@thommu It really chaps my ass that the school sometimes shows them YouTube videos. They want to watch it again at home and I want to be an interested parent so I oblige - and 0.1s after it ends the algorithm is serving up a bunch of tangentially-related brain rot that I have to either indulge or argue about. I'm really careful to establish that we're watching this, AND ONLY THIS, beforehand now
We are doing no electronics during the school week for the month of May. It's changed the whole family dynamic. Maybe you should try it, too
@sf111 This would probably benefit me more than my kids. The ol lady and I seem to most nights just lay on the couch and watch tv / play on phones from 8-9:30 then go to sleep.
We allow TV in the morning provided breakfast is eaten and dresses himself. Occasionally I have to walk by and give a reminder to keep getting ready but it gets our son happily through his morning routine and allows me to get ready / start work.
We allow TV in the morning provided breakfast is eaten and dresses himself. Occasionally I have to walk by and give a reminder to keep getting ready but it gets our son happily through his morning routine and allows me to get ready / start work.
@piggybank I find my 9 y.o will, most days, just do his thing and get ready for school, but that is also new since he got his ADHD meds / since he turned 8.
The twins (who technically turn 5 tomorrow) aren't able to get through the routine yet. Checklists, stickers, songs, etc. They DGAF. We're working on it.
The wife and I do no screens after 10, but since I run my own company and take calls with clients in Australia / Sinagpore at 9.30pm, I don't stick to that rule on those days.
I'd also note that on days I have a 9.30 call, I can rarely get to sleep before 12. IF I don't have a late call, I am in bed by 10.
I also notice that blue light messes me up more now that I'm 42 than back when I was in my 30s, so maybe that's part of why I find it hard to sleep on late worknights.
The twins (who technically turn 5 tomorrow) aren't able to get through the routine yet. Checklists, stickers, songs, etc. They DGAF. We're working on it.
The wife and I do no screens after 10, but since I run my own company and take calls with clients in Australia / Sinagpore at 9.30pm, I don't stick to that rule on those days.
I'd also note that on days I have a 9.30 call, I can rarely get to sleep before 12. IF I don't have a late call, I am in bed by 10.
I also notice that blue light messes me up more now that I'm 42 than back when I was in my 30s, so maybe that's part of why I find it hard to sleep on late worknights.
courtneyatzn
New member
@sf111 I like this idea. Props to you brother. Would love to see periodic updates throughout the month and even after.
Even if it’s not a perfect solution, it seems like your kids are at least becoming mindful of the hold that screens have on them. Which is pretty huge IMO. A lot of adults don’t even understand this.
Even if it’s not a perfect solution, it seems like your kids are at least becoming mindful of the hold that screens have on them. Which is pretty huge IMO. A lot of adults don’t even understand this.
@courtneyatzn I can't manage perfect.
Best I can do is "a little better".
That I can talk with the 9 y.o. about this and honestly say, "Look kiddo, this has a bad effect on you and we need to find a way to make it work. Let's make this change for a month and see what happens" is as much about his maturity as anything else.
The twins, at 5, don't get as much say in these things. Sorry girls. They're already sick of hearing "when you're older" but, uh, when you're older.
Best I can do is "a little better".
That I can talk with the 9 y.o. about this and honestly say, "Look kiddo, this has a bad effect on you and we need to find a way to make it work. Let's make this change for a month and see what happens" is as much about his maturity as anything else.
The twins, at 5, don't get as much say in these things. Sorry girls. They're already sick of hearing "when you're older" but, uh, when you're older.
@sf111 Screens in general – I don't draw a distinction because he only watches streaming apps either on the TV or on a tablet. We don't let him watch YouTube at all. As far as I'm aware he doesn't know it exists, and we plan on keeping it that way as long as possible.
Edit: He also plays games on the iPad but I don't draw a distinction there either because screen time is screen time.
Edit: He also plays games on the iPad but I don't draw a distinction there either because screen time is screen time.
phillipincalifornia
New member
@sf111
With respect, these issues aren't issues around screen time, they're issues of routine and allowing your routine to get hijacked by a kid who knows how to drag things out to make life hard for you, and easy for him.
What it feels like you've done here is, rather than limiting screens as a benefit, you've limited screens as part of a wider restructure of your scheduling which is working better for your son. I'm not saying this to be contrarian because I also limit screens with my kids to a set schedule too. But I wanted to put my finger on that point because at base it's not really the screen time that needed to change, but the scheduling and routine. Kids love a routine, and while my kids don't have ADHD the benefit a ton from it, and I'd expect that on balance a kid with ADHD would benefit even more from a rigorous routine to help schedule things.
With respect, these issues aren't issues around screen time, they're issues of routine and allowing your routine to get hijacked by a kid who knows how to drag things out to make life hard for you, and easy for him.
What it feels like you've done here is, rather than limiting screens as a benefit, you've limited screens as part of a wider restructure of your scheduling which is working better for your son. I'm not saying this to be contrarian because I also limit screens with my kids to a set schedule too. But I wanted to put my finger on that point because at base it's not really the screen time that needed to change, but the scheduling and routine. Kids love a routine, and while my kids don't have ADHD the benefit a ton from it, and I'd expect that on balance a kid with ADHD would benefit even more from a rigorous routine to help schedule things.
@skycastle You are not wrong.
Routine is important at that age--and we have one. We've even agreed upon it (as much as the
Routine is important at that age--and we have one. We've even agreed upon it (as much as the
@sf111 As I said, my kids also have strictly limited screen time. But as they get older, the issue with scheduling will remain and your ability to plan out their day and limit screens will be reduced. What won't be reduced is if you focus on teaching that scheduling and planning to them now, because hopefully they will make better choices when the decision is no longer yours. That was the only point I wanted to highlight.
@skycastle Appreciate the insight.
@skycastle
Thank you. So many people act like it's the screen that's an issue (and in some cases it can be). But for many situations it's a problem with the routine, parents not being firm on boundaries, and setting their kids up for failure that results in acting out.
Thank you. So many people act like it's the screen that's an issue (and in some cases it can be). But for many situations it's a problem with the routine, parents not being firm on boundaries, and setting their kids up for failure that results in acting out.
@sf111 It's interesting that so many people have so much issue with screen time. We haven't regulated our 4 year olds screen time very much (ie....she watches way too much), but we've never had any issues with her being a problem about it. She never really fights us on turning it off or doing other things. We just tell her it's time to go out, or get ready for bed, have dinner, etc, etc. and she has never really fought us on it. I mean, maybe the occasional time where she hasn't wanted to go to bed or something, but nothing really out of the ordinary.