Solo parents, would you have another?

I'm 37 and my husband is 36. My husband is a wonderful and attentive father...when he's home. Which is approximately 6 months of the year (4 week rotations - gone 4 weeks, home 4 weeks). I work part time during our winter slow season and full time over the summer. Our 2 year old daughter has been in full time daycare since September and is finally coming out of the sick 24/7 stage.

I'm not going to lie, working full-time once we hit week 3 and 4 of him being gone are HARD, especially when she gets sick and I'm up all night with no relief. My parents are wonderful and helpful (but are also getting older). I would take at least 12 months of maternity leave so I wouldn't be working with the newborn.

My husband and I have always wanted two kids. I like the family dynamic and how you will have different things in common with each child at different stages of their life. We also only have a small extended family, that is very spread out, so my daughter only has 2 cousins that are a 4 hour plane ride away. There is no one else close by so I do worry about the lack of a sibling (even if there are no guarantees they will get along.).

So, my question is: solo parents, what's it like with two vs 1 short-term and long-term?

I had a hard pregnancy and a colicky baby so I'm dreading the newborn stage. But I know that's not forever, if I could be handed a 1 or 2 year old when she turns 3 I would do it in a heartbeat, but what am I really signing up for as a solo parent?

Do you just survive the first few years for long term gain? What's it like with a baby and a toddler as a solo parent? What's it like long term with a 3 and 6 year old and 6 and 9 year old? I know it's not comparable to a single mom because I get a break once my husband comes home.

My daughter and I have a great life together. She is my sidekick and is now a very loving and mostly mild mannered two year old but can still get very clingy, especially if she's not feeling well, which is obviously to be expected. It makes me wonder, how do you balance the needs of the baby and the toddler when they both get sick overnight if you can't tag team it with a partner?.
 
@lovethyneighbourasthyself I’m not a solo parent, but I have two young kids and honestly, I could not do it. I think it depends a lot of personality types (you AND the kids). If you are doing okay with one, two might not be a big deal in the long run though.
 
@lovethyneighbourasthyself I know it’s only short term, but don’t underestimate even how short term stress can impact you. I have a 1&3 yr old, very little external support but a husband who is almost always at home (outside work hours). I could not have done it alone, or with one ounce less help. I think if you can work out a way to increase your support network it would be manageable.
 
@lovethyneighbourasthyself That sounds really tough even with just one. I’d try to change your situation or saving for support before having another. 4 weeks of relentless parenting with a newborn and three year old sounds awful unless you have support.
 
@katrina2017 My husband would take paternity leave for 3 monthss. We would most likely leave my daughter in daycare. I'm more curious about people's experiences long term. What's it like having a 1 year old and 4 year old by yourself?
 
@lovethyneighbourasthyself Sorry I commented without that personal experience, but I have a mom friend with a husband who is gone working for several days at a time with a 3 year age gap between her two. She has little support and although she loves having two and she’s so organized, it has been a huge struggle for her. Still is and her kids are 5 and 2 now. It’s worth it to her, but it’s very tough.
 
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