@sharleeg I grew up on the West coast and moved to the Midwest for college and most of my 20s. The cultural difference in what people think is polite to say to others in my sunny hometown vs. Indiana was shocking to me at first. Two examples:
- Someone asked me about my knitting and said they knitted too, so I showed them the cabled scarf I was working on. They quickly pushed it back into my hands with an expression of disgust and said, "I don't mess with that complicated stuff."
- My boyfriend's (now husband's) grandmother asked me where I worked over the summer. I told her about my student job at a genetics lab. She screwed up her nose and said, "Oh I don't know about any of that. When I was your age I worked in a factory. Real honest labor."
I learned that when people made these judgey-sounding comments, it was usually because they were insecure. Deep-seated inferiority complexes about coming from a lower-income background, not having a college degree, having a lot of kids, etc. They expect others to judge them as dumb hillbillies, so they preemptively put them down in self-defense. The way they live is the right way, you see, so they don't have anything to be ashamed of,
you do!
I'd interpret those comments about your pregnancy the same way. Or, if you're feeling generous, that lady at church was trying to be sympathetic because she remembers how tough it was to be pregnant, and she was just really clumsy about it. In either case the things they say are 100% about
them and their own issues, not about you, and there's nothing to be embarrassed about.
. Mostly first time moms in their early or mid 40s. 
