OAD because sleep!
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@stripe We’re OAD because our baby doesn’t sleep! She’s about to be 18 months and slept through the night one time and typically wakes up 3-4x a night 
We can’t risk this again, sleep deprivation is real. Luckily one of us has always been a SAHP who is on night duty while the working parent sleeps, but we’re both about to be working again and there is a lot of anxiety around getting all of our sleep needs met.
We can’t risk this again, sleep deprivation is real. Luckily one of us has always been a SAHP who is on night duty while the working parent sleeps, but we’re both about to be working again and there is a lot of anxiety around getting all of our sleep needs met.@stripe I had so many of those days!
My daughter entered the kicking phase at 3.5. I thought it was emotional. I was trying to conceive #2 (using donor sperm) and actually got pregnant and made the mistake of telling her way too early that she was going to have a sibling. That's when the kicking seemed to start. Kicking at random times in the middle of the night and then consistently starting at the crack of dawn. I figured it was anxiety about impending changes. Well that pregnancy didn't stick and the kicking continued. And continued. And continued. It's dropped off in the last few months (she's 5 now!), but I mean it went on. And on. And on. Every. Single. Night. I put her in her own room but of course then she would wake up crying for Mama. So back in my bed, and more kicking.
I regret that I kept seeing it as a behavioral issue because I now realize it wasn't, its onset just happened to coincide with a stressful time, and came after she was a good sleeper as a baby and toddler. Of course when you're sleep deprived your reasoning isn't at its finest.
It sucked especially because everyone understands when your newborn is keeping you awake at night, when it's your 3 y.o. people are like, 'You need to get a handle on that!" Or "aren't you past that by now?" My friend (I like the guy but he gives terrible advice) told me he and his wife "never" had these problems with his kids and it was because they were "consistent" and "wouldn't tolerate" it. That she was "testing" me and I needed to show her who was "alpha." I'm embarrassed to say in my sleep deprived state I bought into that more than I should have.
In hindsight there was nothing to really do except ride it out. Lack of sleep is the worst!
My daughter entered the kicking phase at 3.5. I thought it was emotional. I was trying to conceive #2 (using donor sperm) and actually got pregnant and made the mistake of telling her way too early that she was going to have a sibling. That's when the kicking seemed to start. Kicking at random times in the middle of the night and then consistently starting at the crack of dawn. I figured it was anxiety about impending changes. Well that pregnancy didn't stick and the kicking continued. And continued. And continued. It's dropped off in the last few months (she's 5 now!), but I mean it went on. And on. And on. Every. Single. Night. I put her in her own room but of course then she would wake up crying for Mama. So back in my bed, and more kicking.
I regret that I kept seeing it as a behavioral issue because I now realize it wasn't, its onset just happened to coincide with a stressful time, and came after she was a good sleeper as a baby and toddler. Of course when you're sleep deprived your reasoning isn't at its finest.
It sucked especially because everyone understands when your newborn is keeping you awake at night, when it's your 3 y.o. people are like, 'You need to get a handle on that!" Or "aren't you past that by now?" My friend (I like the guy but he gives terrible advice) told me he and his wife "never" had these problems with his kids and it was because they were "consistent" and "wouldn't tolerate" it. That she was "testing" me and I needed to show her who was "alpha." I'm embarrassed to say in my sleep deprived state I bought into that more than I should have.
In hindsight there was nothing to really do except ride it out. Lack of sleep is the worst!
@ayen57 I honestly think that raising kids is so much about their individual personalities. Like congrats if you have kids who will tolerate sleep training but mine would scream until he vomited. We went to a play date this week with 2 little girls age 2 and 4 who were so quiet, obedient, tidied up after themselves. My kid has a ton of personality but plays great on his own, he isn’t the most active kid and I’ve been told that’s why he won’t sleep. But guess what - days where we’ve spent several hours at an indoor play gym and then the afternoon on our giant trampoline- he doesn’t sleep either! The unsolicited advice is so crappy. I’m not looking for advice, just an understanding ear, a “that must be hard”, or a oh gosh I’ve been there too. This group is so wonderful and so is this thread.
earthmover
New member
chrissygerzen
New member
@stripe It wasn’t my first reason but it was def on the list of why. Our sleep has been so horrible and only just found a new approach that seems to be working since December. I know you’re not asking for advice and it sounds like you’ve tried a million things but if you wanna know more about what we did then let me know!
sampaththodati
New member
@stripe In a messed up way this actually makes me feel much better about my 6.5 month old that’s still waking multiple times a night. Usually he just needs his pacifier to resettle and sleep but needs food 1 time around 2 am usually. I keep reading about other babies in my bump group that are sleeping all the way through the night and it makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong.
@sampaththodati I promise you are doing nothing wrong. I also can say that it has got progressively better on the whole as our son has gotten older. Like even when we have a bad night, I can look back on it (after a better night) and think - 3 wake ups and a night tantrum as a one off when normal is waking once or twice now - is a ton better than waking every 45 minutes and sleeping on top of us when he was small. I hope you LO surprises you and sleep improves quicker than for me.
@stripe Mine sleeps ok but the little gremlin doesn’t feel like lying down till about 9 most nights. He is busy living his best life while we are staggering alongside. We have a routine, he knows the drill but once we get to the final story he just starts jumping like a crazy bean. And then he wakes up at 7 and starts all over again.
hereforabit
New member
@stripe It's a huge part of it. Despite doing everything I can think of, he doesn't sleep through the night and is always in my bed. The first year of his life was absolute torture and I just can't convince myself to "roll the dice" and risk having a low sleep need/high contact baby again. And now also having a toddler that I'm taking care of too. It seems absolutely IMPOSSIBLE.
@stripe Try to take away the naps and incorporate alone play time.
Kid didn't sleep through the night until, at 18 months old, we got her a bed. She then would sometimes wake up 1/2 x a night, but it gradually got better as we got rid of the naps.
Because I need my 5 min here and there, we incorporated alone play. She didn't like it at first, but got used to it.
She also turned out to be an evening kid, so there's no point to put her to bed early.
Kid didn't sleep through the night until, at 18 months old, we got her a bed. She then would sometimes wake up 1/2 x a night, but it gradually got better as we got rid of the naps.
Because I need my 5 min here and there, we incorporated alone play. She didn't like it at first, but got used to it.
She also turned out to be an evening kid, so there's no point to put her to bed early.
@stripe My girl is 14 months and although I had a very rough delivery, long recovery, and very challenging time breastfeeding (that led to exclusively pumping).... it's the sleep that makes me never want another. I just can't do it. I'm exhausted 24/7 and can barely function. I want to enjoy time with my daughter but I'm too tired to.