The moment you realize you’ve made it is when your baby will have the dad you didn’t

[garry25]

I must say millennial and gen Z dads are killing it! I grew up with 9 brothers including myself , between 4 different dads. Statistically you’d think one would wanna provide or that my mom made really poor choices (probably a bit of both) . Growing up in that chaos watching her fight with “men” to do the bare minimum really created a complex in me. So I vowed at 10 years old that I would never have a “dead beat” baby daddy! And I don’t, at 14 I went into foster care till 18 and in those 4 years the complex got even stronger .. I’m incredibly fortunate to have found a man who would cut off his left nut for his family! I just wanna say good job dads, I know it’s sad to even be acknowledging men doing the bare minimum of caring for a child, but when you grow up and see what I’ve seen it’s healing to see the dads of today and my precious hubby contributing in child rearing. I’m healing that little piece of me slowly through my baby and watching her have an amazing father, remember guys you are IMPORTANT and have a huge impact on your babes.

Edit: this goes out to ALL father figures it’s not genitalia specific

 

[misterblackeye]

@garry25 My husband had, for the most part, an absent father in his life and that made him motivated to be there for his future children. It just goes to show that we don’t have to repeat the same mistakes our parents made. Also my father was the father to all of my siblings, regardless of blood relation. Needless to say I love seeing men stepping up to be fathers.

 

[garry25]

@misterblackeye It’s amazing how far we’ve come, my man’s dad won’t even hold babies till they are atleast 6 months and change a diaper? No way lol, he even said to my man once ..”your comfortable changing your daughters diaper” implying that because she’s a girl it’s weird that a man would change a diaper. What his dad didn’t see is since he was a little boy he had a female cat name mini that would literally give birth on him lol, bring him her kittens and at 21 died in his arms. He’s delivered multiple babies of different species and has no problem touching there vaginas so why is his daughter different. He also didn’t even dignify father in law with a response.

 

[kunsgnos]

@garry25 It's gross - what's grandfather implying here?

 

[infomommax]

@misterblackeye My husband had an every other weekend dad, who did the absolute bare minimum.

There are disconnect moments, but he is such a good dad. Seeing him with our son is the greatest thing.

 

[erb]

@garry25 This is so wholesome. As an exhausted dad to a 14 month old - this post was nice to stumble on.

Agree our generation of dads are way more involved. Can confidently say I've changed over 365 poopy nappies. Not that poopy nappies are the marker of a good dad, but - just wanted to type it out loud

 

[garry25]

@erb Lmaoo yes it’s hilarious watching mine gag and talk in a baby voice well he’s wiping her ass lol, he’s like “how is it in every crevice “ and I always get a kick out of it lol. his dad NEVER changed a single diaper and it’s like something he prides himself on lol.

 

[erb]

@garry25 I always joke with my wife that I’m the poop specialist. Bubba also knows poop is for daddy lol

 

[garry25]

@erb Hahaha the poop specialist I love it, but as a mom I’m impressed that your well studied on poop, like that’s actually a really important skill lol. Once you have a baby and have changed enough diapers you just get it, only a dedicated parent really gets it.

 

[donarosita]

@garry25 I’d like to give some credit to the boomers. My Dad was awesome my entire childhood and into my adult life. He was always extremely devoted and involved with me and my sister. Not to say he was perfect, I learned some things not to do, but I also learned a lot of really good traits in a Dad that I’ve carried over into being a parent myself. Love you Pop!

 

[misstff]

@donarosita Same. There’s no one in my life I look up to more than my dad.

 

[romeo800]

@donarosita This! My dad was the more involved parent, so many life lessons, really a great Dad.

 

[garry25]

@donarosita Yes not all boomers, one thing I admire about that generation is the common sense/ handy stuff, like how to can food, or minor repairs around the house without google or YouTube.

 

[dazey]

@garry25 My husband always laments that he’s not very handy so we have to call people all the time for stuff around the house. But he’s extremely involved with our daughter as a parent. It seems like a generational pattern, I suppose.

 

[patrick1234]

@garry25 I feel the same way! My father and mother divorced when I was around 2 so my dad wasn't around so much. I also work in family law so I see a lot of bad dads. This being said, my husband is a great father (he works from home so he takes care of her all day and loves her so much) - I'm so happy about the upbringing my daughter will receive.

 

[garry25]

@patrick1234 Oof honey I bet you do see the worst parts of humanity working in family law, I bet your drive home must be so exciting knowing you’ll get a break from the sad stories of children with inadequate parents.

 

[patrick1234]

@garry25 Yes, it can be very sad, but it's a petty kind of sad. Fortunately, we don't have any child abuse cases but what are the most common things I see is one of two situations: 1) Dads are not interacting with their kids enough and the kid is old enough to know that their parent is just not interested in seeing them. Most often (not always) Mom is the primary caregiver of the child and is doing the lion's share of the work and Dad wants joint physical custody on paper - even though he rarely visits the child - because he doesn't want to pay as much in child support. 2) Young Dads who are much more involved as fathers want to be more involved with the child but Mom is shutting him out (usually denying visitation and making decisions about the child unilaterally) due to personal reasons (usually she hasn't moved on from the relationship and she has discovered he's seeing someone). It can be so petty and sad, I'm happy that even if things went south between my husband and I - we would never use our daughter like that.

 

[garry25]

@patrick1234 Neither would I, just because I was still in love or grieving over the relationship I would NEVER when I first aged out of the system I ate out of the literal trash, slept outside in minus 43 Celsius weather and still worked a demanding labour job, I don’t think him having a lil girlfriend would bother me much lmao. As long as she’s taken care of and never has to deal with what I’ve had to I’ll be at peace weather or not we are together

 

[garry25]

@patrick1234 I’m really glad you gave a dedicated house hubby

 

[verytroubledbythis]

@garry25 I do love how much more involved dads seem to be in the younger generations. It was a long time coming!

I wish it was easy to swear not to have a dead beat daddy & never have to deal with it but shit happens and people change. It sucks. I tell everyone, men and women to make sure they look out for themselves too because you never know.