To wait or not to wait...

[silverthorne]

Our date is Jan 2019. So close! I’ve been off of HBC for over a month and am a day or two from my first O-Day (at least, I think I am). We know we want a family, but I’ve never been particularly baby crazy. I’m 29, as is DH.

And yet: I am having the strongest urge to just go for it now. It feels wrong but only in its impulsiveness - as a planner and rule follower, I feel I should be waiting for that Jan start date.

Reasons we are waiting: in January we’ll be on track to semi-easily save what we need within 40 weeks, we’ll be past holidays and awkwardly avoiding drinking at holiday events, and I’d like to lose 5-8 lbs before conceiving

Reasons not to wait: none of those are that big of a deal. It might take a few months anyway. It feels kind of sexy/exciting to risk it. Surely I wouldn’t be that upset, or upset at all, about being pregnant a whole 6 weeks earlier than planned.

So- I’m wondering about your guys’ stories? Any impulsive trying or date changing? Sticking to the plan and following the rules? Afraid you’ll be a cycle one unicorn and realize you picked a date for a reason? I’d love to hear your experiences and your ideas!

 

[windflow]

@silverthorne I don’t have any experience with your exact scenario, but I think if it was me, I’d be so excited to start early!

Is there a reason you picked January, other than savings and avoiding the holidays? If you conceived on the first time, would it be inconvenient to you (I know that there are always things that it would be more convenient to not be pregnant at, of course).

If you and your partner are on board, why not try? Best of luck to you!

 

[silverthorne]

I think it was originally determined by the savings goal, with the holidays’ being gone and my being still in my twenties until mid feb (silly mental thing, I don’t know). Kid conceived then would be old for their age instead of the youngest in their class, which is nice but of course not controllable really.

It’s so hard to want certain times of the year, because it might not happen. If I let myself think about that, then yeah- I’d rather be super preg in late summer/early fall. But! It might take a bit and be winter anyway. Seems like a hard time to be holed up with an infant, but again - not usually a choice you get to make.

 

[rebecca25]

@silverthorne I will say hormones around ovulation are really strong. There is a hormonal reason you feel the urge now. Our bodies are designed to want us to procreate to carry on our species.

I would stick to your date. I was someone who got really sick when I was 6 weeks pregnant until week 20. Vomiting 8 times a day weeks 6 to 16. If you conceived now you’d be about 8 weeks by Christmas. If you got sick like 75% of women do you’d be pretty miserable.

 

[kompresor]

@silverthorne Because it clearly isn’t a big deal starting 6 weeks early and I’m living vicariously through you, I say GO FOR IT!!!

 

[katrina2017]

@silverthorne I was going to move my date up one month from Jan to Dec but realised up be ovulating just a few days before Christmas. This is the most common conception date in our country which means the labor wards get very crowded and makes it more likely we won't be able to have the nice quiet birthing center pool in our local hospital if everyone is there before us.

Plus I think I will regret not just totally relaxing one last time for Christmas, soak up one last boozy family filled week with no worry about temps and tests.

I also started temping vaginally this month and seems to be much clearer what's going on so it would be nice to have a second month to confirm that!

 

[zzareyan]

@silverthorne We didn't start early but I was a cycle 1 unicorn the first time round. I was over the moon, my husband was a little spooked ha! If your SO is on board, I'd say go for it, what's 6 weeks in the grand scheme of things?

 

[rebecca25]

@zzareyan My caution would be if OP tried now she’d be 6-8 weeks right around Christmas. 6 weeks is when fatigue and nausea hit me hard. I was vomiting 8 times a day and could hardly keep any food down. I was sleeping like 14 hours a day. 25% of women don’t get sick but 75% do. And I thought I’d have an easy pregnancy and I didn’t. So I would hate to be so sick over Christmas and you just don’t know until you’re pregnant which camp you’ll fall into.

 

[zzareyan]

@rebecca25 It would suck to be sick over Christmas. My nausea and fatigue hit immediately. Practically week 3 before I even had a positive. It had cleared up by 8 weeks though. Everyone is different!

 

[rebecca25]

@zzareyan Exactly! You have no idea if it’ll hit you early, later or never and be mild or bad so I wouldn’t want to chance it esp. if it’s SO early you wouldn’t be telling anyone.

