My twin boys were born early Saturday morning after a few panned induction at 38wks. The birth was accidentally unmedicated due to a failed epidural and slightly traumatic. Baby A had a low birthweight (5lbs7oz) and B was within “normal” range(6lbs2oz). A’s mouth is so small that he has a really hard time latching. B can latch but he has a hard time getting enough milk and swallowing it. My milk has come in and I am producing enough pumped milk to give them. But I hate pumping. I want to quit. I want to switch to formula all around or to nursing without pumping or a combination of formula and nursing. If they can’t nurse well I don’t know if it’s worth it to try and keep my supply up by pumping. But at the same time formula is so expensive and hard to find right now. I feel like a bad mom for even considering trying to stop my milk production when my babies are doing good with pumped milk.
Tell me I’m not “giving up” or a failure. Feeding 4 day old twins
- Thread starter igbokwe
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@yorkiegal Lol, tnx for the laugh! Didn't think I needed it! So true though! They'll try to eat anything that's lose once they're older than a year! That's for sure!
Dunno why you would worry about a very carefully and scientific formula designed for every need of a baby. Though I'm a dude so probably not really intitled to an opinion.
Happy mom with a bottle is better than a stressed one.
Dunno why you would worry about a very carefully and scientific formula designed for every need of a baby. Though I'm a dude so probably not really intitled to an opinion.
Happy mom with a bottle is better than a stressed one.
katrina2017
New member
@igbokwe Do what is best for your mental health! That is key there. If you want to stick with breastfeeding, maybe try a nipple shield? I used one with my first baby. Personally, I hated using it because he never learned to not need it. But I’ve read that people can eventually wean their baby off of it once they’ve grown a bit.
anglicanpeace
New member
katrina2017
New member
@igbokwe I think so many people have been in the same boat as you, you are NOT alone!!! Do whatever works best for you, however I may advise giving yourself a couple of weeks to decide while the hormones even out. The first few days are excruciatingly difficult. I ended up pumping for my twins for 4.5 months and it was so hard.
You’ve got this, no matter what you decide!!! Hang in there.
You’ve got this, no matter what you decide!!! Hang in there.
katrina2017
New member
Came here to say this. I despised pumping for the first few weeks - my body felt like it was on fire and I did not like it at all. I’m 9 weeks postpartum and I still don’t like it, but I’ve gotten used to it. I like that they get the antibodies from my breastmilk and it’s less anxiety inducing for me when I’m able to measure exactly how much they are eating (rather than guessing with nursing). That said, you gotta do what’s best for you! Fed is always best and a happy parent makes happy babies. If you do choose to keep pumping, make it as comfy for you as you can: get some water or tea, sit somewhere comfortable, put on a TV show to quickly pass the time. Makes it less awful.
missyellow
New member
@katrina2017 I second the above comment. My twins were low birth weight and had a difficult time latching. They used a nipple shield for a while, which I hated, but it did help. I saw an LC and that was immensely helpful.
It truly gets easier as they get older. Of course do what works for you, but I’d also advise giving yourself and your twins a bit more time to adjust. Their latch well get better and their milk transfer more efficient.
It truly gets easier as they get older. Of course do what works for you, but I’d also advise giving yourself and your twins a bit more time to adjust. Their latch well get better and their milk transfer more efficient.
@igbokwe I gave birth via C-section last Tuesday. I'm currently at day eight. I could have written that post myself a couple days ago.
I'm still not 100% sold.
What our lactation specialist told us to do was to have mom try to breastfeed for 15 minutes and then call it, after that hand the kid off to Dad for bottle feeding, then Mom goes and pumps. So far, that has worked fairly well.
I'm still not 100% sold.
What our lactation specialist told us to do was to have mom try to breastfeed for 15 minutes and then call it, after that hand the kid off to Dad for bottle feeding, then Mom goes and pumps. So far, that has worked fairly well.
musicqueen
New member
@igbokwe Girl, do not feel bad about this. First, a fed baby is best. Second, no one talks about how hard breastfeeding is. I am not sure if they are your first, but with my first son, It took me a solid two months to get it down. I really struggled and it was emotionally and physically draining. After that, it got so easy, that I was glad I stuck with it. (Also not going to lie, the weight loss that accompanied breastfeeding was awesome). The last thing I just want to mention about formula that you may not have considered is the formula shortage. I see mom’s stressing out all the time in the mom’s group in my area about not being able to find enough formula. Just try not to be too hard on yourself. There is a huge learning curve. You and your babies just met a couple of days ago. You’re still getting to know each other. With all of that said, you know yourself and what your family needs better than anyone. You have to do what is best for you, your babies, and your family. There is no shame if you don’t breastfeed. The babies are still going to eat and be happy and healthy. Hang in there, mama!
tyranobunny
New member
@igbokwe Ultimately, you have to make the right choice for YOU.
I am a mom to B/G twins, born at 34 + 5. They were 4lb. 08oz and 4lb 4oz when they were born and spent 10 and 11 days in the NICU while they gained weight. Breast milk only! Pumping sucks, but it was all I did while they were there. When I visited them, we'd try and latch but they were so small and my nipples were so big. They would do maybe 1-2 minutes each.
When they got home, we still tried to nurse but I ended up pumping for a few weeks until they got a little bigger. I tried and practiced latching before almost ever pumped feed. Tandem was impossible since they were both so small and uncoordinated. If they did latch, and fed, we still followed it up with a bottle.
