Will I regret only having 1 child?

@fallingapart It's a question only you can answer.

We decided to have a second when we watched my MIL (an only child) bury her mom. EVERYTHING was on her. She had no one to share the load with. And when her mom was gone, she was alone.

But not everyone has a limited social circle like she did. It's such a personal decision.
 
@kaygie So true! I guess I just like to be well informed and plan for what may come I know ultimately it’s my choice but I hate suprises and there’s so much that’s coming from this post that I didn’t even really think about. I’m so glad I asked because I think I now have a better understanding of my choices. Thanks for sharing your story and so sorry for your moms loss and yours as well.
 
@fallingapart I'm an only child and have never felt like I missed out on anything by not having a sibling. I'm friends with several other adult only children and they feel the same way. Just give your child plenty of opportunities to socialize and be willing to host play dates and I'm sure they will be fine.
 
@fallingapart My second child is very difficult (autism spectrum high functioning) and makes my daughters life very difficult. She sadly wishes she was an only child. She plans to go no contact with him when she leaves home. Kids don’t always get along. If things are good, and everyone’s happy I wouldn’t change it unless you strongly and completely want a second child.
 
@sondao Oof 😓 that such a difficult situation. I’m going to consider this. I wish it wasn’t so hard for children on the spectrum and their siblings. Thanks so much for your advice :)
 
@fallingapart As an only child, when little I did miss having siblings. But once I grow up that need went away and got perfectly fine with it, although always wanted to have 2 children, didn’t want to have only one. Certainly having siblings doesn’t mean they will have a close relationship, sometimes we find siblings in friends or other family, that happened to me, and our daughters call themselves cousins. Nowadays I have 2, girl and boy, 8 years apart( 10 and 2 yo) don’t interact much. Lets see when they grow up. But if you feel it’s ok only one, don’t have more just because, they’ll be fine bring only child
 
@fallingapart Yeah, my mom was my best friend, she was always there for me. Always available to talk or to go out and do something fun to get my mind off of other stuff. She always pushed me to do what I loved, even if it went against the grain. She constantly reminded me to laugh and have fun and to do things that scared me. For example, my friends wanted me to go to a music festival with them and I was afraid and nervous to go and she helped push me towards it and I had an amazing time and grew as a person during the experience.

Both my parents were always available for me. I tried every single sport there was; I was on both the school and club soccer and ski teams. Which meant every weekend we were traveling to different counties for games and races, all three of us!

We got to travel all over the world. I went to ski camps in the Alpes during the summer and we got to travel to the Bahamas and Mexico. Always my mom would find friends my age for me to play with at the resorts or for closer trips I'd sometimes get to bring a friend along.

All of that would've been harder to impossible for us to do both financially and logistically if I had a sibling. I got to watch my mom go back to school and get a degree and start her own business while I was in middle school, which taught me so much and was such an incredible lesson to learn and to see.

I hope to be able to give my daughter a similar life full of all the opportunities, joy, freedom and growth. And I hope that our relationship is just as close as the one I had with my mom.

Hope this helps. :)
 
@fallingapart They really did! My mom is no longer with us but I cherish the life she gave me every day. 💛

I’m so happy to be able to help! It’s a hard decision and I’m glad to be able to give a perspective from the other side.
 
@fallingapart My coworker is an only child and she LOVED it. She said she loved being the center of their world and still is. I’m pregnant with my second because our first has always been so so outgoing and I felt in my bones she needed a sibling. Otherwise we were content with just one.
 
@fallingapart Ok so, I've seen so many comments about how siblings don't always get along or become close etc etc and this is totally true and but also there's so much opportunity for them to have great relationships too.

My mom and her 4 siblings don't speak to each other because of things that happened when my grandparents died. And while the fault is on her siblings for that situation, my mom is probably the most toxic one of them all. And while they can be pretty toxic too, I actually blame my grandmother who was an alcoholic for probably all of their lives, a pretty heinous woman, a shitty spouse and an emotionally abusive mother. So, great example of how badly things can turn out, but this could have been totally different had their mom been different, right?

With that said, I am the oldest of 4 kids, by 12 years. My mom had me a week after she turned 21, raised me by herself until she met my stepdad, they got married when I was ten and had my first sister when I was almost 13, second when I was 15 and my brother when I was 17. I always wanted siblings, I was always jealous of my friends who had siblings, but I wanted them when I was a child, not a teenager. I do not resent my mother for essentially creating another family, but I felt very disconnected for a long time because of the age difference and also, like I said before, my mom is a really toxic person. BUT, I never let that stop me from trying to have good relationships with my siblings. Now, of course, they have far different relationships with each other than with me because they actually grew up together and have many more shared experiences. But we all get along great and have actually bonded over our toxic mother and the situation we watched her go through with her siblings.

I had my first son when I was 22, I actually didn't want children and then I had him and I knew I wanted more. I wanted a family, I wanted him to have what my siblings got to have with each other. Unfortunately, his father and I divorced when he was 5 and I didn't get that opportunity to give him that family until.....last year LMAO. So, my oldest was 16 and I gave birth to his first brother. And they love each other SO much. The older one is now 17 and the baby is 10 months and we are a very close family. And because of his age being closer to my siblings, hes very close with my siblings as well, because he spent most of his childhood around them. And now we are going to try for another one because I don't feel like our family is quite complete. I could be wrong, it's in God's hands lol, but I want the baby to have someone to grow up with, like the oldest one should have had, but I want my oldest one to have the family he should have had all along.

My oldest would have been just fine without any siblings, in fact he didn't want any at all. But he is happy he has one now.

Lol don't know if that helps, but at the end of the day, anything can come of it. I'd be totally ok if we didn't have another one, but for us, it's worth trying for. Either way, both of my kids are loved and love each other. And that's all that matters to me.
 
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