Nurse told me to stop breastfeeding at night

amandak695

New member
My 9-month-old has been breastfed since day 1. Never taken a bottle. Followed his weight curve (perfect 50th percentile) until he was 7 months old. Then he stopped gaining weight - which coincided with him starting to move around, but I assume the weight curve takes into consideration that babies start crawling around that time. He eats some spoons of solids a day but it's not his favourite. It's as if he doesn't even know he should open his month. Then if some food does get in it often gets spotted out again. On average he wakes up 2-3 times during the night to breastfeed.

The nurse thinks I should stop breastfeeding at night to make him eat more solids during the day. But her advice has made me really stressed because 1. we co-sleep and I don't feel like letting my baby cry through the night because he's hungry; 2. wouldn't night weaning mess up my supply?; and 3. why take away his main source of nutrition? Would that really magically make him eat solids?

Instead of following her advice I offer fatty & high-quality solids (e.g. avocado, cheese, baby porridge) before and in-between breastfeeding during the day. But I'm stressed about it possibly not having the desired effect and that the nurse will push us to night wean next time.

Any advice on how to make a fully-breastfed baby eat solids? And how to help him gain weight?
 
@amandak695 Firstly- just want to chime in as an ER physician who did a peds fellowship— who also has a pet research interest in how we talk about weight and BMI and what kind of biases that creates in medicine. In general, this is MOST relevant for adults (particularly women, and also particularly people of color)— but we’re seeing it a lot now with babies and kids.

Growth charts are good for ONE thing— recognizing an unhealthy pattern. By this I mean- a baby was 80th percentile, and 4 weeks later he’s 10th percentile. It is ONE single measurement that can alert when there’s something going on, but on its own is absolutely and completely useless.

It is also important to note that, like BMI for adults, the growth curves for babies do not take into account really important factors such as where a baby is in their development, what their ethnic background is and their parent’s body types. As a standalone number it is kind of silly. It is based on AVERAGES- and I would also like to point out that these growth curves are not accurate for babies who come from backgrounds that were not traditionally represented in high numbers in the US.

Some babies learn to crawl at 6 months, some learn to walk at 9 months, some are 13 months. No, the numbers do not adequately take this into account at all.

I will freely admit I am not an LC- but I’m a mom and I’ve seen a MILLION kids (I also spent years overseas doing global health work in pediatrics)— mot everywhere else in the world, this kind of thing isn’t an issue UNLESS it is an issue. If your baby is eating and happy and nursing and meeting milestones, great. I wouldn’t give AF if baby is at 50th percentile or at 99th or 5th. As a mom, you know when your baby is doing great. You do NOT need to stop feeding your baby when your baby wants to eat unless it is for you- unless it becomes a situation of it not being sustainable for YOUR health and well-being (which is totally valid).

There are situations where babies will prefer breastmilk over solids, and if the baby becomes seriously underweight, or drops significantly in percentile (I’m talking like 50th percentile to 3rd percentile in a month or two), I think there’s something to be said for just keeping an eye out. But I wouldn’t personally make any changes without being seen by a pediatric dietician that works with breastfeeding moms.

During my peds fellowship, I was really lucky to work in a hospital where we had dieticians and lactation consultants as a regular part of our team- we rounded with them, we brought them in for consults, and in this kind of situation, that is who I would go to first. I have all the respect in the world for nurses, but this is out of their scope, frankly.

It sounds like the problem isn’t necessarily that your baby is nursing at night— but that your baby is having trouble with solids and that is valid. It can take some babies more time. There are some babies that might struggle with sensory issues or structural issues, and this is especially true for babies who were in the NICU or went through anything difficult when they were little. What you don’t want to do is miss a medical issue— a digestive problem, a swallowing issue, a metabolic disorder. Sometimes these can be harder to see until a baby is eating solids. This is where it becomes really important to see the right people- to make sure that your baby is otherwise healthy, and has just moved onto a different growth curve, which is completely valid. The numbers are taken into account because no one wants to miss a kid who has short gut syndrome or severe reflux, or has a vitamin deficiency due to a genetic disorder (there are the rare outliers).

