@chenml60 So I am a nurse who used to work in a trauma ER before I got pregnant. I participated in two resuscitations for babies who lost their lives in bed sharing accidents that ended unfortunately very tragically.
This was a hugely traumatic experience for me as a young nurse, and having seen that was a humongous contributer to my postpartum anxiety. I was TERRIFIED to bed share, but also had a baby who would ONLY sleep in my or my husband's arms. But being so scared of bed sharing meant that I couldn't sleep if baby was in the bed. It was a horrible, horrible sleepless time.
A big game changer for us was getting one of those side-car style bassinets that attached to the bed. About 20 minutes before I was going to put baby to bed, or when I would get him up for bottles/changes overnight, I would put a heating pad (on low) in the bassinet and underneath his sleep sack. It made his sleep space super cozy and reduced the shock of moving out of mom's arms into the bassinet. That was how we made it through the initial transition from contact sleep to bassinet sleep before we built more independent sleep habits later (using takingcarababies).
I feel for you, friend. It's such a hard struggle. I hope some of these tips help you tremendously and that your whole family gets the rest y'all need so badly here soon.