Now, we are at 3 months and they tandem feed like pros. It felt like I would never get here. There was lots of crying, lots of wondering if my supply was low, lots of frustrated cluster feedings.. but here we are.
If you can, and nursing is your goal - keep at it mama. But if you feel like you need to stop, don't feel guilty. A happy healthy mama is best for your babes.
I am a mom to B/G twins, born at 34 + 5. They were 4lb. 08oz and 4lb 4oz when they were born and spent 10 and 11 days in the NICU while they gained weight. Breast milk only! Pumping sucks, but it was all I did while they were there. When I visited them, we'd try and latch but they were so small and my nipples were so big. They would do maybe 1-2 minutes each.
When they got home, we still tried to nurse but I ended up pumping for a few weeks until they got a little bigger. I tried and practiced latching before almost ever pumped feed. Tandem was impossible since they were both so small and uncoordinated. If they did latch, and fed, we still followed it up with a bottle.
Now, we are at 3 months and they tandem feed like pros. It felt like I would never get here. There was lots of crying, lots of wondering if my supply was low, lots of frustrated cluster feedings.. but here we are.
If you can, and nursing is your goal - keep at it mama. But if you feel like you need to stop, don't feel guilty. A happy healthy mama is best for your babes.
manuelzepeda
New member
@igbokwe I had a terrible time breastfeeding with my singleton who was full-term but small for gestational age (5lb 15oz). We did the three step pump, breastfeed, bottle feed breast milk for 8 weeks and I finally called it. I regret spending two thirds of my maternity leave hating/feeling frustrated/feeling defeated during such an important bonding time with my little one. Now, my di/di twins are due in mid Oct and I will try breastfeeding again, but will not let the struggle last nearly as long. It took away the joy of my baby and nearly broke me the first time. Happy Mama, Loved and fed Babies is best.
@igbokwe You are not a failure. Repeat after me. You are a good mom. No matter how your babies are fed. I gave mine formular after 4 days during the night and they were so happy. I just couldn't cluster feed two babies. I know it's hard right now because of the formular shortage, but pumping is a freaking hard job and for most of us, it will never be enough. Don't feel bad about it, so many of us have "given up" and we have happy and healthy toddlers now 
@igbokwe Happy mum, Happy baby. You don't need anyone's permission to stop but your own. I don't think there's much more of a challenge than growing and then birthing and then trying to keep alive newborn twins. It's OK to make life a little less awful for yourself. Survival mode, you can do it!!
electric95
New member
@igbokwe You’re not a failure and you’re not giving up. Every option you will have fed babies - that’s what matters. Your mental health matters too. I struggled 6 months trying to keep up at my own detriment. You have to also put you first bc a healthy happy mom is the best thing for your babies. I’m not sure if you’ve tried a wireless pump, that’s what got me to 6 months - but even if you had you’re doing amazing.
@igbokwe Do what feels right. I had a lot of trauma that I had to sort through after forcing myself to continue breastfeeding my first. We later found out that he had a milk protein allergy.
Our twins were born a week ago. One was 4lbs and the other 5lbs. We were able to bring the larger twin home right away, the smaller one we just brought home today.
We formula fed from day one. Our smaller twin is now on fortified so we would’ve been bottling anyways. I have zero regrets. My mental health is much better. My milk came in and I had flash backs to breastfeeding and knew it was the right choice.
Breastfeeding one baby is hard AF. I literally can’t imagine doing two. There are a lot that make it work and have an okay time of it. I just know that the whole process is terrible for my mental health.
Mother’s sanity and happiness is so important and often disregarded.
We’re a week out from having the twins, we visited the hospital twice a day, talked to several people and today was the first day that someone asked me how I was doing. And it felt so nice and made my day.
Our twins were born a week ago. One was 4lbs and the other 5lbs. We were able to bring the larger twin home right away, the smaller one we just brought home today.
We formula fed from day one. Our smaller twin is now on fortified so we would’ve been bottling anyways. I have zero regrets. My mental health is much better. My milk came in and I had flash backs to breastfeeding and knew it was the right choice.
Breastfeeding one baby is hard AF. I literally can’t imagine doing two. There are a lot that make it work and have an okay time of it. I just know that the whole process is terrible for my mental health.
Mother’s sanity and happiness is so important and often disregarded.
We’re a week out from having the twins, we visited the hospital twice a day, talked to several people and today was the first day that someone asked me how I was doing. And it felt so nice and made my day.
@psalmbook How ARE you doing? If this is the first time you've been asked, hopefully you were getting good support.
I'm so surprised this is the first time you've heard this. I feel like I'm asked this all the time but I'm not really sure how to answer it...
I'm so surprised this is the first time you've heard this. I feel like I'm asked this all the time but I'm not really sure how to answer it...
chelsea2018
New member
@igbokwe Exclusive pumping I always say is the worst of both worlds... Chained to a pump and also all those bottles to wash?! I wouldn't do it. It's a lot of work, way more than nursing alone. Not to mention, how you feel is IMPORTANT. If it's not working for YOU, that's important. Don't feel pressured to do it if you don't want to. No matter what you choose to do, it's still very early on and things always get easier with time, but don't feel obligated to keep trying just because you think you should. Taking care of yourself is a good enough reason to stop.
jesusandanot
New member
@igbokwe My kids are 5, 5, and 8. None of them has had a drop of breast milk in their lives, they were formula fed from birth. They are happy, bright, intelligent and awesome, and nobody can tell or cares what they were fed as babies. You do what you need to do, and they will be absolutely fine. You're not giving up! You're just taking a different option. You got this.