I would seriously advise you to ask for a consult with a pediatric dietician who can help you work with where you are and maximize what your baby is eating during the day and maybe help you offer the right combination of foods. Its not just fats- which are GREAT- and you want a good proportion of them- but you also want proteins and iron-rich food sources, and fiber and vitamin-c— if you go too heavy on fats, it might fill them up before they get some of the other foods they need (like protein-dense foods and iron or vitamin C-rich foods which are also really important). Or it could just be that your baby is settling into a slower growth curve and there is NOTHING wrong at all.

Never feel pressured to wean, particularly before a year. Seek out other opinons and seek out experts in feeding. Sometimes that involves a team with a speech language pathologist (SLP) because they can be experts with feeding as well, but also a registered dietician who specializes in babies. It is game changing.

I’m so sorry for all of the stress you’re going through- just know that you are NOT doing anything wrong, listen to your instincts, but also be open to experts who might be able to help you find the best way to get your baby ideal nutrition while you continue to breastfeed. You’re doing great- trust your instincts— but don’t close the door on your medical team. That said- one person’s opinion ins NOT always the answer, especially when it is beyond their scope of practice.
 
@vigilant4christ379 Allllll this. My 8mo is only in the 3rd percentile, but he's my biggest baby. He was full term, he eats very well, and just happens to not be big. I myself have always been small. I'm 5 feet tall and the 157 I weigh now is the heaviest I've ever been outside of pregnancy. His dad was small and skinny until puberty.
 
@19nanny55 This is SO true! I’m tall now (5’8”)- but me and two of my cousins had like, diagnosable slow bone growth (they are both over 6’ now). Like I went into the 9th grade the SMALLEST person in my 1500 person school at like 4’7” and 72lbs. I doubled in size by the time I graduated (and I didn’t even get my period until I was 16). I was always on some shitty part of the growth curve, but was eating a ton, super athletic and healthy, I just grew differently. By contrast, my brother (who is now 6’5”) was the same size at 5 months as I was at 2 years old.

All of these things are why on the whole, growth curves are silly. EXCEPT when they can show a huge change and it can be the first signal that hey, we need to keep an eye on this or maybe we need to do some follow-up testing to make sure there’s nothing else going on. But I’ve treated a ton of failure to thrive babies- and in general, it is pretty obvious when a baby is unwell.

I value taking growth stats as part of a full work-up, but I think sometimes we fixate on them too much (my pediatrician doesn’t even tell us or show us growth charts, which I think is great)— if there’s an issue, they’ll let us know, otherwise there is a concerted effort not to make it into an issue when its not.
 
@amandak695 I night weaned around 10.5 months and it did not affect my supply. However, in your situation it sounds like you neither want to nor need to night wean. My first baby wasn't eating very many solids until she turned 1 and nobody ever said anything.
 
@jarhead247 I wholeheartedly agree with this comment. I’ve had one baby that wanted solids at 4 months; we waited until 5 months. I also have a baby at 7 months that has zero interest in solids. Each baby is different, and I can tell you that the only person who knows what’s best for your baby is you. Sometimes, we need pushes to change when it feels uncomfortable…(like leaving your baby with someone else when they are very small and you need a break or to go to work,) but you need to figure out who to listen to and when. Right now, her suggestion is okay. One of my babies would have needed this suggestion. My littlest baby will not follow this suggestion, because it’s not time for him. We do the best we can. Good luck; you’re doing a great job! 🥰
 
@amandak695 Keep nursing. Cutting nursing sessions in favor of solids is… not really up to date advice for an under one year old as far as I am aware. Our pediatrician and IBCLC agreed that until one, nursing was primary source of nutrition and solids important to expose them to but should not cut solids in favor of solids.

Is baby growing in height? Fwiw, my kid would take turns growing in height vs. weight and often stayed the same weight for a while while growing in height (and vice versa). She said it’s completely normal as long as there is growth.

If there is a weight concern, you could also try nursing MORE in case you need to bring up supply some.

