Another kid at my step son’s school called him a Ching Chong, what would you do?

[thomas222]

@thecabinetbarn WTF does "ching chong " mean? Never heard of it. Does it mean something nasty?

 

[katrina2017]

@thecabinetbarn Yeah I don’t know what to feel or think. Back in school people just kid and joked about racial stuff. Now seems more serious and like they’re actually racist. That’s just really messed up that your kid has to go through that.

 

[sheenagreen21]

@thecabinetbarn do you know how chinese parents name their children? they throw silverware down the stairs. ching chong. joke as old as time. i love asian people but we can make jokes man.

 

[bluze]

@thecabinetbarn Kids are mean. Nothing new. That was true a millenia ago. But they also grow up. ...mostly.
Its a window of time that will change. I would preach patience. And the odd comment once in a while is not everyone all the time. Isn't there someone who is kind to him? Bring that up when someone is not.

 

[shardvex4christ]

@thecabinetbarn I teach my kids to say Ching Chong bing bong because its funny. and if they wear their identity like armor, it won't hurt later on. poking fun of difference is natural kid activities and not necessarily out of hate.

 

[misschildfree1970]

@thecabinetbarn Lol, what? Why would he be punished even more? Seems like you need to teach your kid to develop a thicker skin, but also not engage in racist vitriol.

 

[thecabinetbarn]

@misschildfree1970 I think I wasn’t clear in my post, please see the edit.

 

[zafiroska]

@thecabinetbarn Homeschool

 

[zafiroska]

Lol why tf would this get down voted so hard? Because you don't homeschool? Bullying is one of the many many reasons some parents homeschool. Disagree if that's your position, but don't be hatin.

 

[kayjay2000]

@thecabinetbarn Punishment fit the crime, just an ignorant kid.

Do you want him waterboarded ?

 

[thecabinetbarn]

@kayjay2000 No, just asking for advice on dealing talking with my son about racism. Im white and have never faced discrimination and frankly am not the most emotionally intelligent. I really like the advice I see on this sub for others so wanted to get some opinions here.

 

[kayjay2000]

@thecabinetbarn Fair!

 

[robster1981]

@thecabinetbarn Honestly? I'd advocate for the child to be in school. Clearly the student didn't come up with that language and it was learned from their parents/guardians. They could use exposure to a more supportive environment. I've always thought it odd that the punishment in school for bad behaviour is just to eliminate the last remaining environment that might teach them to be better. That's a reward, not a punishment.

All you can do within your own family is discuss ignorance and hate. It's okay to talk about that at any age and reassure your loved one that it has nothing to do with them as a person but the one using slurs. It's okay and natural to be offended, hurt, or confused by someone's words, though, and you're always there for comfort/reassurance, and want to hear about their days -- good or bad. Words if they stay words, ultimately, are just that. Bullying feels like a lifetime as a kid but the reality is it's rarely that long in the grand scheme of things.

Ask them how they handled it. Tell them you're proud of them if it's not aggressive. Ask them how they feel. Support that.

 

[tobymacfanz]

@thecabinetbarn It seems like the kid has already faced consequences. If there's no ongoing bullying, your best approach is talking to your kid and explaining that another kid's thoughtless comment doesn't define their value.

I can relate: my name is common in the Middle East and 9/11 happened when I was in 4th grade. You can imagine the names I got called.

Also, there's a chance they might become friends, given how kids at that age can be immature.

 

[mh1]

@thecabinetbarn Maybe I'm dumb or from another country but what's is a ching chong?

 

[superjohn112]

@thecabinetbarn Talk to your kid and try to instill confidence and to not let it mean more.

If he lets the words hurt him, the bully will see that and keep doing it because he got a reaction.

If the bully calls him Ching Chong and your kid doesn’t care the bully will get bored and move on to another target

 

[day2daygirl]

@thecabinetbarn He has to speak up I believe , have him educate the other child while the situation is still fresh

 

[thebridge]

@thecabinetbarn You can’t teach other kids, they aren’t your responsibility. However, you can use this as a big teachable moment for your step son about tolerance, forgiveness and ignorance.

 

[bereanseeker]

@thecabinetbarn Tell him to call him a Ding Dong back.

Fight fire with fire. Explain there are proper insults, and improper/racist insults - be the family that throws out the proper ones.. like Ding Dong.

 

[katrina2017]

@thecabinetbarn Hey that’s a tough one but you should remind your step son that unfortunately some people in this world aren’t kind and unfortunately racist.

I think it’s really important that you remind him that where he comes from is important and try to reinforce what it means to be his background. I grew up and dealt with racism and honestly still do as an adult but one thing that helped me as a kid was having my older siblings and parents reminding me to be proud of who we are and where we came from.