@greetgreew i absolutely dont want unsolicited advice from family. i want to figure out how to be a parent by trusting instincts and learning from parenting classes and my doctor etc because the unsolicited advice i have been given by family isnt safe for my baby.
unfortunately with my fil being so headstrong and stubborn, my husband hasnt found his voice to stand up to him just yet but i have a feeling that voice will appear the moment we meet our son.
i however have found my voice at a young age and some find that when i say word for word “can you please stop because i find it disrespectful and rude” they find it as me having an attitude problem. i think thats cause they aren’t used to having someone actually set and enforce boundaries.
@mogulmama I always see stories about grandparents with a lot of feelings about what their kids are naming their grandchildren and honestly the audacity of it all is wild.
I'd just start calling your FIL by a different name. "I'm going to call you John since I hate your real name and hopefully it'll help me love you more." Grandparents' rabies really needs a cure
@mogulmama In-laws hate the name we picked out too especially the middle name , we chose to give our baby coming in November the same middle name as my mothers middle name she recently passed away in June ,middle name is Selina. They both hated it and had all these unsolicited opinions about it , they said “that’s different “ ,they asked my boyfriend “why would you use a first name as a middle name ?we don’t like it” Uhm ? Aren’t most middle names out there already used as first names ? Common middle names like grace , marie , anne etc can all be used as first names . After telling them it was my moms middle name they shut up about it but I can tell they still hate it lol .
your inlaws sound horrible and im sorry you’re going through that
selina is a beautiful middle name and congratulations on having a baby girl in november, a bun in the oven (literally, if shes born on thanksgiving lol)
luckily my mil is on my side and agrees my fil is being rude and it was quite comforting talking to her and reading all the comments on this post, to know that im not alone and my feelings are valid
@mogulmama Thank you funny enough MIL’s own mothers first name was given to their other granddaughter as her middle name which is grace lol . The double standard is insane , and I’m glad your MIL is being supportive, ignore everyone else’s dumb opinions, that’s all we can do .
@mogulmama My mother hated the boy name we'd chosen for our second, and I do mean hated. Never lost an opportunity to try to convince us to change our minds, kept telling me how much she hated it, what a terrible name it was, etc. etc. Finally I told her that this was our child and not hers, and that she'd already had the opportunity to choose names for three kids of her own and to back off already. Fortunately that worked and she quieted down, and then baby was a girl anyways.
The entitlement being displayed is incredibly frustrating and you're not wrong to feel upset by it.
@mogulmama I'd say fine, Well name him what you want (or ok..enough already or whatever. Then when baby is born I'd name it whatever it was that I was going to call it.
@mogulmama In fairness the idea that a person with zero experience should wholesale reject any offered parenting knowledge is insane to me given how bad a lot of parents are, and I say this as a brand new parent. It’s the only thing in the world where complete novices are told they know best.
That said the name you gave is fantastic. It’s not like you named him Caden or Khaydynn
@mogulmama Yeah your baby isn’t going to love him more than you because your baby is going to see through all of his self-centered bullshit. What an insane thing to say to your son and his wife. Ugh.
Your husband has had this dude as a dad his whole life. I imagine this current bs didn’t just come out of nowhere. How is your husband handling it? Does he see how toxic his dad’s behavior is?
@mogulmama My great grandmother did this to me and a couple of her other grandchildren. We don’t even have weird names or anything crazy lol she will only use super traditional names though. Everyone was too old fashioned respectful to say no. Soo a bunch of my cousins and I grew up with two names, and different people only knew us by one or the other sometimes. Now she has passed, and most of us have stuck with the names of parents gave us, but you still hear the other name occasionally.
@mogulmama Have you heard of the "gray rock method"? It's basically a way to shut people down. Google it and maybe try it! It has helped me with my manipulative MIL. This dude doesn't deserve your engagement on this issue- he has no voice in it. Congrats on the baby!
@mogulmama Tell your FIL he can call your kids whatever he wants but there will be repercussions up to and including not seeing his grandkids until he learns to respect their parents and your choices for your children.
@mogulmama Both in-laws and my parents hated the name of our first born (ironically is a family name) and said they’d not call him that. It’s been many years and of course they call the kid by their given name, however, I’ve never gotten over the pain and hurt they caused. Selfish people.
@mogulmama If he wants to name a baby then he can have his own. Name your kids what you want and ignore what other people say, everyone will have opinions and I regretted telling people our name options with our first baby that we didn’t tell a single person with our 2nd baby until after she was born.
funny enough MIL’s own mothers first name was given to their other granddaughter as her middle name which is grace lol 
. The double standard is insane , and I’m glad your MIL is being supportive, ignore everyone else’s dumb opinions, that’s all we can do .
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