@hotinco You only have a 20% chance of conceiving each cycle. My doctor told me it takes most couples at least 6 months. Usually after a year of trying, they will have you come in to talk about fertility treatments. I asked all these questions because I thought I would have immense trouble getting pregnant with endometriosis. It ended up happening on the first try.
What milestones were hardest for you on your TTC journey?
- Thread starter hotinco
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yahwahistheway
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@yahwahistheway Thank you 
@hotinco I’m at 8 months too. I think that TTC just steals so much joy from my life and that’s what hurts the most. It’s also so sad when I plan how I would tell my husband each month and then af arrives. It may sound strange but what’s the WORST for me is when I feel like pms coming and my body doesn’t feel any different. It’s basically knowing I’m not pregnant for a week before AF comes and that’s hell.
adedayospeaks
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openeddoors
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riverrocksecrets
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@hotinco The hardest part for us was the waiting beforehand.
We’d tried briefly before, until my husband developed a health issue (which he still has, except now it’s managed with treatment). He was hospitalised, received blood transfusions and a boatload of medication, then had a long recovery ahead.
We didn’t have sex for about a year. He wasn’t well enough. Getting going again was pretty difficult for him at first and the longer it got, the more of a hurdle it seemed.
Wanting to TTC but him not being able to for so long was crushing, for both of us, but we made it and we’re trying.
We’d tried briefly before, until my husband developed a health issue (which he still has, except now it’s managed with treatment). He was hospitalised, received blood transfusions and a boatload of medication, then had a long recovery ahead.
We didn’t have sex for about a year. He wasn’t well enough. Getting going again was pretty difficult for him at first and the longer it got, the more of a hurdle it seemed.
Wanting to TTC but him not being able to for so long was crushing, for both of us, but we made it and we’re trying.
mltaylor613
New member
@hotinco My heart breaks for you and for these other women. What’s been hard for me is having a chemical pregnancy and being told it was a “good sign” because it meant it was possible for me to get pregnant, to then not getting pregnant again and again. Another difficult thing is knowing if I had a child right away it would be in Kindergarten right now.
adedayospeaks
New member
@mltaylor613 Same. Was so hopeful after my CP and then nothing.. crushing
@hotinco The year mark was also Christmas for us, and hanging out with my partner's friends at a party where the hosts had a newborn and we were literally the only couple without kids... That was rough.
Over that first year I found the months where we'd tried something new and failed especially tough. Getting negatives after I started tracking, after we tried fertility-friendly lube, a cup, supplements... Then realising we'd run out of new things to try and there wasn't any else I could do to make this happen until we can finally get to IVF.
Over that first year I found the months where we'd tried something new and failed especially tough. Getting negatives after I started tracking, after we tried fertility-friendly lube, a cup, supplements... Then realising we'd run out of new things to try and there wasn't any else I could do to make this happen until we can finally get to IVF.
@hotinco For me it was way harder to watch the other people in my life get pregnant with baby #1, 2, 3 and in some cases 4 while I couldn’t even get a single positive. It took us just over 8 years to conceive, 3 with a fertility specialist, and every Christmas, birthday, mothers/Father’s Day was very hard. Family gatherings, comments on “you’re not getting any younger” (I’m currently 27 so not sure why my age was being brought up at all), and even comments like “you wouldn’t understand, you’re not a parent” killed me.
fishyfisher
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thepinkpreacher
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cburesearch
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@hotinco I think 9 months, 12 months, 18 months (because this is when we took a leap of faith and stopped treatment), and then 2.5 years just now has been the roughest.
There have been some real blights of optimism and positive in between each difficult milestone though. 9 months and 2.5 years has been the hardest so far. The second year was actually easier emotionally than the first. It’s such a weird ride.
There have been some real blights of optimism and positive in between each difficult milestone though. 9 months and 2.5 years has been the hardest so far. The second year was actually easier emotionally than the first. It’s such a weird ride.
songofpraise
New member
@hotinco 
-Also the month 4 “oh, wait….this isn’t happening” moment
-Month 6 when the “deadline” passed for me to have my first baby before I turned 37
-Having close friends that started trying way after us, and turned to me for advice about the TTC journey, all announce they were pregnant in the first 1-3 months
-Also the month 4 “oh, wait….this isn’t happening” moment
-Month 6 when the “deadline” passed for me to have my first baby before I turned 37
-Having close friends that started trying way after us, and turned to me for advice about the TTC journey, all announce they were pregnant in the first 1-3 months
walnutbookshelf
New member
@hotinco I’m at the 5 month mark and I feel you with that 4 month mark. Since they say you can conceive within the first 3 months. It’s like your hopes are slowly giving up. But then another month comes and you don’t not want to try. But the little voice in the back of your head says “you know this probably won’t workout”