My baby can’t sleep without my nipple in her mouth and I’m losing my sanity

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markeita

New member
Her sleep was very manageable - pack n play next to our bed with 1 or 2 nightly wakeups, and then at 6am or so I’d move her to the bed with me for the final few hours. Then we took a month long trip to my in-laws in another state and she could NOT sleep there. We had to fall asleep next to her on a floor mattress and ninja roll away, nursing to sleep every time. It was the only way she’d sleep there.

Well now we’re back home, and she’s used to nursing to sleep and every time she wakes up, wants to comfort suck on my boob to fall back asleep. After a month of sleeping with her like this, she’s no longer sleeping well. She’s waking up hourly and thrashing around. Naps are challenging now too.

I’m at a loss because I wanted to have her in the pack n play next to me for a whole year. But now I’m thinking it might be time for her to sleep in her crib in her nursery. My soul is literally crushed by the thought of sleep training but at this point I don’t know what other choice I have. No matter what I do, she’s not sleeping! I was a reluctant Cosleeper but enjoyed it enough to keep it up - shes just not sleeping well next to me anymore.

I’m not functioning well, I feel horrible. I was hospitalized for 2 months after I had her and was Diagnosed with a rare chronic disease so my sleep is important. I kept up breastfeeding this whole time and that was hard enough, now I’m not sleeping either and I’m just at the end of my rope. I feel like my supply is dipping because of lack of sleep, too.

I don’t want to hurt my baby’s attachment to me by kicking her out of my bed and room but I don’t know how else to get through this. I’m especially scared of sleep training (irrationally maybe?) because I had to leave her for 2 months to go to the Mayo Clinic in another state right after she was born. So I feel really tender towards our bond since I feel like I failed her right after she was born by needing to be hospitalized.

Ugh sorry this got so rambly and incoherent. Any help would be so appreciated.

Edit to add- her sleep has gotten extra bad since we started her on antibiotics a week ago. Could this get better once we’re off the ABX? I know they hurt her tummy.
 
@markeita Idk how long her sleep has been wonky but I’ve noticed my 13 mo goes through phases. He’ll sleep and nap HORRIBLY even with cosleeping and feeding to sleep. I’ll consider going for a pack of cigarettes and never coming back (mostly jk) then the next night he’s back to sleeping well? I attribute it to teething/growing/GI from trying new foods/regressions. All this to say, I hope you can get a good night of rest tonight so you can formulate your game plan.
 
@annae this is exactly what i came to say about my 8 month old. sometimes he’ll wake up every 30 min to 1 hour and right when i think it’s not working anymore he becomes a better sleeper than ever. but then will get challenging again. etc
 
@markeita I might get downvoted for this, but have you tried a pacifier? Maybe for naps? I talked to my pediatrician about my boy always wanting to be on the boob even when not hungry and after a quick examination she said that he has "a very strong suck reflex" and that's why. Giving a pacifier at night has helped my baby learn to self soothe and I can keep him in the pack and play next to me since I don't bedshare.
 
@brendang I’ve tried so many different kinds!! She doesn’t like them, she gags on them or just chews on them and spits them out 😂😭 the closest I got to her taking one was with ninni co... maybe I just need to practice more with her?
 
@markeita Mine only likes the "mam" brand. And he only learned to take it after my own mother took him for an afternoon. I asked her how she did it and she showed me. She said she held him up to her chest as though she was breastfeeding but slipped the pacifier in there. So she basically "mock breastfed" as soon as I handed him off after he was done eating (so he was full and just soothing). It took her a few tries but apparently once he was sleepy enough it worked!

Apparently she had to do the same thing to me when I was a baby. She said that some people use their fingers in the baby's mouth to soothe first to transition.

Not sure if this will help but it's worth a shot
 
@brendang The mam was clutch with my first. I slipped my nip out and the mam in in one swooping motion and he never noticed! Eventually he could grab the binky in his crib and put it back in his mouth.
 
@brendang Our boy also loved the mam and nothing else. He stopped using it around the 6 months mark, he just totally lost interest. I'm a bit sad cause he slept so well with it but I don't wanna push him just to need to wean him from it in some months.
 
@markeita My kid never took a pacifier but we have gave him a light cotton muslin lovey at 7 months that totally did the trick (I'm in Canada and they say 12 mos for a lovey, but Australia says 7 months and that was good enough for me. The one we got is breathable and too small to wrap around his neck). I just remove my nip from his mouth and give him the lovey to suck on and he either stays asleep or goes riiiight back. It was a game changer for self soothing.
 
@markeita My 2 month old rarely takes them. He swings his head so he will throw them out of his mouth. The look of disgust when we try and give one is kinda funny. He usually will only take it if he is really sleepy. I hate being a human pacifier. 😅
 
@markeita This is me as well. I’m so tired. My 7 month old has to have my nipple in his mouth or he can’t sleep. It’s been like this since 4 months. I can’t bring myself to sleep train but I don’t feel like there are any other solutions. He stirs hourly to latch and I never get a long stretch of sleep. I have no advice but offer solidarity.
 
@markeita Is it possible for dad to sleep with her? We had the same problem. It was very rough in the beginning, and it meant cutting down on breastfeeding, but now we are three months out and have moved her to a floor bed in her own room. She still wakes up quite a bit, but it's changed from every 45 minutes to 2-3-4 hours.

Dad would give her a bottle and then just stay with her in bed, comforting her, trying to give her the pacifier (she wasn't very interested either). There were some nights I just had to take over again, but also more and more where he actually would get her to sleep.
 
@ss158bu we just moved her to a floor bed in her room too!! my husband takes shifts with me about half of the time, and that's super helpful, but she is NOT a happy camper when that happens. She cries pretty much the whole time and doesn't get good rest :/ Hopefully over time she gets used to it though.
 
@markeita I would avoid making a change in the sleeping arrangements while the baby is on medication, not only because the antibiotics might be the cause of the sleep trouble but also because a new sleep setup is less likely to go well if she associates it with stomach pains. It sounds like that early separation was really painful for you both and so it might be emotionally important that you stay sleeping close together—just something to weigh against making a permanent change in your sleeping arrangements right away, even tho you’re struggling right now. Can you build in more sleep in the morning or during the day, perhaps by having your partner or a relative or friend take care of her for an hour or two? This sleepless era won’t last forever: babies have so many phases and change all the time. Sending you and your baby best wishes!
 
@markeita I've been there and it was SO hard. My LO didn't take a pacifier either and this lasted for months. Some things that helped were taking a magnesium supplement (it helped a little with the nursing aversion I started getting at night from over stimulation and lack of sleep), having my partner put baby to sleep even though it would take longer and there would be more crying, and nights I really couldn't stand it I just let baby cry next to me in bed and held them until they eventually fell asleep (I would usually cry too out of guilt, but eventually they fell asleep and I felt better knowing that they weren't crying alone).
 
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