The 'not your birthday present' tradition my M.I.L started

[mrsmae]

@jackiecline Birthdays are suppose to be special for that one person…… and everyone gets gifts? No… I’m sorry but no.

 

[angelaliens]

@jackiecline I have a branch of our family that is like this and we all think it’s super weird

 

[honkytonkangel]

@jackiecline A potential compromise here could be gift bags?

Birthday girl gets presents, all other kids (not just your girls) get a bad with candy, a small stuffie, and a balloon.

 

[katrina2017]

@jackiecline I’ve never understood this, plus my old man is Scottish so lucky to get a present on your birthday

 

[larryc]

@jackiecline I don’t like this idea at all, it sets unrealistic expectations and takes away from the actual birthday of each kid. My kids are b/g twins so they’ll always have to share a birthday but I could see down the road having separate parties for them if they want it, so they each feel special. Honestly what your MIL is doing is some real “everyone gets a trophy energy”.

 

[mynameisranjit]

@jackiecline With you on this!

 

[mrorvelle]

@jackiecline As kids my grandparents would do this for me and my siblings but it was a token gift. This was because my 2 siblings had birthdays weeks apart but mine was 6 months apart. It ended around 7 or 8. I've done similar with my kids because of jealousy.
Yes it is raising a nation of squibs but giving the non-birthday kid a small thing to unwrap has helped stop some fighting.

 

[gem08]

@jackiecline My sister got presents on my birthday. I will never do that for my kids.

 

[ssanlumiqha]

@jackiecline I feel this. My mom did the same thing until I asked her not to. Best of intentions. The compromise I offered was that she could give them whatever she wanted on the day before or day after. But not on the birthday.

 

[andreas]

@jackiecline My daughters are still young but my MIl does this as well. I’m nervous for the future when it gets out of hand.

At the moment I don’t mind the tiny token to keep the peace

 

[20yrslostinct]

@jackiecline Is you MIL related to Lewis Carroll?

 

[quiverlips]

@jackiecline This is okay to do when your children not having the birthday are like 3…after that it’s just teaching the wrong message

 

[drewatud]

@jackiecline I grew up in a household with non birthday presents. I'm against it now, as a dad

I think it's best to give the kid their special day. Everything is diminished for everyone's birthday when everyone gets presents.

 

[trey3200]

@jackiecline Sometimes we give our other kids a gift on another kid's birthday - but it's more along the lines of an extension of the present of the birthday kid. Like, "your brother got a light saber and you get one too so you can beat each other with them!" They only get something if it makes the birthday kid's present more fun.

 

[ladyvukavo]

@jackiecline This is why I'm glad we're a one and done family. My wife's parents did this for their son's kids, and its created a hell of an issue. Especially now that their money ran out, and they were forced to stop doing it, showing just what sort of kids the son raised...

 

[wenders]

@jackiecline Gifts for others, whose birthday it isnt? Sure, but should be limited to like, party favour types.

Like--- if you are getting the non-birthday kids a lego set, it should be the like 10$ lego sets, the little boxes of microfighters or whatever. Something to do, but clearly not a 'birthday gift' size.

 

[aeroshock]

@jackiecline We had to tell my mother repeatedly that only the birthday girl gets presents in their birthday. She would keep bringing gifts even after several conversations where I brought it up and asked her not to. The last time she didn’t bring gifts, but she gave the others $5 but she didn’t have enough cash do she gave the older girls $5 and the younger one $2… I again told her this is unacceptable and furthermore if you are giving gifts they should all be the same especially if it is $. It has caused so many problems in my marriage because my mom just keeps overstepping boundaries.

 

[katrina2017]

@jackiecline Most of my children were born in October. I have 4, 3 out of 4 were born in October. Even my wife.

Anyway, my mother in law started not recognizing my birthday and celebrating it in October. I felt disrespected, and would never accept the gift. I'd give it back, or toss it in the trash (even if it was cash)

My mother in law stated I didn't get to celebrate my birthday alone, I HAD to share it with someone.

I moved 1000 miles away from that lady. What a bitch.

 

[lawrencey]

@jackiecline We do something like this, but largely because older kid has a birthday a few days before Christmas, and younger kid has a birthday in the middle of summer. We treat it more as a "half birthday small gift that you get around the time of your sister's birthday", though.

 

[jogenie]

@jackiecline Commiserations, your wife and her mom are cut from the same crazy cloth. You can always take the presents and distribute them on a different day.