Spam me with your *aspirational* parenting habits for your 3-5 year old

[charles1014]

I love checklists . Please spam me with your *aspirational* parenting habits for your 3-5 year old. They can be daily, several times a week, monthly, etc. I acknowledge that everyone's parenting style and children are different, and the habits will change over time. Also, I have read parenting books, but frankly, I've forgotten a lot of what I've read!

I don't stress about not ticking off all the things on my "aspirational parenting" list, but I find it helpful to have something to refer to, especially when I'm tired. My husband and I spend 7-8 hours of waking time with our daughter every day and she's an only child so we do have the opportunity to practice a lot of aspirational habits. She goes to a Montessori daycare and will be starting the preschool/primary program in a couple of months.

Things I have so far:

1. Play outside for at least 30 minutes (ideally 2 hours but they also spend a lot of time outside at school) - good for eyesight, gross motor, creativity, etc.
2. Read at least 2 books
3. Speak to her in our heritage language.
4. At least 15 minutes of one-on-one child-led play
5. Serve a vegetable at dinner without pressuring her, and eat together.
6. Show her that I enjoy, like and appreciate her
7. Make up a story together every night
8. 3x a week: Do a problem from the bedtime math site/app
9. Have her call relatives every couple of weeks
10. No screen time.

Over to you! (And thank you!)

 

[thanksgod]

@charles1014 You guys are all wonderful parents but I can’t help but feel stressed out by these lists.

 

[blever]

@thanksgod As a parent of a almost 2 year old, these are my feelings

 

[simonbaggins]

@charles1014 My aspirations:
1. Don't yell at him
2. Survive

I do pretty well most days.

 

[gagaermac]

@simonbaggins This.... this is more my level.

High five!

 

[simonbaggins]

@gagaermac Someone had to balance out the high achievers.

 

[katrina2017]

@simonbaggins Me too haha, thanks for keepin it real

 

[honestscript]

@simonbaggins This

 

[katrina2017]

@charles1014 Talk positively behind her back(where she can hear you)

For example: look directly at her stuffed animal when she’s in the vicinity and say “my daughter is so brave huh!? Today, she went down the slide all by herself for the first time!”

Also, don’t compliment physical attributes. Talk to her about her favourite books, and how interesting her preferences are, not how pretty her dress is, etc

 

[francelina]

@katrina2017 Awww I love this talking positively “behind” her back!

I was trying to stay away from compliments about appearance too but then I read a Slate parenting advice column where the writer was an adult and felt like she had all kinds of hang-ups about her appearance because her parents literally never complimented her on it ever. So she felt like she could never be comfortable in her body - never felt cute or confident about herself. So now I try and pepper in a few here and there - while the majority still focus on her strengths.

 

[byfaithyoustandfirm]

@francelina Yeah unfortunately we still live in the world we’ve currently got. I think appearance based compliments are fine when sporadic and appropriate eg when dressed up for an event or you just genuinely noticed how pretty her eyes are etc.

 

[jeffp]

@charles1014 Tell your kids how much you love to be their parent!

I tell my kids often that I love to be their momma and they absolutely light up when I say it. I think it's something really important for kids to hear and it's appropriate for any age .

 

[steph1575]

@jeffp I agree, I tell my kids this all the time and my eldest (my youngest is a baby) tells me "I love being your kid!"

 

[thefamilyinchristpl]

@jeffp This is so sweet I love this. Can’t wait til my 8month old can understand when I tell him this.

 

[edward]

@charles1014 My son is six now. When he was three I started the Thousand Books Before Kindergarten plan. We went to the library once a week and checked out 21 children’s books that we had never read before. I read him 3 new books a night until we reached 1,000.

When he entered kindergarten his vocabulary and speech skills were better than most kids in his grade, and he picked up learning to read on his own quite quickly. He is now in first grade and he reads chapter books by himself with minimal assistance from me. I credit all of this to the Thousand Books program!

 

[leematthew1234]

@edward Love this idea and in general love any idea that encourages parents to read to their kids more because its truly amazingly beneficial. Given that toddlers learn so well from repetition, I'd love to see a study done on like.. 1000 unique books versus 250 books each read 4 times. We have a decent amount of kids books in the house probably 100 or so but there's definitely days I've read "the dinosaur that pooped a princess" 10 times in a row haha

 

[junebug72]

@leematthew1234 Hmmm yep my thought was also about the benefits of repetition. I wonder if there’s a bit of a difference depending on the age of the kiddo? Like my 2yo benefits from the same book 15 times a week but a 5yo might benefit more from variety? I’m just spit-balling though!

 

[katrina2017]

@leematthew1234 Omg I've never heard of this book but I already know my kids will love it.

To answer your question though, repeat books count for the program too!

 

[leematthew1234]

@katrina2017 Yeah there's a whole 7 series of "the dinosaur that pooped.. "

 

[robbu]

@edward I love this idea!!