizza slices grow on the same tree.

 

[jothman]

@richking58 This sounds like the eatery I occasionally dine at. I can see the chef in the kitchen from where I eat and she is always just throwing food on the floor and reusing it. Sometimes I see stuffed animals in the sink. 10/10 would not recommend.

 

[atwitsend]

@richking58 You'll have to come to my cafe. The barista keeps bringing me drinks even if I don't need more. She'll sometimes get me a plate of food. I mean, it's usually something like fish, an orange, and an onion, but it is what it is.

 

[wilma]

@atwitsend Lucky! My cafe regularly features pom poms and squishy dinosaurs in the daily special, along with the onion.

 

[richking58]

@atwitsend Yes!! Omg it’s like a bottomless tea pot!! And they yell at you if you stop drinking the tea!

 

[amielynn1992]

@atwitsend We must go to the same cafe. Except, I usually get a piece of bread, a lemon half, and a whole lettuce. Served in a colander.

 

[aradhit]

@atwitsend Does your barista also refer to every plate of random food as "salad" or is that just a Midwest thing?

 

[katrina2017]

@aradhit My Midwest toddler indeed serves everything as a "salad" lol

 

[atwitsend]

@aradhit It's all just lunch at my cafe. Doesn't matter the time of the day.

 

[katrina2017]

@atwitsend Oh man! We get served an onion too. But if we don’t drink, the barista orders a truck to crash into the shop. It’s amazing how often our coffee shop gets totaled by a truck and then it’s rebuilt the next day!

 

[stanilovesgod]

@richking58 So I think I’ve visited a similar cafe (assuming it’s a franchise). I can see why you thought you were doing the right thing, but I will pass on some tips that’ve helped me.

First, after both cups are poured, make sure you give your cup back, and you take the owners cup. This establishes that you believe both cups are free of poison.

Now, though you might think slurping is right, (since tea is a liquid) you are wrong here. You must make the same consumption sounds you do for ALL food items, so more of a “mm mm mm” nibble sound.

If at this point you haven’t been kicked out yet, it is now customary to offer tea to the owners best friend, her Jellycat. You must also make the consumption noise on behalf of the animal, but this can be a slurp.

At this point in the tea ceremony, the young landlord (sibling) will come in and raise the rent, demand you get rid of the teapot, and generally change the entire game. For better or worse depends on the age of the landlord.

 

[eclipse122778855]

@stanilovesgod Oh, see in my establishment we’re missing the step where I’m allowed to take a drink before offering it to the favorite friend. How did you achieve this extra step??? All of our tea goes straight to favorite animals (pro tip: don’t try to guess which animal is the favorite today, as you will always be wrong).

 

[richking58]

@eclipse122778855 Ah yes. If the animals are requested at the table in this location, the owner of the establishment drinks for them. I’m not sure how the transfer of tea occurs from one GI system to the animals’, but it does.

 

[jenny12]

@richking58 My local cafe prefers to offer me hot wheels in my actual tea. Sometimes it does not matter if I decline. After all, the shopkeep knows best.

 

[ice_bear]

@richking58 I read the whole story frowning more and more as I went, vaguely thinking 'What on earth is Elsa Tea' and 'Is this in Egypt or the UK or where are they soooo odd about tea? Which subreddit is this even from??' ... r/toddlers, that explains!

 

[richking58]

@ice_bear We only drink Elsa tea poured from the Elsa tea pot. However the guest is frequently served the tea in Ana’s cup. The owner always drinks it from Elsa’s.

 

[enigma42310]

@ice_bear I basically we t through the exact same cycle

 

[learningyourways]

@richking58 I dared to sip the tea that was served to me only to be shouted at NO! I guess tea shop owners are under some hard times.

 

[chrisallen87]

@richking58 I think a lot of small business owners are still reeling from the pandemic, including many cafes and tea/coffee shops. That stress takes a toll.

Though I always ask for my coffee politely, our local cafe owner typically throws the cup at my head after vigorously banging it on the counter, followed by whatever food is in the immediate vicinity (often a fish, baguette or banana). I mean, I’m appreciative of the free food, but I do think the service levels could be improved. My feedback is typically met with a laugh and a head butt. Unfortunately it’s the cafe closest to my house, so I guess I’ll just stick it out until the owner gets through whatever phase he’s going through. You’re not alone!

 

[fallenleaf]

@richking58 Ugh, I went to a grill today and was served cold “coffee” (tasted a lot like water in my opinion) that was abruptly commandeered and devoured by my waiter. I also only had a knife with which to eat. What’s with this generations hospitality???