My mom died, I inherited her shares to the family company and my uncle says I’m not ready to lead after 13 years of hard work

journierman

New member
The background of it: My mom and her sisters own/owned a corporation. An inheritance from their father. My mom was the CEO and was the only owner actually working there. By way of the most tragic car accident last month, I now own my mother’s 1/3 of company and I control legally in perpetuity my eldest aunt’s shares as she has advanced dementia.

I’ve worked for the family corporation for over 13 years and have been actively training to take over for my mom when she retired. I’m 40, my mom was 65.

My uncle who is married to my mom’s middle sister has worked there since 1978 (with a 5 year-ish hiatus when he worked for a competitor as he was fired by my grandfather for taking suspected kickbacks). Upon his return, my grandfather (his father-in-law) began his fight with dementia and my uncle began to run the company (albeit poorly). The things he still doesn’t understand about our product is mind boggling.

On the brink of bankruptcy, my mom came in and took the company over with the backing of her eldest sister. She knew nothing of the company and learned as quick as possible. She fought hard for the respect of the employees which are 90% men. My mom was 42 at the time with 0 business experience. She saved the company and led it to its best years ever.

Fast forward 10 years, I go to work for the family company, go get my MBA per my mom’s prompting while working full time, and learn as much as I can as I was her retirement/succession plan. Unfortunately my mom never got her retirement and died tragically in a car accident. My dad survived the accident thankfully but is still healing.

So I control 2/3 of the company shares, while owning a 1/3. The writing is on the wall that I would move into her position. Additionally, the employees are telling me they hope I take over for my mom. It’s not been a secret that I was the one in line. Absolutely, never a secret.

So I return to work. I bring up we need to announce and finalize my move into CEO soon. My uncle acts confused and then tells me that I’m not ready. He was 43 when he stepped into lead with 16 years of “experience” if we ignore the years he was gone. 11/12 years if we don’t ignore them. He also has gotten us sued and laughs about how he doesn’t read legal documents. People openly consider him incompetent. I wish I was lying, but we have customers who ask for him to leave meetings because he sleeps. He’s also 72.

I guess he thought he would get to lead again. I’m just shocked. I’m not 100% surprised as death brings out the worst in some. But here I am, holding 2/3 shares and I’m questioning myself. Over 13 years of hard work, all this heartbreaking loss of losing my mom whom I loved dearly and he’s making it like I have bad timing and am choosing this.

I keep thinking — what if I told him he wasn’t ready? He would be offended. But he didn’t care about saying that to me.

He also made it like he had to step up because of the condition of my grandfather but doesn’t see my situation as similar, when my mom is literally gone.

The only silver lining is my coworker’s kind support, the years of people telling my mom to retire, that DearMarionberry can handle it. Ugh, but the doubt is really throwing me for a loop.

He also cleaned out my mom’s office without asking. Coworkers called me crying about them taking down her personal family photos while I was working on funeral arrangements. He also moved his chair to her position at the board room table. They sat at each heads/ends of the table. I’m not sure why his end wasn’t good enough. It feels yucky.

I really hate this.
 
@journierman You are in the middle of grief and impostor syndrome. But it sounds like your uncle is the impostor. Do NOT let him walk all over you. Your mom believed in you, the employees believe in you, and your uncle seems like an absolute fraudster way past when he should have retired.

Exercise your power and take on the role you were being prepped for and everyone except for one man (who poorly performed in the role) thinks you should have!

And I’m very very sorry for your loss.
 
@cocoon87 Agree!

Firstly, I’m so sorry you’re in this position at all. Sending so much love and light your way.

Secondly, you want to be the boss? Be the boss. Make the moves, if you have a board, go to them to start the process. Why is he there? Does he have shares? Announce your role and put him in line. Start issuing warnings when he acts out. I’d also have “his chair” moved or removed entirely.
 
@journierman I’m so sorry about the loss of your mom. That is too young for her to be stolen from you. It sounds like you’ll be a great CEO. Don’t let your uncle gaslight you into thinking you haven’t earned it. Solidarity sister. I believe in you!
 
@journierman Time for your uncle to retire. Make sure it's legal.

Edit: I'd offer him either retirement with a generous severance or an RO. Show no tolerance for his behavior and his belief that he can bully you out of a postion that you've been groomed for.

He has already crossed the line by tampering with your mother's office and rearranging the furniture.

Edit 2: find a way to buy shares back from his wife-- assume your aunt is the third shareholder. If I read right this fool isn't even in your immediate family that started the business he's just a dude that married into something and feels like he's entitled to it. He behaves the way he does beucase your aunt set the precedence for his pattern.
 
@journierman What is your uncle’s role at the company, and why does he still have a job there? Regardless of his role, it sounds like anyone can move chairs around. There is no reason you can’t promptly move his back and say, oh we noticed that someone moved things around, and of course no one will be sitting in my mother’s place until the official announcement of the new structure.

If you are capable of making the hard and strategic decisions that a CEO must be capable of, then you are capable of dealing with an individual who has little if any actual legal or moral power in this situation. Your first test and responsibility. I’m just so sorry that it happened so suddenly and for your loss of an amazing woman 😞
 
@imran520 This is exactly what I came to say. Get rid of him. He makes your company look bad and if you move into CEO position, and he remains, he will actively work against you.
 
@imran520 Yes. The uncle is throwing a man-baby fit because he knows he no longer has control. The OP has control of the company, barring some special rights share structure that we are not informed about. All he the uncle has is the ability to manipulate OP and destroy their confidence, and he is not ashamed to use it.

OP, lawyer up. You need a full review of your company's operating agreement and board structure. You also need to remove your uncle's IT and administrative authorities immediately before he resorts to fraud or sabotage to secure what little power he still has.
 
@journierman You are ready, and you own the majority shares. You’ve got this. Don’t let an old grump get in your way - time to start making “time to retire” statements in front of everyone during his meeting naptime.
 
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