What was the moment you knew you were OAD?

[vitality]

Me and my husband agreed to our OAD life when we were 6 months postpartum because I didn’t think I’d survive another PPD. But I had it solidified when my best friend had her baby 2 months ago. I held him and just went… “nope. I’m done. No more of this for me k thnx”

 

[briteyyez]

@vitality When I fully understood how much my life had changed, I knew I didn’t want more than one serving of that

 

[peterh99]

@vitality Visiting friends with a lovely and well behaved 3 and 1 year old. Even absolutely lovely kids bicker with their siblings and fight for attention and just... It's exhausting. I used to thoroughly enjoy visiting them when they had one, and while I still enjoy seeing them I am much more grateful to leave now.

 

[wells14]

@peterh99 Yeah, I get this. I just really hate the dynamic that unfolds with most siblings, the competing for attention. It's painful to watch

 

[nurrse7075]

@peterh99 Agreed. I love my friends 2 kids but the eldest son get told off for the smallest wrong step (like as small as a look) while the youngest doesn't even get told off for literally smacking his brother over the head with a toy. The constant wrestling, fighting, screaming, uneven parenting etc... it's exhausting. I am happy with the single little potato baby being a chill kid.

 

[johnbiggs]

@peterh99 Omg yes, I visited a friend in another state for a few days and they have 2 children, age 5 and 9. The chaos, mess, and screaming was intolerable. Each child on their own was great but together it was way too much for me!

 

[peterh99]

@johnbiggs I feel like it must be a lot for the kids too! They never get a break from their sibling. It's bad enough not getting a break from your own kid, let alone if you're a kid yourself! I have a sister and I love her to bits but I mostly remember fighting when we were kids.

 

[hazeleyes25]

@vitality the moment i found out i was pregnant. i originally never wanted to have children & after i got pregnant i knew i would be oad

 

[tornado16]

@hazeleyes25 I was very much a fence sitter who always thought I'd have strong feelings one way or the other and then I hit 40 and got surprise pregnant. The only way I would have two is if it had been twins. And I'm glad it wasn't twins. I mean, there is a part of me that is a little sad I don't get to experience being the mom to a girl and a boy, but if it was twins and both of them were as terrible at sleeping as our one is, I'm not sure I would still be sane 2 years later.

 

[mjes]

@vitality Before i was pregnant. As someone one who wasn’t sure she wanted children, one was the one way i could go. I’m so happy with my choice. Now that’s she 2, i couldn’t imagine not having her. My life and family feels complete

 

[samalematina]

@mjes I was the same. I didn’t know if I even wanted kids.

 

[bigkevsky]

@mjes Also same to a T

 

[katrina2017]

@vitality There were several moments. The moment I was told I only had one viable embryo from my IVF cycle that cost us 20k+. The moment I had a placental abruption. The moment my baby was taken from me and driven to a NICU an hour away and I knew I never wanted to feel that heartbreak again. The moment I realized even if everything else went great and I got pregnant without IVF, that we can’t really afford another kid financially or logistically. It’s never been just one moment but a series of moments showing me that having another probably isn’t a good idea and maybe not even possible at all.

 

[skittblue]

@katrina2017 Yes !! This!!! It’s a series of moments that just go, you know what no, this is just all too painful, too hurtful.

I hear you, I see you.

We had NICU, operations, babies heart condition, I had PPD and psychosis. My marriage is fucked, there is still anger and torment that lingers from the experiences. It was all just way too sad to go through.

 

[susanm]

@vitality During pregnancy. At some point between crying on the bathroom floor mid vomit and walking to work and having to vomit while not breaking stride because I didn't want to be kayei. And then feeling baby movement in my belly and absolutely hating it and never ever wanting to feel that again.

 

[lonextorm]

@vitality When my ex and I split up and we began sharing custody. Once I got over the initial shock and upset of not having my son everyday, I realized how much I regained my pre-kid self back and decided to not do it again.

Also, every time I’m in a crowded place and have to keep close eyes on my son. I immediately always think “omg imagine if I had another one to look out for!” No thanks.

Also, every time my son is sick or can’t sleep and I get a taste of that sleep deprecation again. Hell fucking no.

Also every time I see someone’s house filled with baby toys, bottles, bassinets and playpens all over and just think…not doing that again.

 

[samkruger]

@vitality I was pretty sure we were OAD during my pregnancy. I’ve had a couple moments of, “What if?” here and there and a lot of moments of knowing with certainty that my son is our first and only, but I’ll share the most recent of these.

Last week a friend from high school announced they were having their second (We had our babies within days of each other). When I read her Facebook post my instinctive reaction was, “Oh my god, why?” I do feel happy for them, and I acknowledge that families come in all shapes and sizes, but I kind of laughed to myself in the moment because my reaction was another reminder that my family is complete.

 

[abdurrashid]

@samkruger Yup. I went to the Little gym with my 18 month old and saw a women with her toddler there and very pregnant. I honestly thought, " oh God that's awful." Do you not want anytime or sanity to yourself? Lol
I also see pregnant moms who completely disappear at the little gym once they have the baby. The toddlers get completely screwed and don't get to do activities they did because mom is home tired and consumed with a new baby.

 

[samalematina]

@samkruger I know what you mean. When I hear about someone I know having a second I first feel relief like thank goodness that’s not me.

 

[topshot]

@vitality New Year’s Eve ‘21. We were able to leave our daughter home with my MIL after we put her to bed and go to our local watering hole to ring in the new year with each other.
I didn’t want to have the sleepless nights, the inability to go out, the mental strain of caring for a newborn and a kindergartener with a husband who is a truck driver. I was thinking, “This is amazing and it’ll only get better and more freeing the older she gets and we’ll be able to take her with us some of the time too.”