Safe Sleep 7 says formula fed babies shouldn’t co-sleep/bed-share. Do you?

[baresi]

@chenml60 Don’t ever

 

[chenml60]

@baresi Give me another solution.

 

[jlove55]

@chenml60 I bedshared with my first. She was EBF and wouldn’t sleep away from me. She wore footie pjs and I would wear normal pj and cover my legs and tuck the blanket under my legs. Definitely followed the safe sleep 7 things and did that c shaped laying with my arm above her and her at my breast so she wouldn’t be by the pillow or end of bed. She didn’t move at all at night and neither did I.

This baby is formula fed. I did bassinet and now crib in my room. At 5 months she always rolls to sleep in her stomach and scoots around the crib so there is no way I could have her in my bed. Also I’m way more tired this time keeping up with my older child so I couldn’t deal with sleeping so light next to the baby.

If I was in your position I would probably bedshare too. It is really not safe to fall asleep holding them or be so tired during the day you can’t function at all. Just keep practicing sleeping by himself if that is something you want and maybe he can get there eventually.

 

[mrtornzy]

@chenml60 Try a Moses basket in the middle of your bed. If baby definitely needs to be held this probably won’t help. But a Moses basket helped us and created a barrier between us and baby. I am thinking he felt safer and closer to us in the middle of the bed (always inside his Moses basket/crib) than he does on the cosleeper bassinet. I formula feed and use a crib like this in the middle (not a nest, but an actual crib). This might also be helpful to familiarize your baby with a crib and eventually maybe you can place him on this “crib” on a different surface? E.g. on the floor, since these smaller cribs are meant to be portable/cannot be used inside other cribs.

Something like this, but might be too small for your baby

Or this

Edit: a word

 

[pearlin]

@chenml60 My baby also has reflux so I was sleep deprived and contact napping up until 8 weeks also. After that I intentionally had her take shorter naps during the day and longer wake windows, which resulted in her being super tired by bedtime. I’m finally just now getting 4-5 hour stretches at night at 11 weeks (and in her bassinet) because she’s too tired to realize she’s not being held.

 

[chenml60]

@pearlin Ohhh! I’ve been just been letting sleep as long as he wants to throughout the day. Each time he finishes a bottle I start a stopwatch app on my phone. In general, after eating he is awake for about an hour and 15 minutes, so maybe an hour and 45 total if you include the diaper change and bottle feeding. Then he contact naps in a sling for about 2 - 3 hours. He won’t nap independently otherwise. 8 weeks old.

At night, now that he’s sleeping with me, he’ll initially sleep for a 3 hour stretch, but then wake himself up every hour after that until we start our day, so still pretty exhausting but not as bad as before.

Tell me more about your daytime sleep and wake windows.

 

[pearlin]

@chenml60 So what has worked for us is her wake window from changing, feeding, burping, and keeping her awake intentionally can last up to two hours, sometimes 2.5 if she can do it. I know they get sleepy when they eat but I just try to keep her awake when I burp her and so I’ll talk to her, walk around the house and show her things, do tummy time, anything to keep her awake. most of the time when she’s been awake for that long, by the time she’s ready to nap, she’s REALLY tired so I’ll hold her till she’s in a deep sleep and slowly set her down in her bassinet. If it works, great! If not, I’ll just pick her back up and repeat. When it does work and she sleeps in her bassinet, it won’t be for long because obviously she doesn’t like it, so it results in the short 30 min-1hour naps. It makes the day exhausting because you’re not able to do anything but wash bottles and use the restroom. lol. But after a week or so of this, she’s so tired now that she knocks out in her bassinet at night and for 4-5 hours. She’ll then wake up to eat, and go right back to sleep for another 2-3 before she’s up up for the day. If she’s super cranky from not getting enough sleep during the day, I will still do like one contact nap during the day so she can get a good 2-3 hour nap in. I hope this makes sense and works for you also! Hang in there!

Also, I know babies are supposed to sleep more than what I’ve been doing but this is what works for me and my baby and that’s what matters!

 

[chenml60]

@pearlin I think I will try this, thank you! I already have a very similar routine. Wake, diaper change, eat, play, sleep. As soon as he yawns, I bounce or walk him to sleep to prevent him crying, but I’ll start trying to extend that play time.

 

[chenml60]

@thomasleonard On a recent night, I put the full bottle in his mouth, blinked, and it was empty. I was so confused before I realized I was asleep while he ate the entire 4 oz and maybe sometime after. I have no idea how long he was sucking on an empty bottle. I felt horrible.

