Safe Sleep 7 says formula fed babies shouldn’t co-sleep/bed-share. Do you?

[cjr86]

@chenml60 We decided to co sleep the first 6 months (she’s formula fed) and bought this thing so that we could safely. However, my family is mostly immigrants whose countries don’t share the same stuff as the US so co sleeping is the norm for most of them.

 

[churchreallyismylastname]

@chenml60 Your baby might like a Snoo if you can find one used. The snoo sack has a swaddle and a zipper, which gives them the feeling of being held tightly…my son loved it! Hang in there, Mama.

 

[toomanythoughts]

@chenml60 I don't co-sleep so I can't offer advice on the practicalities, but here are some alternatives that worked for us: taking shifts! Ideally with the parent who is 'off' sleeping in a different room. Formula allows you to devide the night into two shifts so that both set of parents get 4-5 hours of consecutive sleep. It really made a huge difference for us.

You can also start working on slowly weaning him off needing the contact during sleep. Things like holding him for 30-45 minutes and then when he's in deep sleep trying to transfer him, pre-warming the crib before the transfer, others have already mentioned a bedsides crib...

Good luck!

 

[chenml60]

@toomanythoughts Thanks for taking the time to offer ideas! My husband has a medical condition that prevents him from doing any night shifts. If he were to start losing sleep, it would exacerbate his condition and cause symptoms, so we have been sleeping separately (I’m in the nursery) since baby was born.

Baby actually goes down really well. It’s staying down that’s the problem. We’ll keep trying!

 

[toomanythoughts]

@chenml60 Oh I'm sorry that's so difficult! It's probably not what you want to hear, but I would probably co-sleep for now in that case. And get one of those adult size really warm onesies to avoid the blanket situation. I think being sleep deprived is probably more dangerous than safely co-sleeping, formula fed or not!

When baby is a bit older you can sleep train. The book 'precious little sleep' has a good description on how to wean of co-sleeping.

 

[roldjk28]

@chenml60 I would never cosleep because I can be a violent sleeper. I toss and turn and kick and punch. Cats have been thrown across the room. My husband wakes up with bruises.

HOWEVER: The safe sleep 7 was created by LLL specifically to keep people exclusively breastfeeding. One of the hardest things about breastfeeding is that no one else can help with the baby at night. A lot of breastfed babies won't take a bottle of breastmilk, or mom's don't produce enough to pump for a later feed. So to prevent moms from picking up formula at night, LLL came up with this concept that isn't super scientifically backed.

I don't have advice for you because I don't know how old your baby is. Things like the ability to swaddle, use a pacifier, etc. or even start with some sleep training methods would be some of the advice I would give.

 

[chenml60]

@roldjk28 That’s another reason (besides medical) why my husband doesn’t co sleep with us. We even slept separately while I was pregnant for that reason. I’m a very still sleeper.

 

[jan800]

@chenml60 Have you looked into Montesorri floor bed set ups?

My understanding is that in countries where cosleeping is more widespread, they have a much different set up than American beds. Essentially, they sleep on thin, firm surfaces close to the ground with thin sheets (or no sheets) which greatly reduces suffocation risk.

If I did cosleep, which I don't, I think I would use a thin sleeping mat on the floor, with no blankets.

 

[chenml60]

@jan800 I’m definitely looking into it, thanks!

 

[candyluna]

@chenml60 I have 10 month old twins and I had to bed share out of sleep deprivation. Mine were both reflux babies, so I fully understand how exhausted you are. I would put my babies down in their bassinet, but they'd still end up with me or my husband at some point of the night (sometimes both). We did what we needed to do to barely function.

I'm a side Sleeper and I sleep pretty still so I just had the baby's side tucked up to me with my arm over them and hans tucked under. This helped me be more aware because if I tried to roll, my wrist would be bending a painful way. It also put a barrier between my husband and the baby in case he got too close when he wasn't aware I'd have grabbed a kid.

I had my kids in their pjs plus sleep sack, with me wearing no blankets, and no pillows. If you're wearing 3 layers and still freezing at 70, I'd be a bit concerned. Maybe invest in some quality warm/wool socks? Or just wear the blanket over your feet/calves?

 

[chenml60]

@candyluna Yes exactly how I sleep. My husband thinks me being cold is psychosomatic because even in summer I still need a sheet covering me for comfort. I’ll just have to deal with it.

