@aog17 It's no more selfish than having kids close in age.
We have three kids. My stepchild is almost 7 years older than my son and almost 14 years older than my daughter. My son and daughter are about 6 years apart. (I do not understand how anyone affords two in daycare at the same time.)
If you want some advice: Make sure you have some one-on-one time with your daughter regularly planned after having your baby. She's used to being your sole focus and may resent her sibling less if you continue to give some special attention of her own.
Try not to have expectations for intimacy, but do have rules about behavior. Like, your older child should not have to play with her sibling or be a babysitter, but she should be expected to treat her sibling with kindness and patience-- because that's how we treat younger people.
I think sibling relationships are unpredictable and depend on each child's development and personality. My kids are 26, 19, and 13, now. My younger two generally like each other but don't hang out because they're at such different places in their development. However, when they were 8 and 3, he regularly included her when playing outside with neighborhood kids. When she was 1 and he was 6, he loved building blocks with her and making her laugh. Now that my daughter is a teen her oldest sibling, who lives out of state, had her for a week long visit. They are both into art and anime, so they've shared that over Zoom for the last few years (a godsend during Covid).
Anecdotally, I'm closer with my younger sister than with my twin. My sister and I talk a couple times a week. We're almost 8 years apart in age.
We have three kids. My stepchild is almost 7 years older than my son and almost 14 years older than my daughter. My son and daughter are about 6 years apart. (I do not understand how anyone affords two in daycare at the same time.)
If you want some advice: Make sure you have some one-on-one time with your daughter regularly planned after having your baby. She's used to being your sole focus and may resent her sibling less if you continue to give some special attention of her own.
Try not to have expectations for intimacy, but do have rules about behavior. Like, your older child should not have to play with her sibling or be a babysitter, but she should be expected to treat her sibling with kindness and patience-- because that's how we treat younger people.
I think sibling relationships are unpredictable and depend on each child's development and personality. My kids are 26, 19, and 13, now. My younger two generally like each other but don't hang out because they're at such different places in their development. However, when they were 8 and 3, he regularly included her when playing outside with neighborhood kids. When she was 1 and he was 6, he loved building blocks with her and making her laugh. Now that my daughter is a teen her oldest sibling, who lives out of state, had her for a week long visit. They are both into art and anime, so they've shared that over Zoom for the last few years (a godsend during Covid).
Anecdotally, I'm closer with my younger sister than with my twin. My sister and I talk a couple times a week. We're almost 8 years apart in age.
