What's going on with this 7 year old boy!?

[enrique_serrano_m]

I work as a wellness teacher at a boarding school. Back in 2020, a 5 year old boy was sent to boarding in the month of March. His family history is vague but I heard that the mother was going through a divorce.
So, the boy stayed here for 2-3 weeks and then national lockdown was declared, so he was sent back home.

During those 3 weeks, these few things were concerning.

1. He used foul language while talking to other kids (be it seniors or juniors). Didn't give respect.
2. He used to pick fights and spit on children. Seemed aggressive. Didn't know how to play.
3. Used to steal stuff like colours, bornvita, pencils from other students' almirahs.
4. Used to lie a little bit.
5. He wasn't potty trained.
6. He used to hard blink his eyes at irregular intervals. (What's this about?)
7. Had an awkward gate. Had a funny walk. Legs pointed outwards and he rocked side to side while walking.

After lockdown, he was sent to the boarding again in 2021 end /2022 begining.

And his symptoms seem to have aggravated now.

He still steals and lies about stealing. Hits other children. Doesn't respect their boundaries. Doesn't follow rules. Always wants his hands occupied with something (either he is tearing paper, or crushing his crayons, or cutting his eraser, or cutting a pair of pants with scissors). Lies about his mistakes. Blames others for his mistakes. Is stubborn. Recently he pulled a Kindergarten girl's pants down while she was in the washroom. He has flashed his private parts to a boy in his dorm. Used to be hit by the warden quite often in the past for his misbehaviour. But recently the beatings have stopped. He still hard blinks his eyes sometimes (Maybe when he feels confused or nervous. But could it be neurological?) He still has an awkward gate. Although he has been given medication for his legs for some mineral deficiency. His legs still point outwards and he rocks side to side while walking.
He still uses foul language for other kids. Still is disrespectful. Doesn't know how to play with his peers. Still messes his pants sometimes. The stealing hasn't stopped either. He says he steals from people who aren't his friends. So, he is lowkey bullying them because they don't want to talk to him. He may have internalised the label of a "bad" boy too.
But his boy is very deceptive. He lies beautifully. Almosy baffles me!

What all is going on with him? Are there any screening tests, tools that can be used to decipher at least something so that I can write a report for the child, so that he can be sent for a formal assessment?

 

[arniej]

@enrique_serrano_m Sounds to me that at least one of the issues is he did not get proper love and attention at home. The fact he was shipped to boarding school at only 5 tells me that his parents or guardians have very little clue as to what they are doing. All the behaviors you described are trademark behaviors of an unsocialized 2-year-old. I wouldn't be surprised if his social-emotional-psychological development is stuck around that age due to aforementioned lack of love and attention from his parents. At the very least, the boy needs a consistent relationship in his life that will give him love and attention. He may also benefit from getting professional treatment by someone who is versed in the Neurosequential Model of Therapeutics (read the book "The Boy Who Was Raised As A Dog" for more on the NMT).

 

[girlintheclouds]

@enrique_serrano_m I cannot diagnose so please don’t take this as a diagnosis.

Look into trauma informed care, strategies for pathological demand avoidance, and strategies attachment issues.

This kid is TRAUMATIZED and is reoffending on others. Could be home life. Could be the function of poorly wired sensory systems that he doesn’t trust his environment. But he trusts NO ONE but himself at this point. He is the expert and cannot be convinced otherwise. It will take a ton of time and trust and lots of set backs to reset his neurology to accept any caregiver as a trustworthy ally.

 

[bishopoflyons]

@enrique_serrano_m Sending a 5 year old to boarding school strikes me as utterly bizarre and traumatizing for the child…. He was clearly traumatized to begin with and shipping him away has only added to his suffering.

 

[enrique_serrano_m]

@bishopoflyons I agree. Even the mother doesn't seem to want him back at home. Who knows what's cooking in the background. But the question remains, are there any screening tools that might elicit some information out of this child? I need to write something specific, something definitive.

 

[bishopoflyons]

@enrique_serrano_m I mean I would say he needs to be evaluated by a psychiatrist would would do an entire panel of evaluations to determine root cause and diagnosis. This is way beyond a laypersons pay grade.

 

[zimrath]

@enrique_serrano_m Sad, when I blinked like that it was out of stress.