Is it worth moving back in with parents/sons grandparents

[thpikid]

So I currently have shared custody with my son, 50/50.

I pay 470/mo in lot rent and 350/ChildSup. I own a manufactured home (built 70's)

I'm reconsidering moving back in with my parents for:

1.My land rent is going up, my mobile home needs major electrical work (cost about 5k-10k) and new A/C unit (5k up). Fire concerns scare me. and home is unbearable for me and my son in extreme summer or extreme winter temp that sometimes we stay overnight at my parents. I have someone lined up who wants to pay me 11k for my mobile home. I paid 6K. I've lived here with my son for 5 years.

2.I'm also considering quitting my full time job at a call center due to new management change, they been firing people from left to right. Moved me to a miserable position with same pay, and works been honestly depressing, been working here for about 5 years and since new management its been a miserable year. I don't want anxiety/depression show to my son. which I am ultimately thinking quitting my full-time job and keep my part time job (which pays 30 cents less but I enjoy the work way more) . My counselor stated this job is the reason for my high anxiety and worries. And I'm also worried they will decide to fire me for a mess up.

Now here are the Pros of moving back:

-No more high stress and feeling tired all the time

-Can save some money, not paying 470/mo, instead paying 100/mo to my parents
Family support

-Can focus on finding a new career/full time job or attempt to get a full time job at part time company.

-I would have more time with my son, not having a full time job... How much I would love that.

Cons of moving with them:

-Consider how it may affect my son. He loves his grandparents but moving when school is near concerns me.

-Concerned how my ex would take it, even though she lives with her parents, I'm concerned she will try to change the parenting plan we have through the court.

-Telling people I live with my parents :0 I know there is a stigma for this

-Privacy? maybe i dont know. last time I lived with them it was not a problem. but that was when my child was 1 year old.

• Concerns I will get to comfortable and living there for a long time, I plan on still getting an apartment but I've not had luck finding anything affordable.

Neutral:

My son will have his own room either way

My son will still be in the same town/same school

I technically wouldn't be unemployed due to my part time job.

We would be staying in a part of the house with its own bathroom/2 rooms/kitchen.

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I guess i'm posting here because I want realistic advice from people who have done this or want to see if anything can be recommended.... am I just day dreaming about being relived and stress free? I honestly want best for my son and I'm honestly scared of my future. I honestly don't know what to do anymore.

 

[nihilistiostsoul]

@thpikid Sounds awesome to me!!!!

 

[jaymer56]

@nihilistiostsoul I agree. It seems like the right move

I think you should make the move before school starts so your son transitions smoothly. I don't think your ex could cause a stink about you living with your parents if your son has his own space and is well cared for.

 

[vmh]

@jaymer56 And this could be seen as positive in court so long as all the right conditions are there. If the kid has his own space and well provided for, a judge could see this as more support, a takes a village sort of thing. Judge saw the help from my family as a sign that my living conditions were more stable because I had people to fall back on.

 

[saint101]

@thpikid I don't see anything wrong with this plan. I would advise that as long as you're open with your parents / ex about your concerns, supportive of each other and on the same page, then living there could work out well for everyone. The hardest part will be sticking to your plan to not only save up, but maintaining your drive to create a better future for your son and you. Your self-awareness tells me that you're already moving forward and making progress. You should be very proud of yourself for that's not as easy to do as it sounds.

As for the stigma, sure we know it exist. But we're single parents and we don't have time to worry about others peoples judgement (BTW, most of these are in our own head and aren't even real). And even if they are real...fuck em, who cares? You're doing one of the hardest jobs in the world right now, planning ahead and setting goals. They can't get in the way of that...right??? Right!

Seeing a post like this still inspires me b/c it shows a necessary mindset we all have to face. I don't have great advice as to what you need to do and I'm sure whatever decision you make will be hard. But I have a feeling that you're gonna be okay and that your son's going to be proud you, OP....and if not, at least you have a random internet stranger who is.

 

[thpikid]

@saint101 Thank you so much for you insight! I think the hardest part is telling my ex of the change. But going further, I think the chance of saving will probably be best, especially if I plan on moving to an apartment.

And I love how you mentioned not to care what other think. Its honestly not a big deal as you are right, planning and setting goals will be more rewarding in the end.

Thank you for your support and I'll move forward on my plan list and figure things out so its not a messy situation.

Again thank you!