My(16f) mom doesn’t want me having sex or my bf(17m) in my room but asked if i wanted to go on BC and said she would get me a plan B if i need it

[livingstonlakshmanan]

@lunalovesjesus 4 times a month, so like once a week? Meaning that you will definitely be having sex when you’re ovulating (there’s about a week window each month where you can get pregnant).

So yes! I’d definitely get on BC.

 

[maranatha1119]

@lunalovesjesus Ladybug, syphilis is becoming a big problem. Do you want to be a mom at 16? Hiv/aids is real. Use condoms every single time and get on BC because condoms fail occasionally. Google STD's and see which one you'd like to have with a screaming baby every night. In the grand scheme of life sex at 16 is not worth it if you're not protected.

 

[graceinthemiddle]

@lunalovesjesus Maybe stop having sex. Very simple.

 

[victoriawonders]

@lunalovesjesus BC and a condom is the best combination for safety and not getting pregnant.
4 times a month is definitely more than enough to warrant some kind of protection/ BC.
(Cause even one time is enough, honestly).

Well its not an extreme rule on your moms part, but the bed has to be an excuse XD, but tbh i wouldn't want to hear or be kept awake by people having sex in my own home either, no matter if its the home of the people doing too.

Either way, your mom is smart enough to know that just because it doesn't happen on your bed doesn't mean it doesn't happen, and thats a good thing, she seems to give good advice.

 

[shemiyah]

@lunalovesjesus Your mom sounds exactly like any normal mom, girl you better get on birth control asap! I wasn’t allowed to have boys in my room either and I’m thankful bc I definitely would have gotten pregnant for sure. Your mom sounds like a good and responsible mom, please listen to her.

 

[smile]

@lunalovesjesus The fact that your boyfriend is telling you to speak up it’s such a red flag. Speak up about what? Like is he expecting you to say “mom just let me have sec with my boyfriend already,in your home, and stop trying to help me avoid getting pregnant” my love have patience and appreciate what your mother is doing for you.

 

[housecat71]

@lunalovesjesus From the sounds of it, she's trying to make sure that if and when you are actually having sex that you are being safe. She is trying to deter it by not allowing it in her home but she's also no dummy and knows that teenagers will be teenagers and find ways around her ruling.
Go on BC, use condoms, don't be dumb about it. Babies are expensive and change your entire life.

 

[ariel92]

@lunalovesjesus Needing birth control and having sex at home are two different things. Get on birth control. Even for 4 x a month, it's worth a whole lot when compared to becoming a mommy right now and for the rest of your life. Believe me, it's worth it.

The part about obeying parents' rules in their home, that's called respect. Teens have been finding ways to have sex without doing it at parents' homes for generations.

 

[mrsbentine]

@lunalovesjesus Like someone else said, would you want your mom coming over to your house and having sex in it while you knew? That’s part of being an adult, having respect for situations like this. And birth control is a must. Teen pregnancy isn’t fun or cute. It’s losing all your friends and social life and school life to raise a baby you aren’t ready for. And sex four times a month evens out to once a week, which again people have pointed out, isn’t exactly never. Your mom has experience being pregnant and having a baby, she’s trying to protect you from having it happen too young. Trust her judgement.

If you want to show your mom you are maturing, get on birth control like yesterday.

 

[moogie]

@lunalovesjesus Just go get the birth control, use condoms. You’re 16, and your mom can’t control your sex life.

 

[dragonfyre]

@lunalovesjesus Get on BC. It takes ONE time to get pregnant. If my teenager is having unprotected sex and wont take birth control then I wouldn't let you unsupervised either. Just so you know, if you get the pill you have to take it every day and not skip or it isn't effective. The pill wont work if you take it only when you think you might have sex. Would you like her having sex in your space? If not then it's her house and she doesn't want you having sex in it.

 

[logann]

@lunalovesjesus

She told me that she thinks i need to go to an OB because she recently found out I was sexually active.

You should anyway for an annual exam, to ask any questions, to do Std testing if needed. They take a bit of cervical cells and screen you for cancer. They do a visual exam to look for anything unusual. This is important to do, whether or jot you get bc from ther3l

She said that I could go on BC(Birth control) if i wanted to.

Sounds good. Whats the problem?

