My bf broke my heart last night… gutted this NYE

@jack54 I canceled his ticket to be able to use the credit at a later date. I’m feeling really dumb now. I was just trying to recoup any loss. But also to be fair. I don’t know I could get the car seat, stroller, pump and diaper bag to the gate on my own. Would prob check the car seat regardless
 
@jezza Yeah I did it a few times with my Lo and baby wearing helps. The infant seat was easier with it clipping into the stroller. When I had a convertible I got a Diono just because I could fold it and wear it as a backpack. It was heavy though.

Do you need the pump? If baby nurses consistently, I would probably not bring it and just nurse. Or maybe bring a small hand one. But if baby prefers bottles bring for sure
 
@jezza You can def do this solo. One piece of advice I’ll give is don’t do it with a victim mentality. Your bf didn’t do this to you, you chose to fly solo with babe because you know the inconvenience is minor compared to the great visit you will have. This will help you feel more empowered, both on the flight and in life afterwards.
 
@jezza I have just completed a 7 day journey across the entire US with a 13mo baby, by myself. I didn’t want to take the flight because I was afraid. Taking into account every step of the process, I think it would have maybe been easier. I didn’t need half the crap I thought I would and really a few hours of yelling probably would have been more tolerable than a few hours every day for a whole week. 😵‍💫

Take the flight. Take your baby. Take the break. This is my baby’s first trip away from home and the first time he has gotten to meet my family and friends. It was really hard at some points, but all worth it to see all the people I love meet him and him interact with them. We just finally arrived today and it feels amazing to be here.

Your bf is an asshole, wtf for real, let him keep his emotional issues at home and regret being an idiot who throws away precious moments with his baby.

Absolutely make him help you get to the airport and your stuff checked in. Definitely take all the advice you can from anyone who has it to give as far as traveling with a little person. You can do it, the hard will end and it’ll be so wonderful to see your child and family together that you’ll forget the hurt and stress for a while. It will be worth it!!! You got this, you can do it, you’ve been doing it already! Keep being the rock and rolling for yourself and your baby!
 
@jezza I'm sorry you're going through this after holding the family together. Honestly, I don't know how you'll both recover from this but I think being with family should give you support and clarity. If you come back and he's unwilling to help himself (and you guys) well you have your answer.
 
@jezza I’m so sorry. Carrying the whole load is hard. Doing it when there’s been an expectation of help is extra hard.
No advise RE the man. I chose to solo parent because I cannot bear to be let down (that’s a whole other convo).
When my daughter was 11 months I flew from Perth Australia to Dublin Ireland. My 11 month old daughter had no seat. It was 2 very long flights and 3 airports. It was shit but doable. You can do it. Load up the airport trolly. Bring a billion snacks. Bring snacks for you coz eating a meal when you’re holding a baby is actually impossible. Cuddle your baby a lot. Because they are the reason , the good reason why you’re pushing through and doing something that’s so hard. Be the rock for someone who deserves it ~ your kid.
Personally I’d bin the man. But that’s a decision for you and you alone.
Good luck.
You can and will do it. And you’ll be damn proud of yourself once you do.
 
@jezza Go, please go. I'm in the same boat tonight, right down to having my beautiful 11 month old beside me, and my god don't I wish that I could take my baby and go stay with family far away, even if it meant figuring out how to get there alone. Don't let anyone ever make you think you're not capable. You are capable of whatever the F you need to, in order to care for yourself and your child. You can do this, OP.
 
@jezza My lady. Go on the flight and go be with the people who love and appreciate you.

You can do it! Pack light. Essentials. Diapers, water, something the baby can drink or suck on for the ear pain. Breastfeed like no shame if ur a BFer! YOU CAN DO IT!

Dont be afraid to throw out that luggage aka ex bf. Baby needs a happy primary parent. Dont let the man drag you down into the low!!

Believe in yourself. You deserve better than this. Your family and baby love you!!!! Be strong!!!!
 
@jezza I went Australia-NZ at the beginning of 2023 which was like the practice run for the NZ-Czech republic (stopping Guangzhou, Singapore, Dubai) mid-year. My partner had down ahead to set some stuff up for us. You're gonna be great. You've got helpful family at the other end, and I promise people will help you along the way. If you haven't prebooked bulkhead seats, push for them when you get there. It's more comfortable. You're partner has let you down. Women don't get a bunch of lee way to take a 'break' from their family whenever they feel depressed. Bugger him. Leave him in your dust. If he's half smart, he'll pull his socks up when you get back. Don't let your trip be ruined with a bunch of daily sooky phone calls from this self-centered dude either. Keep it to text and keep it short and sweet and tell him any conversation is happening when you get back. And if you don't hear from him while you're gone, tell him to clear out before you get back.
 
@truthseeker78 I’ve requested to go low contact during the break. I don’t want to have him on the mind more so than he’ll be and if he needs a break… YOU GOT IT. He’ll hear nothing from me
 
@jezza He crossed a boundary that should have never been crossed. Deep down you know this abrupt decision also means bad intentions - not that he just needs a “break” I’m sorry you have to go through this. I hope you can navigate through it and be happier 💛
 
@jezza I know everyone is attacking him ... there is a but though

Less than a month ago, he sustained a concussion. It takes years to heal from one. The more active you are in the initial post-concusaion phase, the longer it takes.

For your relationship and his health to thrive, somethings gotta give. I agree with him not going on the trip. Concussions really impact mood, like you don't feel quite right... so that explains why he just abruptly said he wasn't going. His ability to reason isn't as strong as it usually is. I think he should defer his masters program too. I say that as someone who received 2 concussions within a month of each other and then went on to do a very intense undergrad. It was horrible and if I could go back in time, I would take a year off to heal. It took me 7 years before I felt normal again and I'll always wonder how different things would have been if I slowed down.

If I were in your shoes, I would be so let down and upset. How dare he drop this on you the day before you leave! ...but given my own healing post-concussion, I have a little empathy. Going on the flight would be so hard on him and may delay healing in the long run. He would be more of a burden. At home, sleeping, is what he should be doing. He has the opportunity to be undisturbed for a few days and I encourage it. You'll be surrounded by your entire family.

Edit to add: (I'm breastfeeding so now I'm sitting and snooping through past posts) ... yeah OP, I see where you're coming from now after reading your post about a certain ex. I'm sorry.
 
@lisaklein20 He’s depressed. Been battling it since baby is 1 month old. Had 3 mental breakdowns this year, doesn’t know what happiness really means etc. he started therapy when all this started last year. Can’t say it’s helped much. He really needs anti depressants. I can’t force him tho
 
@jezza Did he define what a "break" means to him? Does it involve seeing other people? Or is it just time to think. I think this is very important to clear up in advance and let him know if he sees anyone else during this "break", you're 100% out.
 
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