Needing some other parents opinions....

[eco]

@elephas I have a voice in my head saying "she's too young...this isn't okay...this isn't normal"

 

[jeh]

@eco I’d say listen to that voice. I may be old fashioned but I think there’s something inappropriate about a minor having sex in the same house as you. And besides, sex is better when you’re young if it’s a bit taboo. Like they have to work for it and there’s an air of rebellion. I’m glad my parents didn’t hold my hand through my teenage romances.

 

[elephas]

@eco Completely get that! It can be hard to not see our kids as little kids. Not saying she’s grown but she is growing up. If she’s in a healthy relationship, open with y’all, and already having sex, that one step of letting him in her room isn’t going to change anything. It may seem weird, but it’s important that we as parents don’t place rules that don’t have a reason. If you trust her and her relationship, then you can trust that she’ll make good decisions when they’re in the same room.

 

[eco]

@elephas This is why I posted here...to get another parents perspective and viewpoint! Thank you

 

[elephas]

@eco Of course! Best of luck to you and your family!!

 

[bengalinath19]

@eco Nope! And I have a son and that wouldn’t fly with me either. Also working together…living together…? They need some space

 

[tryingwife]

@eco I wouldn’t even let him sleep in the house so you’re better than me. My mom let me stay at my boyfriends when I was 15 and it made me grow up way too fast.

 

[brad4god]

@eco I think you should support your child being at your home with her boyfriend if the relationship is healthy. She will be in a safe place and you will show you trust her to be responsible for her actions. And you took measures to avoid pregnancy, etc so that’s ok.

And I think you should not support your child working that late. She should get a lawyer and sue Wendy’s for not giving her a shift that is compatible with her age. And then find a job elsewhere.

I think allowing this to continue shows her that employee / employer relationships can be toxic and abusive and that’s ok. That’s not ok at all.

Sorry to focus on something else other than the main reason of your post but businesses shouldn’t exploit people, especially young and vulnerable people.

 

[tito1990]

@eco i really don’t see a problem if you know this boy and he’s respectful to your daughter.
i was staying over with my boyfriend from 15 s were many of my friends. show her a little trust

 

[truthsearcher63]

@eco No!!

 

[cl870228]

@eco if they want to do it they will do it. your attitude means it will less likely be in a less safe space and more likely to be unprotected. if you ban you lose the ability to have a conversation with her. how are the abortion laws where you are?

 

[sheryl99]

@eco Nope wouldn't allow that to fly. Im a male with a 14 yo male and I wouldn't allow him to have his gf sleep in his bed nor him to stay at a gfs house if I know he'll be allowed to sleep in her bed at these ages. My daughter is 5 so I got some time before I have to worry about her.

I'm not naive, I was his age 22 years ago and I know what I would be doing if were allowed to sleep in my gfs bed. I started being sexually active at 15. My parents weren't naive either but when my gf spend the night because she was going on vacation with my family early the next morning my dad said "if teenagers want to have sex they're going to find a way to do it. Short of locking a teenager up and/or having a 24/7 eye on them it would be nearly impossible to pretend 2 teens who want to have sex from doing it. But to allow her to spend the night in your room with you in your bed is a whole other thing. If you really want her to sleep in your bed thats fine but you're going to be sleeping on the couch"

I wouldnt allow it either, you're already being kind to let him sleep over but there's absolutely no reason he needs to sleep in her bed. Also don't fall for anything like "we'll keep the door open" or "he'll sleep on the floor" or any other bullshit like that because I tried the same thing lol they're probably gonna sneak and have sex those nights anyway so if you're wanting to prevent that keep an eye out.

 

[ketchupwu]

@eco “If you’re man enough to spend the night with a girl, you’re man to be on your own.”

My dad’s exact words when I thought I’d spend the night at my girlfriends house. He was dead serious. I stayed at home and didn’t go. This was 2001, I was 19.

 

[abbim]

@eco Your house, your rules. They dont like it? Too bad.
That said.. kids are kids. I used to sneak my boyfriend into my room at night when he would "sleep over on the couch". We cant supervise 100% 24/7. If they are going to have sex..better in a safe place than the streets or somewhere grose. And no, i am not suggesting its encouraged but what else can you do aside from ruling that he cant come over past a certain time of night?