I've hit my glass ceiling..

[kakashi007]

I'm a 33 year old single mom working in corporate America. I've always been a hard worker & recognized as such. At my last job, my director told me "I've never seen someone come in and make such a financial impact as you did in such a short time (around 9 months after I started)." He directly attributed 25 million on our P&L to me. Then at my job now I was nominated for their highest recognition award only 7 months in.

And then I had a complete nervous system breakdown when I realized I'd reached my glass ceiling.

I'm African American and there's many barriers there that still need to be addressed. I've experienced directly many micro aggressions and flat out racist things. I've walked by my leaders and would say hi & they literally walked right by me as if they don't see me. I've been told to work harder even while doing more output than my white counterparts. My company is headquartered in a city that is 50% African American, yet none of my 42 leaders are African American.
My body is also shaped in a way that doesn't fit well in suits, and any level above me has to wear suits.

Then I'm limited as a single mom. I'm already at my max working 40-50 hours a week. I've worked well over that time as well. It leaves me severely exhausted after traveling and no time to be more than a militant robot when I get home to get everything done before bedtime. On the weekends I was exhausted and drank/slept my life away.

My breakdown led me to realize I can't give anymore to my career and have to give up climbing the corporate ladder. In a way it's one of the best things to happen to me. Now I get to focus on what truly matters to me. I've stopped drinking and have started to build my relationship back up with my daughter. I've stopped selling my soul to climbing an impossible ladder, and started reclaiming what makes me happy.

I could be a great contributor at higher levels, but the system/structure isn't set up for someone like me. Their loss.

 

[stejay]

@kakashi007 For me, my career is a marathon, not a sprint. I have leaned in hard, gotten promotions, awards, etc. But I have also leaned out and decelerated at points, too. It's OK to have different time periods of peaks and valleys across the span of decades. Maybe decelerate for a bit, and take some time for yourself and your child. The system may not be made for you today, but it may be better tomorrow. The only way to do that is to step into the light and shine. It doesn't have to be in a way that others have done it; just in your own way, in your own time, at your own pace.

 

[kakashi007]

@stejay Oh this comment made me feel...idk...heard...seen...hopeful. I hadn't even considered that. I've always been go, go, go until my breakdown landed me in the hospital and literally was forced to slow down. I think it's time I lean into the slowness and make peace with it. I can also come back, be positive & be the change that I am looking for. I don't have to climb the corporate ladder to shine my light.

 

[stejay]

@kakashi007 I wish I could give you a hug. Microaggressions, macroaggressions, and inter-generational trauma are real. They leave invisible scars and C-PTSD. That need to prove doesn't only come from internal fire but from unfortunate external ones as well. Let yourself rest and recharge. Then be visible, lead, and without knowing it, you will be an example for our kids. No one can give at 200% all the time. If you pace yourself, you will get there. We are human beings, not human doings. It's OK to sometimes just be.

 

[brandon908]

@stejay 1 million percent to this. I’m not a single mom, but have a spouse that struggles with severe ADHD and mental health and a kiddo that needs extra support at school
And with medical specialists. I feel like the only adult in our household. My career ebbs and flows and I get it’s not a sprint. Could I be way further in my career without my personal headwinds? Of course! But I take my family and the struggles in stride. It’s anything but easy.

Hats of to you momma doing it on your own .

 

[keifer23]

@kakashi007 African American working mom here! I understand what it feels like to be overlooked by coworkers and superiors. I started asking probing, clarifying questions when I felt microaggresions, and put more emphasis on supporting fellow POC on the job. Last year, I even dealt with losing out a job that I was a top candidate for to a white woman who had never done the work being asked of her. You should have seen my face with said white woman reached out to me this year with "help" knowing I was a finalist for the same position you got over me.

Long story short, this last maternity leave, I started putting feelers out for another job. An old colleague remembered me and suggested I apply for an opening and, lo and behold, I got it. I haven't started the new job yet but what I've heard from others is that you're appreciated better and seen more.

TLDR: Might be time to consider something else. I did after being overlooked for a position I was well-qualified for. I'm not saying to look for another job but you may be surprised the strides and ways other companies/ businesses support you. Even consider remote positions. My sister is making more than she's ever made working remotely with a very diverse group of colleagues that can all authentically be themselves (her words) and she loves it.