A friend told me is “really strict” with her 12wk old baby who she won’t let sleep on her at home so she leaves her on a pod on the couch.
Another who said their 12wk baby will read those black & white picture books for “hours on end”. And that you “just need to be comfortable with leaving your baby on their own so they build independence”.
Another said they “had” to go to sleep school because their 4 month old had colic. And now they “sleep all night”.
I feel like an alien in a country (Australia) where these stories are so common. And it’s hurting my heart at a deep level, every single day. We know, factually, that sleep is a physiological process. That ST babies don’t sleep more, they just don’t call out. This is a fact. And proven in studies (eg Hall) that monitored babies wearing actigraphs.
Are people truly naive? Or is it that they want their way of thinking to be the truth so they can justify ST’ing and they put on their own rose coloured glasses? If everyone could just acknowledge what really occurs with ST’ing I think I’d feel much better regardless of what parents chose to do. I am just struggling with my overall view of humanity
@sevenout03 I read a page book, a best selling book at that, that claims infants vomit for attention. This author recommends laying down multiple sheets or towels to remove when that happens and tells parents not to look in the babies eyes or give them any attention. Wtf alright.
@riseup Fellow Aussie non ST! You should read The discontented Little Baby Book by Dr Pamela Douglas instead. I recommend it to all my pregnant and new mum friends (if they ask). I also just want to reassure you that there are more of us bedsharing around than you might think, just be unashamed of it and you’ll likely influence people or have people fess up to you! And in the meantime, just enjoy being able to go out and about and living life with your sweet babe and not stuck in a dark room with white noise blasting at you and stressing about nap timings
@taisho I loved that book & followed this approach at first but just want to share that after 10 weeks my little man seems to be a sensitive, very curious/alert bub who does in fact need a calm, quiet place & some support to wind down otherwise he gets overtired & overwhelmed. Just mentioning this in case anyone else reads this and feels bad. I really wanted to be a “Possums mum”! We definitely don’t sleep train, we contact nap and we focus on his cues but babies have different temperaments. Hey Sleepy Baby has a great article on overtiredness and cortisol.
@eric2015 Oh yeah for sure, it’s very individual temperaments. I think people can go too hard on it and not realise that helping them dial down is actually soothing them to sleep. I mostly just found it reassuring because it’s so focussed and allowing you to bond with your baby and do what feels right to you as a family, rather than following some generic prescription
@taisho Oh I’m absolutely verbal about co sleeping. I find it weird that anyone finds it weird? My LO is 2.5 now though. Definitely no dark rooms and white noise here.
@taisho That book is my new bible. It convinced me to be able to leave the house and live my life with my baby. I feel so much more in tune with my bub.
The most pushback(?) I think I get is people just don't know how to reply when I say "I don't count naps, I've stopped believing in 'overtired' I just know I get roughly 2hrs of power out of him" and if I'm honest, I'm waiting for it to randomly stop working too.
Also I told my health providers that we've started bed sharing. I want to make it more common knowledge that it's common for us to do. Received no shame from GP, nurse or pelvic floor physio this week.
@eleos2b Dr Douglas founded a charity which was mismanaged by the people in charge. She had to fight to take back control of it. The finances were such a disaster that they had to shut down temporarily to get things back in order, and that left a lot of families in the lurch (including mine).
@campbellsd Yep. And this author claims you should also keep a tally and mark when you “win” against your baby. It’s a best selling book stocked in places like Kmart and all the main book stores. A top seller on Amazon too.
