Starting a co-sleeping tradition - once a week

[leematthew1234]

@rengb121 So people who prioritise their kids sleeping separately will say no, because obviously the child may want to do it more often. But whether or not this is an issue is completely down to your family and priorities. From a science based perspective there isn't as much to say here as they are old enough to bed share safely. It's your personal preference. If you and your child enjoy sleeping together occasionally you really don't need our input. It's not all or nothing, you can trial something and backtrack if it's not working, and explain why to the child. Even if sleep quality is slightly reduced, once a week wouldn't really be an issue and you can reassess if that's happening.

Example, I was sharing with my toddler in a king bed. To try to transition her to a toddler bed I had to climb in with her for part of the night, but as she isn't quite ready, it involved a lot of bed merry go round in the middle of the night, and squishing myself on the edge of the toddler bed. Everyone sleeps a lot better straight through if we just stay in the king bed together. She asked me about it and I said if she thinks she can sleep alone she is welcome to try the toddler bed, but I didn't sleep good trying to squeeze in, so I won't be sleeping in there with her. She did accept that

 

[seedtimeharvest]

@rengb121 I'm sure you're already aware that bed-sharing comes with it's own set of challenges. What did you "miss out on" exactly?

If it's extra cuddles you're looking for you could try putting a futon on the floor and inviting your kiddo to cuddle with you. I had a floor futon and used it in the mornings when I was tired but still had to be awake and watch my son. He would play by himself and then check in for some cuddles. It was really sweet.

 

[jolual789]

@seedtimeharvest Devil’s advocate here - but I love cosleeping and totally understand the sentiment of “missing out.” I coslept with both. More with my oldest and less with the youngest, as he was just a better sleeper. I’m so glad I coslept with both and think often about how I’m so glad I got to bond in that special way. Everyone’s sleep preferences are different, but I absolutely love the nighttime cuddles with my kiddos.

 

[gomez2219]

@seedtimeharvest

What did you "miss out on" exactly?

I realize every kid is different, but the only thing my wife and I missed out on by not co-sleeping was even worse sleep than we got when his crib was in our room.

Having our own space and own bed has been priceless.

 

[godsgirl1972]

@seedtimeharvest This. We cuddle on the couch. You get more out of it while you're awake. What are you even enjoying while you're asleep? I'm happy to sit cuddled up to one of my kids while they watch a cartoon and I sip coffee.

 

[totterman]

@seedtimeharvest My 11 month old still co-sleeps. She starts the night in her crib and sometimes stays there until 4am. Sometimes it 12am. Last night was a tough night, maybe teething? I took off her sleep sack thinking she was too hot. (It’s been hotter than usual) She sat up and crawled right next to me and fell fast asleep.

 

[yonniejoy]

@rengb121 Instead of doing a whole night, can you add in naps, story time, or movie nights in your bed to get your cuddle fix? I don’t think 3 year olds have a great grasp on days of the week (or boundaries in general) so I’d be hesitant to change his positive habit of sleeping in his own bed overnight.

 

[rengb121]

@yonniejoy That's a good idea. I was hesitant to do it during his weekend naps since we use this time to get a lot done. But I could try the movie night. He is actually getting really good with grasping the concept of days of the week, but boundaries in general might be an issue hahha

 

[bfewell]

@rengb121 If you are worried about this affecting kiddo’s sleep but still want all the sleep snuggles, you could try movie night in your bed. We don’t co sleep but we do this sometimes on the weekend, everyone snuggled up and watching a movie. It’s way comfier than the couches and the kids love it.

 

[alexanderlisa38]

@rengb121 I had a Thursday night ritual with my mom where we would watch Survivor and then CSI in my parents' bed while my dad had a card night with friends. We didn't go to sleep, just spent quality time together like that and it is some of my most fond memories with her. Would strongly encourage any sort of bonding rituals like that for sure!

 

[sophiaseo]

@rengb121 I did the opposite of most of the commenters here.

I always co-slept with my daughter and really glad that I did. I considered and tried sleep training for a short time, but did not see any benefit as it did not fit our lifestyle. I like to travel and typically we stay at a friend's place or at a hotel. At least once every other month, but typically once a month; 2-3 nights away from home.

In terms of # of hours sleeping, mood, height/weight for age metrics; have never been an issue for my daughter.

Now that my daughter is in Kindergarten, it wasn't an issue for her to sleep in her own room either. She still sleeps with me on Friday/Saturday; when we do weekend movie nights.

I'm really glad I didn't listen to friends in regard to sleep training. I have a much easier time in comparison to my friends when we travel together. We've traveled to 6 countries so far because of how easy it's been.

Note- I follow an attachment parenting philosophy, and anecdotally do feel a closer bond with my daughter. I don't know if it's something that could be measured. But I do know we're both happier when we co-sleep, and there's no issue in developmental growth for us.

I don't think you will regret cuddling with your kid more.

 

[follow_the_word]

@sophiaseo Can you explain what you’re comparing to when you say you feel a “closer bond” due to attachment parenting?