@hyacynthia I feel so much community after reading this. I was induced 5 weeks early, my baby was IUGR with a velamentous cord insertion, the doctor fucked up my initial stitches and I had to have surgery with no Anesthesia for 45 minutes before they decided they needed to DC and then put me under.. after having me sign forms saying I wouldn’t sue if I could never have more children OR you know, died. And then had to be stitched in 4 different places because I bled out.. spent a week in the hospital on mag because oh yeah, preeclampsia.. my baby spent two weeks in the NICU. I am honestly so traumatized by it I can’t imagine ever being okay for another pregnancy.
Thank you all for helping me not feel alone.
Also, our healthcare system is seriously fucked. My partner likes to say that 100 years ago I would have died from this.. I was so close to dying even with “advanced medicine.” Anyways, I guess I’m still feeling messed up but at least I’m not alone I guess. I’m so sorry for anyone else who goes through something like this.
@hyacynthia My experience wasn’t as traumatic but it was enough to cement my OAD status. Husband and I both have infertility so we have a minute chance of pregnancy but I considered him getting a vasectomy because that’s how much I don’t want to go through that again.
@hyacynthia I had a similar type episode with my first. No C-Section, but he was vacuumed out and came out quite dusky and flat. They put him on my chest and called for the NICU and he wasn’t making a noise or moving. They grabbed him and ran him to the end of the room to work on him. I remember asking “is everything ok? Is he ok?” And no one would tell me. It was horrifying.
I’m also fairly sure I had some sort of PTSD even years later from my first miscarriage and the experience of having a D&C.
You can have ptsd from anything. And honest to god childbirth is horrifying and scary when things don’t go right.
Don’t feel bad at all. Don’t make excuses for others.
@hyacynthia People don’t understand others who are one and done under even with a better experience. I’m so sorry you had to go through all that and I don’t blame you for fearing it again. Sending you the biggest internet hugs
@hyacynthia Oh my gosh, that sounds absolutely terrifying- I'm so sorry your experience was so traumatizing. I would feel the exact same way as you, scared of getting pregnant again. You are 100% entitled to have your tubes removed (to be honest, you'd be entitled to do so even if your labor had all gone as planned). It's your body, your choice.
But back to my original point. Your feelings are completely valid, and I hope those around you can see that.
@hyacynthia I actually think some people struggle with their own trauma and shove it down deep, and you acknowledging yours bring theirs to the surface, and they don't like that. It reads that they don't have empathy, and that is partly true, but mostly they're just dysfunctional.
@hyacynthia What a cruel thing to say. It’s so hard to admit you have ptsd and for it to be belittled is disgusting. Fuck your friend and your mom. Your body, YOUR CHOICE! I support you. I’m sorry you went through so much. That sounds rough as hell. You can be thankful for what you have and still have PTSD. They are not mutually exclusive. You do you mama!!!
@hyacynthia Your experiences are real and your feelings are valid. I have learned that I cannot trust most people to safely honour my trauma, and therapy helps a lot. I am sorry your friend responded to you in a callous and dismissive manner. I hope your surgery goes well and that healing takes place for you.
@hyacynthia I hate people minimising my experience. My family did that to me. I had hip pain from 20weeks, then preeclampsia, had to be on drips for that, had to have pictosin, epidural didn't work, I am allergic to fentanyl and other strong pain killers, so I was vomiting throughout my 20hr labour. Baby had to be vacc out. Got an infection in my IV port, got cdif from the antibiotics.... And still my family likes to say, aww well she came out healthy, and you know your SIL had hyperemesis, she had it bad, you were fine.... Like shit man, can't you just acknowledge that maybe we both had a bad time???!!!
@hyacynthia I had my bisalp in February! If you have any questions about recovery or what to expect feel free to dm me. DEFINITELY use the ice pack if they give you one - I saved mine and still use it for migraines too.
@hyacynthia I’ve kind of decided I don’t want to share any of my birth choices with anyone. Because people can’t acknowledge that someone might gasp process things in a different way to them. It’s so ridiculous, let’s validate each other not yet and one up each other!
@hyacynthia I’ve been a mom for almost 6 years now and I’ve probably discussed the whole birthing process with other people maybe twice? 3x at best?
Just curious. Even when I was pregnant, I remember reading online about the whole c section vs vaginal birth debate and having a “c section “ doesn’t make you a real mom… never actually encountered this in real life..
Point being, I also had an emergency c section, was a bit traumatized by it, but the key is not to look for others for validation (in birth or any other aspect of your life). Your experience and feelings are valid to you and you shouldn’t need to explain them to anyone else.
I hope your surgery goes well and that healing takes place for you.