My baby is 3.5 months old and will not feed. I’m losing my mind

[whiteybeefcake]

Since birth he has been a fussy drinker. He wouldn’t latch and I have flat nipples. We tried shields, saw 2 lactation consultants, had his lip tie and tong tie released, but still ended up bottle feeding. Fine I’m cool with that. But the volumes he drinks have always been incredibly low. He dropped from 46th percentile at birth to 10th.

Our doctor has tried 3 different reflux meds. I’m not convinced they’re doing anything. Every time we start a feed he screams and cries and often drinks nothing. We’ve tried Rowena Bennett’s bottle feeding aversion program and that worked for a little bit but then he relapsed and just does not want to feed.

The last 3 days he’s averaged 450ml. His pediatrician wants us to get him to 680ml at minimum per day. He hasn’t had a day where he’s gotten to 600 in 2 weeks. I’m ready to scream and pull my hair out. He’s clearly hungry because he’s eating his fists all the time but he won’t drink when we offer him the bottle. We’ve also tried 4 different types of bottles and all different nipple flows.

Please someone tell me you’ve been though this and it gets better. We have an appointment with an occupational therapist next week but I’m wondering when I should seriously consider taking him to the hospital.

 

[sarabearaz]

@whiteybeefcake I’m sorry, it’s so hard to go through. My first baby refused to feed and we tried everything. Her GI physician ended up recommending concentrating her feeds which kept her weight stable. She had dropped from the 80th to 20th percentile. We just made sure she had wet diapers so that she wasn’t getting dehydrated. She started feeding better once she was sitting up and eating solids. Now she’s a healthy toddler. Hopefully, it will get better once he’s eating solids.

Wanted to add that you should take him to the hospital if he’s not making enough wet diapers (I think it’s at least 5 a day) or if there is any change in his mental status, as in he’s more lethargic, hard to wake up etc)

 

[whiteybeefcake]

@sarabearaz Yeah we’re currently fortifying his formula to 27cal. Did your daughter rise in percentiles after starting solids? Did she have trouble eating solids at the start or did she just take to them?

 

[sarabearaz]

@whiteybeefcake Yeah she did really well with solids and went from the 20th to 40th percentile even after we stopped concentrating her formula. I think being able to sit up was what helped her digestive tract the most.

 

[whiteybeefcake]

@sarabearaz Thanks for the hope!

 

[geraldo944]

@whiteybeefcake We have been seeing SLP for feeding for the last couple months. Its a gamechanger for our little one getting enough food in. See the therapist, go with their reccomendations.

Fwiw our GP was against fortification; he indicated that in his experience it caused more tummy upset/reflux and ultimately caused the babies to get less calories. This might be worth discussing with your GP.

It did take us a bit to find a formula that didn’t make his tummy sad, so definitely checkin with your doc for that— they can also send you to a pediatric dietitian who can help identify the best formula

 

[whiteybeefcake]

@geraldo944 Thanks for the info. I’ll ask my doctor about occupational therapist vs SPL. He seems to be keeping the fortified stuff down ok but yeah I’m curious if it’s causing more problems than it’s fixing.

 

[johnredeemed103]

@whiteybeefcake In our experience high calorie formula was causing projectile vomiting. We had such a bad experience we had to stop it (developed over a month or so)

 

[rhemajoy]

@whiteybeefcake We had some success with syringe feeding our daughter but it’s a long winded process. Maybe you can start him on solids at 4 months? I know they can recommend starting solids early for some babies with feeding issues.

 

[whiteybeefcake]

@rhemajoy Our next appointment is at 4 months. I’ll ask our pediatrician if we can get the green light then. Thanks for the suggestion!

 

[funmilayo]

@whiteybeefcake I would second this recommendation. My first was also incredibly hard to feed, could not breastfeed, would only accept one specific bottle, preferred his pacifier to eating, mild feeding aversion, would only eat while sleeping at some points… and he LOVED solids. We started him at 4 months (that’s the blanket recommendation here in Norway) and it was amazing. I recommend making purées yourself so that instead of adding water to make them a good texture, you can add formula. My son never had issues eating solids and is now a super healthy 3 year old who will eat almost anything. I hope your baby likes solids too, feeding issues are so stressful.

 

[whiteybeefcake]

@funmilayo Thank you! This gives me so much hope

 

[nikki225]

@whiteybeefcake I started solids at 4 months with both my kids and it was amazing both times. My first just wasn't a fan of bottles and was dropping percentiles. I added cereal and purees and she was immediately gaining weight, sleeping better, crushing developmental milestones, it was amazing. (My second was the opposite, he was a fat hungry baby who wasn't satisfied with over 40 oz a day.)

They were both typical toddlers who survived off chicken nuggets and crackers lol. My oldest is 6 and is starting to eat normally now.

 

[christnme]

@whiteybeefcake If there really is a struggle, go to the hospital. My daughter went through all the bottles, formulas and acid reflux meds. She has silent aspiration- which is a swallowing issue. I would have never known if it weren’t for the fluoroscopy test at the hospital. Feeding is all really more frustrating than it should be. If all the other things don’t work that are mentioned here and by your pediatrician, and the babe is not having 4 wet diapers a day or gaining weight, take them in.

 

[whiteybeefcake]

@christnme Thanks for replying! How did you help your daughter once you figured out it was silent aspiration?

 

[christnme]

@whiteybeefcake NG tube and occupational therapy and speech pathology (they help with swallowing as well) in the meantime.

 

[runge12]

@whiteybeefcake Could be a bottle feeding aversion could just be he doesn’t meed much. Sucking on fists isn’t always hunger they discover fists at 12 weeks. Could be signs of early teething. Sucking on the bottle hurts if you’re teething. Solidarity OP we are going through something similar. Our LO eats 600 or less most days. Could be growth spurt too. They eat less and sleep more when growing. are you and partner thin? Sometimes it’s genetic too.

 

[2b4gotn]

@whiteybeefcake Does your baby have a cows milk protein allergy?

 

[whiteybeefcake]

@2b4gotn No the paediatrician doesn’t think so. We tried nutrimagen but he started vomiting more frequently and now we’re on nestle good start sooth and that seems fine so far.

 

[pge]

@whiteybeefcake I would have his stool tested. My youngest had similar symptoms and he had blood in his stool that wasn’t visible to the eye. I was told it was “normal” for babies to fuss.