 

[simondesimone]

@rebecca25 That’s pretty much the only reason we’re waiting ‘till December (rather than throwing all caution to the wind this month)! We’ll be with family the last two weeks of Dec, and I wouldn’t want to be sick, feel like I have to reveal earlier than hoped, etc. Also, I rarely see family and want to be able to enjoy my time with them!

OP, in the grand scheme of things, six weeks doesn’t make a ton of difference, but I would definitely consider what your holiday plans look like, and how being newly pregnant may impact them.

 

[monyean]

@zzareyan Unicorn here too! First try.

 

[pyroisonfire]

@silverthorne We just went with it for our first... We got it on cycle 2. This time I'm not pulling the goalie until we are 100% ready to be pregnant. My flair says Jan, but it'll actually be at LEAST April. I'm way more logical about it this time because I don't want to be in the same position we were in with our first (i.e. how the hell are we actually going to make this work?!).

That said, when I'm not on HBC, the baby making urge is REAL. Fertile days are very obvious (or they were 3 years ago when we were TTC our son), so, since you're so close to O-day, this could totally be the hormones!!

That said, the reasons listed don't seem major enough to put off if you really don't want to! If you're feeling good about it, go for it!

 

[silverthorne]

@pyroisonfire You are not joking- I never thought the IUD affected me that much, but now that I’m off of it my sex drive is noticeably higher and I’m edging my way towards baby fever . Good points- thanks for your insight!

 

[intertraveler]

@silverthorne We're sticking to the plan because I got cold feet and freaked out when we actually got to it this cycle! It's our last one and really no reason to wait, but I personally need that 30 days to get ready mentally...even though I had the urge to go for it too. Plus, Christmas just seems like a romantic time to make a baby.

I'm kinda hoping we're not cycle 1 unicorns and have a few cycles to be disappointed before getting that positive. Again, all mental!

 

[lemonville]

@silverthorne I can totally relate. The struggle is real, especially as it gets closer. As long as it’s nothing major holding you back, I say go for it!

 

[reachouttothelost]

@silverthorne I was planning on waiting to get pregnant until September or October of this year, but we had been planning on it since much earlier—like thinking about it since last winter and actively planning since Spring. Then it got to be June and I was like "Let's just go for it. Fuck it. So we'll have two kids in daycare for 2 months next year if we conceive right away. We can afford it!" lol My husband is baby crazy, so he was all about it. Well, we got pregnant on the first try soooooo there we were. haha

My reasons to wait were that I wanted to be closer to finishing my master's degree, but I actually have a bit of an incentive to spread it out because I have a great job that is paying for my school and I don't get taxed on the reimbursement if I don't go over the annual cap (which is like 4 classes per year instead of the 6 or 8 I could do). Second, I was running a big Ragnar Relay in September and wasn't sure how I'd feel for it. Well, I ran that race just fine while pregnant and it was AWESOME. And third, like I said, we wanted to wait until my son was entering kindergarten to save on daycare. But what's the extra $640/mo for a couple months? We can save that. Plus I'm not getting any younger here. haha

I totally get wanting to wait, but I also get wanting to just go for it!

 

[saucedah]

@silverthorne So I’ve been ofF HBC for a whileeee now. And the closer it got to my date...like within a year of August 2019 (that’s the date I’d be technically done with my grad program) - the harder the resistance was. And hubby was on board. This last month we actually did have a go at it - it didn’t work and I went and got an IUD cause I took it as a sign haha. If I were that close, I would say go for it!!! I know once I get my IUD out nobody will be able to stop me lol

 

[katrina2017]

@silverthorne I would only wait if you have work reasons or a big trip. It’ll likely take at least a few cycles anyway, but if it happens first cycle and won’t majorly disrupt anything, I say go for it!

 

[wrldrvltn]

@silverthorne I jumped the gun with my first by... um.. a few months... and got pregnant immediately. And by jump the gun I just got off birth control, I was still trying to figure out my ovulation and was actually half heartedly trying to avoid getting pregnant by tracking my cycle. I should have waited because I got pregnant 1 month before we got married and closed on our house. And then it took a few weeks to get on my husband's insurance so I was like 12 weeks along by the time I had my first doctor's appointment. I honestly just didn't think I would get pregnant that easily and didn't realize how long getting on his insurance and finding a doctor would take. Everything worked out fine but next time I know not to get off the pill unless I'm ready to be pregnant immediately.

But your reasons for waiting just a few more weeks aren't as crucial as mine were. I probably would risk it in your situation if you're feeling it and are prepared to be pregnant right before the holidays.