Struggling

[amiruk]

@sharleeg 41, FTM from the Midwest here! Helping to bring up the average age of pregnant women in the midwest and make it more normal for this region to see "more mature" moms!

I have seen the same as you; friends got married in their mid-twenties, had kids ~30 BUT nowwwwwwww are divorcing and some into 2nd marriages. Not wishing that for anyone but in the meantime I'm still in my relationship (going on 19 years this year). We've lived a life traveling, having amazing experiences, just purchased our 2nd home and don't live paycheck to paycheck. I definitely did NOT live that way in my 20s and early 30s! Also, we have been "not trying not to" have a baby since I was 30... wasn't in the cards until now and it is a freaking amazing miracle no one can take from us! Everyone has their own life that has it's own timeline. It's been a rough few months getting to this point and realizing my station in life is PERFECT for me/us. When I was younger would I have said I would be okay being pregnant with any baby, let alone #1, at 41, no, but as they say, older and wiser right?!

Good luck, best wishes and here in "geriatric" pregnant spirit with all of us old gals!

 

[sharleeg]

@amiruk Congratulations!!! I totally agree…no timeline is perfect and I see a lot of my friends who settled down and started families right after college struggling in their relationships now (many are thriving too of course!) and even compared to when I had my boys I feel a little more stable and capable (although also panicked…thus my post). Together we’re bringing up the average age up for our area!!!!

 

[maritag]

@sharleeg I got married at 22 and am just now expecting our first at age 36. We just weren’t ready until a few years ago and then it took a bit longer than expected. We just hit the mark where we feel comfortable telling people and I’m sure we have a lot of this in store for us too as some of friends have teenagers. Even my mom was in total shock when we told her (she’d given up hope lol) that being said we also have friends our age with infants so I don’t think it really matters. I’m glad we waited and the people that have snide comments will have comments no matter what you do, might as well do what you want!

 

[beforebabel]

@sharleeg I turned 40 two weeks ago and hit 14 weeks yesterday this is my first (and likely only). I was very apprehensive about telling people because I was afraid of the shock and distrust they would have about my being pregnant as such an age. I live in a community where almost none of my friends have kids- yet they are all thrilled for my partner and me and the only comments I have heard about my age are coming from people outside my chosen community- a teacher I work with (meaning well and we love her but, yes) and a receptionist at my midwives' office. So: my family is nothing but thrilled, and my friends and chosen family haven't uttered a word about my "geriatric pregnancy." All this to say: it's not you, it's THEM! Listen only to the people you have chosen as your people as they are going to be your support system! Not the people at church or work or the grocery store. They are only concerned with their own perspectives and are not invested in our journeys, and those disconnected to us often lack the ability to empathize and be sensitive to us and our feelings about deeply personal decisions we have made for our lives and bodies. Congratulations to you and I wish for you a beautiful and healthy pregnancy and birth!

 

[jcscar]

@sharleeg Get better friends. Maybe they're jealous?

I'm 35 having my first baby and this is normal in my World. Half my friends haven't had kids yet. Loads are having baby no 2 at 37/38/39.

We're all higher educated with serious jobs.

Also, this is not alien - my grandma had her last baby at 34 (baby no 4) and she is in her 90s.

Remember, ladies who have babies later live longer.

Congratulations on your baby girl