 

[thomasleonard]

@chenml60 We've all been there! The sleep deprivation is real and brutal. We're just honest about it. You know yourself and your baby best mamma. Trust your gut

 

[lizabethann]

@chenml60 Right there with you momma, my LO is now 12 weeks and we literally were in the same phase as you, reflux, contact only at the same age. i’m the one who started the bad habit because i was SO SCARED of him choking in the middle of the night, it would literally spurt out of his nose. these things have helped us the most :

for reflux :
dr brown preemie wide bottles!!!! ( pain to wash but have helped so much )
side lying up right feeding position
paced feedings
burped every ounce
kept up right for 30 minutes after
we are only pepcid twice a day
similac alumentium is our formula

for sleep :

• we eventually broke down and bought a SNOO, we found one on market place for a really good deal and it has helped his sleep a ton, the small motion it makes mimics being held and i swear by it. would i pay full price? no, but man has it saved our sleep. there are several other bassinets that do the same motion that might be cheaper.
• he absolutely despised the SNOO sleep sacks, he’s a very long baby and the crotch strap killed him, ( this isn’t consider safe sleep but it works for us ) we ended up cutting one of the sacks and sliding in the sides so it would rock ( it won’t rock unless the straps are engaged ) DO NOT COME AT ME, I KNOW THE RISKS.
• halo sleep sacks, arms out, velcro tight across belly helps him with the pressure.
• we were bamboo footie pajamas and then the halo sack.
• hatch sound machine, red light and ocean noise lol
• elevate the head of his bassinet, we have tuna cans under the legs of ours
• we also do a bath every single night, this helps his belly and helps him calm down ( plus he loves the bath )
• once out of the bath we only use a dim lamp in the room to get dressed.
• once he’s dressed i feed him on my chest, let him burp and stay up right for 30 minutes ( he also gets into a gooood deep sleep then ) and then cut the snoo on and very very gently lower him into the bassinet. i bend so my chest goes with him, lay his butt down first, slowly his head and then place my hand on his belly for 5 minutes after so he knows i’m there.

things that have helped my anxiety :
- his bassinet is on my bedside close enough for me to hear if he choked
- OWLET DREAM SOCK

from one momma to another, i see you, i hear you and this is hard.

we went from waking up every single hour to 5/6 hour stretches. i was so sleep deprived he would end up in the bed with us more nights then not, and one morning i woke up and was like OKAY IVE GOTTA FIGURE SOMETHING OUT or he is literally gonna die in our bed. these tips have helped so much for us, during the day most of the time he still contact naps, but i aim for atleast one bassinet nap a day. during night feeds i do the same thing, feed on chest, transfer the same way.

 

[chenml60]

@lizabethann Are you watching me?! Jk - I do almost all of this except the snoo and owlet sock. We tried the Sock and didn’t like it. The reflux has been resolved now that we have him on Alimentum, but yes we pace feed with Dr. Brown’s bottles and premie nipples in a side lying position before a 30 minute upright digestion. Burped every 2 oz. I did elevate one side of his bassinet 10 degrees. Trying all the things! Thank you so much for taking the time to help me brainstorm!

 

[tinyfaith]

@chenml60 Drop side cribs are not allowed to be sold in the US anymore as they are incredibly dangerous. Please do not use a drop side model, get a standard crib. Side-car cribs are also unsafe and there should be space between the parent bed and child crib/sleep space.

 

[chenml60]

@tinyfaith This is the crib we have: https://a.co/d/0u8C42v

Is it unsafe?

 

[parad0xical]

@chenml60 Shouldn't the baby's head be higher than your head that way you won't pull the blanket/sheet/whatever you sleep with over them because you wouldn't pull it over your own face?

 

[chenml60]

@parad0xical When bed sharing, one is not supposed to have anything on the bed other than a fitted sheet. No blankets or pillows. I know myself, and I know that if I put a blanket on my legs, I would pull it up in my sleep so now I’m instead wearing 3 layers of pajamas and sweats.

 

[parad0xical]

@chenml60 I take it then a single person sleeping bag is out of the question too if only allowed a sheet?

 

[jimdubu]

@chenml60 How old is your baby? I’m sorry you’re struggling. Personally I was never comfortable bed sharing when I was breastfeeding or bottle, because I was too scared and also I’m a light enough sleeper that I would hardly get any sleep anyway. I chose to sleep train to avoid it, that being said my pediatrician confided that she didn’t want to sleep train so she bedshared… and her kids are both older than my daughter who’s 3, and still climb in to bed with them, so that’s a no go for me, toddlers are impossible to get good sleep with lol.

I’m so glad that you’ve gotten a formula that helped him and he’s feeling better. If he’s over 4 months now then you can do formal sleep training and save you both from rough sleep or fears. If he’s younger then you can’t do formal sleep training, but if you head over to sleeptrain sub then they’ll be able to help you start laying geoundwork and start some tactics that are appropriate. Good luck, it’s such a difficult phase and you don’t realize how important sleep is to your mental, physical and emotional health until you aren’t getting it. I feel for you.

 

[chenml60]

@jimdubu We’re only 8 weeks old right now.

 

[jimdubu]

@chenml60 Ok, then formal sleep training isn’t an option yet, but if you are open to sleep training as a whole I would definitely post there. There are small things you can start to do. If you check out the book precious little sleep then there are “SLAP” methods you can start to implement in order to work toward more independent sleep.