Tell me I’m not “giving up” or a failure. Feeding 4 day old twins

[stephanie2425]

@igbokwe I did pump+formula combo for nine months for a 5 lb girl and 5.5 lb boy. No nicu for either. They were so tiny I was like how am I allowed to bring them home even? Tried to go a year but I just could not do it. It was so hard but I did my best and I’m happy I did but yes it was so so so hard. Mentally and physically you are at your absolute limit. Give yourself some grace, it’s going to be tough no matter what. Set a day you can stop and stop on that day knowing you did your best.

 

[robbo1992]

@igbokwe My heart goes out to you. I had so many issues with bf my first that I refused to try with my twins. Then one was born 5lb12oz while her sister was 7lb. We had trouble keeping the peanut awake to even attempt to eat enough. If they hadn’t been born at 38 weeks she would have gone to the nicu. But we were lucky that was nearly 6 years ago before all of these shortages (my sisters are both facing it). All of that to say, no matter what you decide, they will be fine. My peanut is 3inches taller and a few pounds heavier than her sister. They both just finished K, and no teacher ever has ask how they were fed as babies. With my first where I was struggling it was my LC that finally told me that a happy healthy mom is more important than BF.

 

[fullhouse7l]

@igbokwe We gave up before we even left the hospital. It’s borderline impossible. Don’t fret. My kids were both lower birthweights then yours. Now they’re almost 2 1/2 and are average weight and heights.

 

[sarah2cma]

@igbokwe Fed is best, even though it seemed impossible for me to emotionally believe that for the first month.

Your situation is similar to mine except I'm 12w pp. We gave donor milk in the hospital then combo fed since.

The babies are growing and happy. It took almost a month until they were big enough to latch and drink at all. Another month to be less sleepy so their nursing sessions were even at all productive, but it still takes them 15m to nurse and they're still hungry after. And now about ready to give up the nipple shield.

It's been remarkable to see them grow and learn, but tbh I'm not sure it was worth it. Lots of time, energy, tears and pain from me to get here - and I'm still at less than half of the total milk they drink on any given day.

Only you know what's right for you and your family. I hope you're able to make the right choice for you.

 

[peacejoyhope007]

@igbokwe I had a relatively normal birth with my twins and despite breastfeeding at the hospital, the midwife still brought in bottles to "top up" their feeds as I was exhausted! We just carried this on, I did BF whenever I could, but did a mix with bottles.

Twins are hard enough without putting extra pressure on yourself, just do what suits you and your family! They will be absolutely fine as long as they get fed somehow Congratulations and good luck, mine are 2 now and it's chaos but fun! (They're my 3rd and 4th kids so we were a tad terrified!).

 

[simluk]

@igbokwe You are soooo soo not alone. Pumping is so hard mentally, when I did it for my first born it literally just made me cry everytime it’s so hard. Don’t feel guilty for putting your mental health on the forefront, they need a happy momma too and FED is best.

 

[trusaders]

@igbokwe Whew… I feel you. I really wanted breastfeeding to work, but I had preemies with latch issues and it just never came together. There’s nothing wrong with formula, but there are resources out there for you to make breastfeeding and pumping better.

If you can afford a lactation consultant, see if one can come to your home. They can give you lots of advice on latching, position and nipple shields to help your small twin. They can also give you tips on making pumping better and more comfortable.

If a IBCLC is out of your price range, I’d check out One With The Pump on instagram, or r/humanspumpingmilk. You can also try r/breastfeeding and le leche league or kellymom’s websites. Breastfeeding can be very challenging, especially with twins and twins with low birth weights.

I will also say, hospital LCs and nurses will tell you it shouldn’t hurt to pump or breastfeed, but certainly f*cking does at the beginning. Just because it hurts doesn’t necessarily mean something is wrong, but it should get easier after a few weeks. If it doesn’t, then definitely seek help. There are so many variables to both pumping and BF’ing, that expert consultation can go a long way.

Edit to add: all that being said, formula is not giving up, it’s getting your child fed. You are more than a source of food!!!

 

[chrismarklee]

@igbokwe If you still want to try to give him breastmilk you can always pump and see how he does with the bottle. I would also talk to a lactation consultant because he may very well have a tongue tie that is preventing him from getting a proper latch and getting enough milk. Please have him evaluated because a tongue tie could affect his speech and it will also affect his ability to get milk from a bottle nipple as well and it will cause him to swallow more air when he does feed which can make him colicky.

 

[storisea]

@igbokwe Wife had ours bout 7 weeks early. They both were 4 lbs ish. Due to other complications wife can't pump or feed. They used donated milk for 3 days and they have taken formula ever since then. If you go to formula do not feel bad. Your baby's will grow regardless of your milk or formula.

 

[deepak1]

@igbokwe See an IBCLC, then decide what is best for you!

You got this either way

 

[kreation28]

@igbokwe I’m coming up to one year breastfeeding my preemie twins (born 33+3). Some advice that helped me: don’t give up on your worst day. Also, a lot of babies have trouble latching before their due date. I would give it some more time, but at the end of the day you have to do what is the best for you. Good luck!

 

[hobotone]

@igbokwe Do what is best for you. While I agree, don't give up yet... But at the same time your mental health is important too. I breastfed and pumped and finally got to where I was only pumping 3oz a day. I stressed so much with my first and with my twins.. I finally said to heck with it. When we switched fully to formula it was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. No more fussing and crying trying to latch two babies... No more pumping only to pump an ounce or two and my husband could help.

 

[leebrooks]

@igbokwe You don’t need to breastfeed. Do what feels right.