However, she doesn’t allow me and my boyfriend in my room we are only allowed to sit in my living room since christmas. This is because of her reason that I got a new bed (because my other one was collapsing from age) and she doesn’t want him to break my bed. He’s a big guy 6’3” 340 lbs

Her house, her rules.

A bed weight rating is for laying down resting, not a frisky 340lb guy to roll around with his girlfriend. He has no business being in your bed anyway.

You two don't need to be up in your bedroom anyway. You can hang out in the living room. Watch some movies together or something.

I don’t know how to go about this because i do want to get on BC i think but if I’m only having sex maybe 4 times a month is it even worth it?

Only takes a single time to get you pregnant or give you a std(!!!) Is it worth it to get pregnant or get chylimida?

Why isn't he also using condoms? You do not need some incurable infection down there. Not everyone will know they have an infection. Some infections diseases can be spread by things other than penis-in-vagina sex, so if he claimed he must be fine because he didn't do "it" before, he may not be fine. You need to even be careful about giving oral. The HPV virus can damage cells, possibly turning them cancerous. Hpv infection in the throat is linked to throat cancer.

Plan B is not good for frequent use. It's expensive. It messes with your menstrual cycle. It doesn't protect against disease.

 

[lunalovesjesus]

@logann I forgot to mention that we do use condoms. I also have a 3 year old brother that is not well behaved and because of his age we aren’t allowed to watch many movies that we enjoy that are safe for him to watch.

 

[ingramk]

@lunalovesjesus You should do your own research and be informed about the effectiveness of each birth control method - surprisingly, even condoms aren't flawless.

A pregnancy at your age puts so much strain on your body and will completely change your life. It also directly impacts your mom and your household by adding a newborn baby into the mix as well as being another mouth to feed - on top of it affecting your start in life so that you may need to be dependent on them for money, food, supplies etc. Your mom is likely still at working age and not retired to give you the full support of babysitting.

Your mom sounds like she's just being a good mom and trying to protect you from getting yourselves into a difficult situation. Your mom and stepdad are adults who know the consequences of their choices, you are young and not in the ideal, self sufficient situation if the consequences happen to you.

Have you talked to your bf about what his expectations are if he does get you pregnant? Plenty of kids turn scared and leave you to handle it yourself...

 

[brightflame]

@lunalovesjesus Where would she like to have sex then? It seems like a mixed message.

 

[samuelg29]

@lunalovesjesus I started having sex at 16. My boyfriend lived an hour out of town and he was allowed to come stay for the day, but not sleep over lest we have sex.

I fucked him behind my garage, at the baseball dugout, in a field, in a shed, at the park... Basically we had a lot of outdoor/public sex. And if my mom went shopping or something, we'd fuck in my room in the afternoon while she was gone. Mostly we used condoms. Had he been allowed to sleep over, we literally would have slept.

My mother didn't want me to have consensual sex in a safe and comfortable space, so I chose to have risky sex in uncomfortable places.

Your mom knows you're sexually active, so you should talk to your mom. I wish I would have sat with my mom and asked her, Do you feel comfortable with me having sex at the baseball diamond?? Is that safer/better than me having sex at home in my room, especially if my family is home and can protect me if I need them??

To this day I don't believe my mother knows about all the weird places I've had sex. I think it would make her sick to her stomach if she knew.

When it comes to teen sex, at the end of the day it's not ever about safety, it's about purity. Taking away the safest most comfortable place to explore a relationship physically doesn't make any sense to me. Talk to your mom. I wish I did when I was your age.

 

[destroyed]

@lunalovesjesus Get on BC...your mother doesn't want to be a grandmother anymore than you want to be a mother at 16

 

[sagat4]

@lunalovesjesus See an obstetrician. Get on birth control. An iud is pretty convenient.

 

[bo91]

@lunalovesjesus Yes birth control. It doesn't matter the frequency. Virgins have gotten pregnant after their first time

 

[novus1]

@lunalovesjesus Even 1x can be enough to conceive a child. At 16, you have your entire life ahead of you. Your mom is just trying to protect you from yourself. You're still so young, and a baby would force you to grow up far too fast. It will also force you and said boyfriend to be in each others lives for atleast the next 18 years. If things didn't work out, you will still need to face one another for a child. You definitely need protection.