@rengb121 My four year old and I do this! My husband doesn't like the idea of cosleeping, so when he is away for work we have sleepovers. Also, once a week I sleep in her bed. She knows this is conditional upon her being good at bedtime the other nights (she earns checkmarks she can redeem for a sleepover so there is no issue on other nights and it causes no confusion).
I say if you want to just call it sleepover night and go for it!
I'm clear with my daughter exactly why it can't be every night (sometimes I have work to do after she goes to bed, we both sleep better in our own beds, etc.). Keeps it special and something she looks forward to
@rengb121 I know a family who does "sleep anywhere you want night" once a week. I think their youngest was about 3 when they started this. It usually ended with at least one of the kids in bed with one of the parents, wherever that kid wanted the parent to be - like on the sofa bed in the basement or whatever. I think I might try to start something like that once mine are a bit older. Anyway, they seem to be doing fine! It's just their special thing like some families have movie and pizza night or whatever.
@rengb121 I say no way. Just do what feels normal and appropriate for the family, but specifying one day only per week perhaps puts undo emphasis on it.
@rengb121 My son is 2.5 - we never coslept until recently (other than infant contact naps). He started coming to our room in the middle of the night a month or two ago, and we just let him. Probably once or twice a week (if we are out later on a weekend or if one parent is out late) we will have a sleepover. The next night he will sometimes whine he wants to sleep in our bed but we tell him no and snuggle him to sleep. It’s not anything beyond normal toddler whining. I really love him sleeping with us whether it be from the start of the night or in the middle - and we have no intention of stopping it!
@justanotherperson My son started being up in the middle of the night around 2.5 too. At first we tried to fight it and just put him back to sleep in his bed, but I'd be up an hour later comforting him again...after a couple months of this I finally said just come to our bed...now at 4 he comes into our bed 3-5 times a week still. Sometimes he asks to just start there, but unless my husband is out of town for work or he's sick, we tell him he has to start in his room. I figure he'll grow out of it one day, they're only little once.
@gonzolita Personally it was bad for us and we all got poorer sleep. I never felt comfortable falling into a deep sleep and was always hyper aware. My son would wake everytime I move too. Once he started sleeping in his own room we were both more rested.
@gonzolita I don't know anything about mattresses in the Philippines but in the US a lot of adult mattresses are a suffocation hazard because they are too squishy for a baby.
@rengb121 Anecdotal story: My dad is a firefighter and my mom would let me sleep in her/their bed on the nights my dad was on shift. It didn't make me more likely to harangue my parents on other nights because the pattern was established. The few times I had a nightmare or growing pains and my dad was home, one of them would soothe me in my bed. I think we did this from 3 yrs to 7 yrs old. I wonder if you made it such a distinct event, "Thursdays are SnuggleFest!" then maybe it wouldn't balloon into a struggle?
@rengb121 This is popular in my family. Cousins did it, my brother and I did it, and I've done it with my first. Will do it with my youngest too, when he's old enough, if he wants to. Positive experience for us all, and it definitely didn't create any sleeping issues
@rengb121 My son is almost seven and one a week he sleeps with us. He loves to snuggle and I don’t think it has affected his sleep routine. He does just fine in his own bed.
@rengb121 Omg I would love to do this. Especially on a Sunday when the transition to school is so hard. However I’m not sure they could cope w then not having me in their beds other nights. I wish we could cosleep.
@shyhelpless I can't speak for this person but... My son is 3 and I never really coslept with him. As a single mum I had to make sure I was getting enough sleep to care for him. As he got bigger he got squirmier and downright rowdy in his sleep. Now when I try to steal a cuddle while he's asleep I usually get smacked by a flying limb. If I try to lay with him to sleep he either doesn't stop talking or tells me to go away. I regret not getting to experience waking up next to my sleepy toddler or snuggling him thru a night. I regret not teaching him what it's like to sleep with someone so that sharing a bed when traveling is more doable. That being said, I do not regret teaching him how to sleep on his own. When I overstay my welcome in his bed after tucking him in I get a whispered 'you can go now' and then I watch thru the baby monitor as he gets himself comfortable and drifts off to sleep. Plus I know I won't have a five year old who can only sleep in my bed.
@rengb121 I think it's going to depend on you and your child and that's it. You can try it and if it doesn't work for some reason, you can phase it out. But people can really only give you anecdotal evidence based on their own experience with something like this.
As a cosleeper, I wouldn't change it for the world even if it's annoying at times. I will never look back at this time in my life and wish I had more sleep and less snuggles. I have one that has almost all his life and one that absolutely refuses to sleep anywhere but her own crib.
Personally I think your kiddo is old enough to understand if you explain that it will be one special night per week. Maybe make it a special night all around with a movie or a certain dinner or something to show the routine is different for one night only each week.
@rengb121 I save co sleeping for comfort. Such as being sick, teething or when baby could not rollover. Maybe you could do something similar? Or do it for naps occasionally. It is a very special thing to do everyone in a while. There may be the risk it changes the kids preference but up to you.