 

[candyluna]

@chenml60 Totally fair! Have you looked into adult sleep sacks? Kyte baby has them and I honestly want to get one just because of the cozy factor (thy are 20% off tomorrow if that helps).

I don't know if it was suggested elsewhere, but he may also just hate his bassinet. I put my girls in their cribs (in our room) early because they hated the bassinet so much.

 

[chenml60]

@candyluna I didn’t consider a sleep sack for myself! He did well in his bassinet the first 5 weeks, but he’s so long. He’s also almost at the weight limit for it so when he’s in it, he wiggles and gets smushed against the sides.

 

[lesangeles97]

@chenml60 In the uk breastfeeding isn't one of the requirements check out
https://www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/co-sleeping/

Also I read other day that the safe sleep 7 isn't just 7 it's meant to be more things if you read more into it

 

[lesangeles97]

Also I recommend an owlet and keeping the alarm bit in same room as you if you do cosleep. I didn't start until 6 months

 

[chapstevesock]

@chenml60 I bedshared with both of my kids and think there's absolutely a way to do this safely. For one, I am a very light sleeper, any noise or movement and I was waking up. I used a cosleeper in the bed so baby had their own space, kept on top of the covers and all the way at the top against the headboard. My face was level with baby. I dressed them in zip up pajamas and then a sleepsack. Both of my kids were formula fed almost from day 1.

 

[jowiko]

@chenml60 Yesssssssssss!!!!! I did with mine. I tried and wanted to breast feed soooooo badly. But my supply was literally nothing. I pumped what I could for a few months but then baby went solely on formula. My girl just turned one oct 26th and we’re still going strong! I absolutely love the cuddles and I feel it gave me what not breast feeding didn’t.

At the end of the day it all comes down to the risks we’re willing to take.

 

[gemini_mathew]

@chenml60 I fed expressed breast milk because I didn't want to breastfeed at all, and occasionally provided formula. At 10 months, my LO is now 50/50. I coslept and I don't think the method of feeding had anything to do with whether or not it was safe for my baby, and I felt some of the guidance was kind of wacky. If cosleeping is what works for you, than let it work for you! Others can mind their own business. I felt surprised by the amount of moms in my group that did it but wouldn't talk about it because of how frowned upon it was.

We coslept and transitioned slowly to the crib in her own room, the bassinet was a no-go for her. I started the transition around 2 weeks and she was fully in her room by about 8 weeks. I would try to do at least one nap a day in her crib ( the first, so if it was a bad nap her next one would make up for it). Usually I would put her down for bed and would try to get her to settle until 1am or so, then I would bring her to bed if she wouldn't settle or we couldn't keep going. Eventually she started settling faster and sleeping longer in her room. Now she sleeps through the night in her room. I miss our snuggles all night though. I tried bringing her to bed once a few weeks ago because I missed her, then again last week because she had a cold and needed the comfort, and she would happily sleep with me from 8(ish) until 1(ish), then she'd think it's play time and would wake up so I'd transfer back to her room. I know she is in a safe, comfortable place which is best for her but I miss those nights!

When cosleeping I put my baby in her pajamas with no sleep sack and found the body heat kept her warm. I would wear regular pajamas then kept a blanket below my waist, I don't move a lot in my sleep so I felt comfortable doing this and had I been an active sleeper I would not have. My baby's face was always about armpit level, I didn't think breast level made sense as she wasn't breastfeeding and armpit was where it was most comfortable for both of us.

 

[baodantri]

@chenml60 My baby never slept well in a bassinet but slept great in his crib. When it wasn't safe to use the bassinet because he was rolling, we got a mini crib because we weren't ready for him to be out of our room. He slept much better. I kind of think it was because the bassinets are really uncomfortable. Ours had a terrible mattress. The mini crib mattress is also appropriately firm and he was also right at eye level with me in the bed which helped. I saw in another comment that you said that husband cannot help at night at all due a medical condition. I wonder, is there room for him to help in the early morning or evening so you can get at least a 3-4 hour stretch of sleep? In the early days that little longer stretch was a game changer.

 

[chenml60]

@baodantri He does do a 3-4 hour stretch in the early evenings but I then have to play catch up with everything that couldn’t get done in the day because I was wearing/holding baby, so by the time I’m done with all that, I only have 90 or so minutes to try to nap. And by then baby is crying because he’s all about mama.