@chang So I read a great article about chores and since we are new parents to a child who came from a hoarding/disgusting house- she has zero idea on how often chores need to be done to keep up with a house.
I am by far not a great example of a house keeper and struggle daily but even I have specific chores I force myself to do every day.
One thing I did was to print out a daily chore chart. Each day is assigned two chores.
If she does t finish the chores the day before because of homework or school activities - she has to add it to her current day chores. (Time management is hard!)
So...
First- a single chore she has to do daily - this is a chore that affects everyone in the house - holds her responsible to the rest of us-
She loads/unloads the dishwasher every day.
Second - one chore a week is to teach her that her actions will keep something alive
-she waters the plants
Third -twice a week is a self pride chore- teaching her to feel good about “her spaces”
- one day clean bathroom
- one day clean bedroom including vacuuming
Fourth - pet responsibility
We gave her the option of mowing grass or picking up dog poop- she chose poop
Laundry is to be brought down on fridays and all chores done by 8:30
Basiclly it’s two chores a day and honestly if she stays on top of them they take less than 15-20mins
She only gets “paid” for the poop duty $10 week
The rest a considered being part of a functioning active household. We all do our part and the excuse of “no one told me to do it” because we remind her no one tells us to go to work every day or to feed her every day- we do it because we love and respect each other and want a decent place for us all to live in
Does it always work? No
Do I get long winded complaints and whining and arguing.. of course
Are there days things don’t get done? Most definitely... but we do our best to get caught back up
I don’t expect perfection, but I expect effort.
Are there days she shoves everything in her closet - sure... do I have to remind her that you have to take all the makeup off the counter in your bathroom to clean the sink? Yes...
Once a month I try to enforce a deep clean
Bedroom - go through clothes in closet - donate clothes no longer worn or interested in,
Put away all clothes stuffed in closet
Clean off top of dresser
Wash all bedding (I gave up on new sheets once a week... it was a battle I just didn’t care about- she wants old sheets- whatever)
(Siri edit- will fix chaos wording later)
Also if the ADHD and has straight A’s in has anxiety it sounds like your kid already has a lot on their plate.
Keep in mind that 15 is a really stressful age in general. I have found as someone with ADD and having a child with ADHD it’s really important to have a very clear and concise list, eSpecially if I’m not around to enforce what I want them to do.
Five chores sounds like an awful lot for a kid who maintains an “A” average and I am imagine with that kind of functionality they’re involved in other extracurriculars as well.