@catholic2001 I really liked the Bradley Method class I took. It can be hit or miss, but the best part of it was that its focus is husband-coaching… basically training your husband to be your doula.
They go through things like relaxation techniques and reframing what “pain” is. e.g. pain is a signal from your body that something is wrong; in a normal healthy delivery, nothing is wrong, but we can
feel pain due to fear, anxiety, overwhelm, stress. By getting in tune with our bodies, feeling confident in our “pain management” plan, and taking care of ourselves, we can have a relatively “pain” free labor. Pressure, cramping, discomfort, overwhelm, sure; but not “pain” (if that makes sense??)
Anyway, I did this in anticipation of my second. My first was induced two weeks early and was a 66 hour long labor - by my choice. I didn’t want a C-section (I had a huge surgery phobia at the time. I still do, but I used to, too). But I was on practically every drug a woman could be on. But with my second I still wanted to avoid a C-section, but I wanted more control and I wanted to do it as drug free as possible.
I still had to be induced, this time nearly two weeks late. It was 18 hours, most of that pain med free. A lot of walking, tried the bath but the monitors wouldn’t stay on and I had to get out, a lot of rocking on the ball. I did choose to do the nitrous about an hour before my transition. Transition hit like a fucking brick and sucked ass. Idk if it was because the pitocin was driving me through it or transition always sucks ass, but that was the only thing I’d say was “painful” during the whole thing, and that’s because I couldn’t keep up with my relaxation techniques between or even think well enough to communicate my needs. I remember taking the mask off a couple of times to say that the gas isn’t working and to give me something stronger, only to be hit with a contraction that proved that the gas
was fucking working only now I wasn’t using it and can’t get even breathe to speak.
Delivery was freakin’ awesome and 100% worth it. I could
feel my baby move inside me as he was pushing out. The endorphin rush is a freakin’ trip. Immediately after I looked at my husband and said, “WHOOOO! Let’s do that again!!”
I did not, in fact, do that again or even want to. That was the hormones talking, lol. But it was an amazing experience.
Yours will probably be different cuz you’re different! But the Brady Method helped my husband a LOT. He was an absolute champ the whole time and it was a bonding experience I wouldn’t trade for anything.
WE delivered a baby, if that makes sense?? We were in it together the whole way.