reflectionsbythewater
New member
Last year, I gained full legal custody of my nephew along with my father. Prior to that, my stepmother was his sole legal guardian since he was three, but unfortunately, she passed two years ago. I have been an active part o his life for as long, I would buy him clothes/food/school supplies, I would come and help him with his homework, and I would pick him up from school and watch him.
I work full time, my father is "retired". And so, he usually walks him to/from school, and we are supposed to share the responsibilities of helping him with his homework. However, half of the time I'm the one helping him with all of his homework because my dad is too busy eating/listening to music/just doesn't "feel like doing it". Sometimes, or most of the time, he can't figure out how to do it and throws man tantrums.
He also refuses to teach him any valuable/basic life skills. My parents are divorced. I was raised by a mom who was bipolar and he had no active part in raising me. At twelve, I was washing my own clothes, making my own food, walking to/from school, etc. My nephew can't even turn the shower on, and when I point out he needs to learn these very sic things (maybe not so much doing laundry), he throws boy tantrums and tells me that he's "lazy" and his "Papa" does all of these things for him.
He also undermines EVERY attempt I've made so far to discipline my nephew. Recent incidents include him breaking the screen on my laptop. I told him he was banned from it and I hid it since you couldn't even touch it without the cracking getting worse. I came home the next day to him playing on it, saying my dad gave it to him. He broke my wireless headset. I banned him from my games Again, and the next day, he was on my PlayStation. Playing GTA5. He also lets him play. One o the biggest incidents was him saying the n--a' work at lunch at school. I had to ask him where he heard it (GTA, of course), I then gave him an exclamation of why he couldn't say it, but they could (very watered-down explanation of reclamation of the word, and its effect/hurt when white people use it). I also forbid him from playing GTA for the unforeseeable future, said he wasn't allowed on my games, or my phone, and told my dad he needed time off of his computer/tablet. Sure enough, he was on his computer that night.
My nephew is in fifth grade, we're selecting middle schools. We lie a five-minute walk from a middle school. My sister went to this school after my mom kicked her out at 12/13. She had near-perfect grades when she left that school versus the near-abysmal GPA she had coming in. My father wants him to go to a middle school that is a half hour DRIVE. My stepbrother and stepsister (nephew's mother) went to this school. They both did poorly, they ditched frequently, and my stepsister entered a tutoring program there where she was groomed/possibly SA'd by the father of one of the students she was tutoring. His whole reasoning for sending my nephew to this school is because "the school is mostly white and in a white neighborhood" (both of which are not true but pop off sis), and if he went to the other school, he would be "the minority". My nephew, by the way, is biracial.
Is there anything I can do with this, at least?
I work full time, my father is "retired". And so, he usually walks him to/from school, and we are supposed to share the responsibilities of helping him with his homework. However, half of the time I'm the one helping him with all of his homework because my dad is too busy eating/listening to music/just doesn't "feel like doing it". Sometimes, or most of the time, he can't figure out how to do it and throws man tantrums.
He also refuses to teach him any valuable/basic life skills. My parents are divorced. I was raised by a mom who was bipolar and he had no active part in raising me. At twelve, I was washing my own clothes, making my own food, walking to/from school, etc. My nephew can't even turn the shower on, and when I point out he needs to learn these very sic things (maybe not so much doing laundry), he throws boy tantrums and tells me that he's "lazy" and his "Papa" does all of these things for him.
He also undermines EVERY attempt I've made so far to discipline my nephew. Recent incidents include him breaking the screen on my laptop. I told him he was banned from it and I hid it since you couldn't even touch it without the cracking getting worse. I came home the next day to him playing on it, saying my dad gave it to him. He broke my wireless headset. I banned him from my games Again, and the next day, he was on my PlayStation. Playing GTA5. He also lets him play. One o the biggest incidents was him saying the n--a' work at lunch at school. I had to ask him where he heard it (GTA, of course), I then gave him an exclamation of why he couldn't say it, but they could (very watered-down explanation of reclamation of the word, and its effect/hurt when white people use it). I also forbid him from playing GTA for the unforeseeable future, said he wasn't allowed on my games, or my phone, and told my dad he needed time off of his computer/tablet. Sure enough, he was on his computer that night.
My nephew is in fifth grade, we're selecting middle schools. We lie a five-minute walk from a middle school. My sister went to this school after my mom kicked her out at 12/13. She had near-perfect grades when she left that school versus the near-abysmal GPA she had coming in. My father wants him to go to a middle school that is a half hour DRIVE. My stepbrother and stepsister (nephew's mother) went to this school. They both did poorly, they ditched frequently, and my stepsister entered a tutoring program there where she was groomed/possibly SA'd by the father of one of the students she was tutoring. His whole reasoning for sending my nephew to this school is because "the school is mostly white and in a white neighborhood" (both of which are not true but pop off sis), and if he went to the other school, he would be "the minority". My nephew, by the way, is biracial.
Is there anything I can do with this, at least?