I’ll start by saying this- I’m not fat. Not even close. So why did him referring to my “squishy belly” as “fat” make me so sad?
Not entirely sure where this post is going… but gosh, this kid (5) has come up with some really hurtful statements these past few months. These are things we definitely don’t say in our home or use to describe others. We’re an inclusive home… I read my kid the right books, talk about foods the right way, follow all the “best” practices… and for what? My kid to go to two months of summer camp and learn to stay things like- “your fat” “you’re weird” “I hate you” “I hope you die” … like WHAT THE F**K!
Sigh.
Props to me though for using his moment of anger and attempt to hurt me to remind him that all bodies are good bodies even if they look different than his? Hope he took something from it.
Thanks for reading! I feel a tad bit better, albeit still feeling lost in the whole how to raise good humans in a shitty world realm.
@jesuschrist4life Those things I don't mind, because they have no idea that it's an insult, and it's not intended to be mean. I also dont mind when my kid says things like "i dont like you/go away/i hate you/i dont love you" etc when he is having a hard time or he prefers dad or he doesn't like my answer. It's not true, he's just not sure how to deal with his frustrations yet.
I think OPs issue is their child has been exposed to kids using those words indenting to hurt/be mean, for the sake of hurting and being mean (not just when having a hard time). Those would be the things I would struggle with.
@solidengr My almost 3yo says “WOAH - look at moms BIG BELLY” and after holding back a snotty reply I say something like “yep, it’s full of food and helps me be strong!”
It does not lessen the sting, but we’re trying to break some negative self image cycles over here
@solidengr When my kid was 4 (just a few months ago) she told me she wants a big bum, and when I asked why, she said so she could have a big bum like me. She has also called my tummy squishy, soft, round. They don’t know the implications of what they are saying. I’m an adult, of course my bum looks big to her. And my tummy is soft because at that age most things, like soft and hard, are binary.
I just say we shouldn’t comment on people’s bodies, but she thinks she’s giving a compliment! Rest assured you aren’t alone.
@solidengr My two year old saw me in my sports bra and leggings the other day. I had twins 10 months ago and still have a Belly. Maybe it’s fat, maybe it’s diastasis recti. Idk. I definitely could look about 3-4 months pregnant. She came over to me, pointed to my tummy, and said “baby in there?” Lol. It stung but I was like ya know what, no baby, there are no more babies in there…
@eternity75 At the very beginning of my twin pregnancy when I had a lot of bloat and early weight gain going on, my 4 yo asks “but if the babies are the size of blueberries, why is your belly so big?” Thanks, kid.
@solidengr My teenager accidentally called me fat a couple of days ago and I am still reeling. She walked it back but damn if it wasn’t a knife to the heart. I don’t know that I have ever felt so defeated. I am overweight but I guess I had fooled myself into thinking I was hiding it well.
@solidengr At that age, it doesn't hurt me AT. ALL. he is young and navigating language and social cues and doesn't understand what it means to hurt someone with words, let alone associate "squishy belly" with being a negative thing.