My kid was slow to transition to solids and our pediatrician was never worried, always said to just keep nursing if that’s what was working for us. Never pushed night weaning either. And you are correct, for many people, night weaning can tank or impact supply, especially if it was adult driven. If kid just happens to stop waking it’s usually a different story.

All you can do is offer baby food and breastmilk. Pushing them to eat if they don’t want to can land you in oral aversion territory and that is NOT fun to get back out of.

We were advised to offer solids in the hour after a milk meal so as not to negatively impact milk intake. So there is that too 🤷‍♀️ My kid went on to use nursing as main source of nutrition into his second year and pediatrician said that’s fine as long as he was willingly exploring texture be flavor (in our case he was just struggling with teething a ton).

Is your baby teething? That can throw some kids for a loop big time.

A nurse is not a nursing expert not a pediatric dietitian. She is a generalist. Some of her advice may be good and some of her advice not. It’s ok to question and find an actual specialist who can give actual guidance if there is a true issue.
 
@andybrooks Agree with this! Solids at this age are not to replace breast milk. If you’re okay with the night nursing, no need to stop. If you wanted to reduce night nursing, I would try to get more ounces in during the day. Don’t give solids before breastmilk - do breastmilk first, then solids.
 
@amandak695 My girl ate a bunch of solids around 8-12 months then went back to almost only breastmilk until 16 months, then finally started eating consistently. It can change a lot! Withholding the food baby wants isn't going to make them eat more of what they don't want.

I think your theory about moving around more is pretty likely. My girl plateaued for a couple months when she started crawling, then she started nursing more at night and shot up in percentiles again.

Plus the advice doesn't make sense for your milk supply. Nursing at night is a great way to support/boost milk supply. If there are weight or supply concerns that's one of the first places to start tweaking.

I wouldn't worry too much for a couple months, if it were me.
 
@amandak695 Breastmilk should be your baby’s primary source of nutrition for the first year, so I would just ignore that advice! Keep breastfeeding your baby.

As for solids, we’ve been following Solid Starts! Their Instagram and website is extremely helpful. I hope this helps.
 
@amandak695 My 8 month old baby eats very little during the day and doesn’t breastfeed for very long. He wakes up 2-3 times during the night to breastfeed and he really consumes a lot at those times.

His pediatrician acted like it’s odd that he still nurses so much at night. He’s a very small boy with slow but steady weight gain so I really don’t care when he eats as long as he’s eating.

If a nurse told me to night wean I would ignore that advice.
 
@faryna I think maybe majority of babies take formula so maybe pediatricians don’t know as much about EBF babies? From everyone I’ve talked to nursing at night typically doesn’t go away til at least 18 months unless it’s onnpurpose
 
@amandak695 Nurse's advice is odd. Unless there is a physical or developmental problem, your baby will start eating solids on their own time. Ours is a bit older and she is only slowly starting to eat more solids. Things that are a hit one day can be a miss the next.
 
@amandak695 They say food before one is just for fun. He’s getting his nutrients from breastmilk. He will come around to food as he grows. I would take this nurse’s advice with a grain of salt (I personally would just ignore it)
 
@lonnie159 “Food before one is just for fun” is a myth. Infants need iron rich foods starting at 6 months as this is when the iron stores they are born with are running out. However at 7 months the majority of nutrition does still come from milk/formula. By 12 months it’s about 50-50 from solids and milk/formula.
 
@thomasw59 Yes! Iron is not passed well through milk nor is vitamin D so doing things like baby cereal and greens is important, however, you can also do a baby vitamin if you feel like baby isn’t into food yet.
 
@meganh Unfortunately baby cereal is not a good source of quality or bioavailable iron, nor are greens. Best sources are meats (heme iron), as babies eat such a small about, they require what is offered to be super nutrient dense.
 
@jesussaves777 Fortified infant cereal is a convenient iron source and definitely fine to offer daily. Baby will still absorb the iron, just not as efficiently as heme iron. It helps to serve with vitamin C rich foods ex rolling soft pieces of fruit in it or mashing them into the cereal.

Iron rich foods should be offered throughout the day so you can offer both heme and non heme sources at different meals.
 
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