Pet Peeve On These Parenting Reddits..

[yamikani]

@shaughnessyym yes, i did, and i think that's a really uncharitable reading of that comment. i don't think it's unreasonable to ask "hey are there any tips in this book that were particularly helpful to you" before you go reading an entire book. you're all over this thread mad that you read a book and not everyone is choosing to do that, even going so far as to call it "cheating." i personally find it more rewarding to have empathy for other struggling new parents.

 

[shaughnessyym]

@yamikani I’m not mad people didn’t read it, it’s up to them to decide how they want to approach their parenting learning.

My only points have been:
- I think the reason people may not provide more summaries is because they don’t have time to/are tired.
- IF they chose not to provide a summary, I find it very entitled to be mad at them for that choice. The “I didn’t read it but I’m going to be mad you didn’t spend time to help me” stance is where I take issue. Just accept that they’re as tired as you and move on to someone who may have more time to help, or do it yourself.

 

[abyers56]

@jsphalford11 Nap trapped with my baby on me right now I’ve read like 10 books this year because my baby only naps while I hold him.

 

[jemmmylim]

@jsphalford11 Not all heroes wear capes...

 

[davidkiwi]

@jsphalford11 My partner was into finding books and suggesting that we read them to cover xyz parenting topic. And guess what? It never did help too much because our kid was different. And that’s ok. But I sublimated my disinterest in the books and read the books for my partner; it meant a lot to them that we try, and they usually arrived at the same conclusion anyway: this shit doesn’t work for our kid. So I humored them instead of taking a strong stance and were stopped consulting books for everything. Not sure if this is relevant at all.

 

[favourfelix]

@jsphalford11 I have found that when someone recommends a book, I can do a quick google search for cliffs notes or check amazon reviews for more detailed examples of what the book is about/how it has helped some people.

 

[favourfelix]

This is harsh but some of these comments about absolutely refusing to do any reading or research remind me of the saying, “Life is hard. It’s even harder when you’re stupid.”

 

[lmr]

@jsphalford11 Is no one using audiobooks? Like yeah it would be great to sit down and read an actual book, but that’s just not real life for me right now. If someone recommends a relevant book, I just listen to it while I clean or make dinner or whatever. I’ve found book recommendations to be extremely helpful tbh

 

[rjdb]

@jsphalford11 I get this is supposed to be funny, but the sentiment still makes me sad. A world where reading is viewed as privileged.

 

[paul999]

@rjdb A world where time to read is a privilege. Leisure time has always been a privilege.

 

[jsphalford11]

@rjdb I love to read. It's just...time right now. Time and money.

Saying 'oh lol just read this fairly dense and dry book and it'll solve all your problems' is not especially useful to someone who already barely has the time to eat.

 

[favourfelix]

@jsphalford11 Congratulations on your baby and please don’t let this stress you out, I mean it with sincerity: delete reddit for however long you need to read whatever book you’re avoiding reading- you obviously have a few minutes here and there.

 

[shaughnessyym]

@jsphalford11 Library books are free

 

[blkcloud]

@jsphalford11 I get what you are saying, but I also disagree. I swore by a certain sleep book, and it was a game changer for me. The book had specific easy to follow instructions. But when I told friends what I was doing without the context from the book, it didn’t work for them. I bought them the book, they read it and tried again. Guess what it worked.

For me the time I spent reading was an investment to getting more sleep which lead to more time.

Final note, it doesn’t take disposable income to read. Libraries are a great free resource.

Happy Reading

 

[decrypted]

@blkcloud This - I'm a bit confused by the premise that an entire book should be able to be distilled down into a reddit reply. If it could be, surely the authors would have saved time and effort and written a twenty page book instead of a 300 page one. Yes, you can share a quick tip or two, but the reality is that reading the book probably is necessary.

 

[lecsettcalnest1983]

@jsphalford11 Digital books. I read on my phone. Beats doom scrolling social media. But yeah SOME kind of tip beyond a title Rex is helpful

 

[lsister08]

@jsphalford11 Last year exactly around this time I was a new mom of an 8 week old desperately wanting to get my baby to sleep and after searching the subs for advice and seeing the book Precious Little sleep recommended so much, I bought it.. for $8. I was a breastfeeding, sleep deprived mom with absolutely no family or friends to help out and i still managed to read the damn book and you know what? I learned a lot from it and was grateful for reddit to recommend it. I also want to say that I have ADHD and reading books is extemely difficult for me. This is probably the first book in my life that I actually read becuase i was desperate and also it had really really good informormation that no ampunt of reddit cliffnote comment could convey. The book goes into detail on many different scenarios based on baby temperament and a lot of other different factors and only after you read it you will know which one suits you and your baby. The reason people recommend books is because they are written by actual people who have knowledge on it and it has literally helped thousands of parents and redditors here are just passing you that information of the book. I would have never known about this book if I didn't come on reddit looking for help.

 

[valentinusheretic]

@jsphalford11 I totally agree with you. It is like those online recipe website with lots of useless text. I just want to know the recipes

 

[alfrescodining]

@jsphalford11 I think in the end it's near impossible to see the OP's scenario from their point of view. There's just too many factors in play. I admit I try to give advice sometimes but it's from my life situation and not yours. (i'm a new parent too after all) Therefore asking for advice online from a global community may have adverse effects. That being said, I've been bruntly told by a Texan to let my son eat all he can handle and yeah, it worked. 100%. (back when he was a week old and the feeding amount suddenly skyrocketed to the point I was worried his belly would burst and i panickedly found this subreddit). Just ignore book sellers though.

 

[isidore]

@jsphalford11 Because I don't have time to summarize a book, just like I didn't have time to read it all to begin with.

I also don't really remember what I did manage to read, I just remember it helping at the time.