Is it possible to take too much parental leave?

[jdthcstl]

I am in a very lucky position where I have an employer that offers 6 weeks of paid leave and is flexible with my return date. This leave can be used throughout the first year after birth.

I am thinking about taking 8 weeks of total leave as soon as the baby is born. A nice round 2 months. Then return part time for a few months.l before going full time.

In theory, I could also use my parental leave as days off throughout the year as well and still work, instead of taking one solid block.

Is it crazy to take that much time off at one time? Or should I take as much time as I can get?

Most people I've spoken to were just happy getting a few weeks off for the birth of their child, so it is hard to say what would be the most valuable if they had more time.

I'm curious what others have done or would do in this situation.

Edit: Thank you everyone for your stories and thoughts. It is very reassuring that I am doing the right thing and taking my max leave.

 

[phyominaye]

@jdthcstl Is this your first? Take it all at once. Sign up for it now and don’t think any more about it.

 

[jdthcstl]

@phyominaye This will be my first, I would rather just spend time with him and never return if I could. Everything else seems like a compromise.

 

[phyominaye]

@jdthcstl You’re right, Everything else is a compromise.

 

[jistme]

@jdthcstl Also wanting to never return. Trying to convince my wife that I’d be a fantastic stay at home dad. Using my leave to showcase my skills.

 

[crosscarrier1985]

@jistme Does she make enough money to sustain your family comfortably?

 

[jistme]

@crosscarrier1985 I’d say so. I mean, it would certainly be an adjust being DINCs but we have been saving a good bit of money since we couldn’t travel as much as we would have liked the past few years.

 

[highandlifted]

@phyominaye I took 2 months off when my first child was born, it was literally one of best decisions I ever made. If you can find a way, take more time. You'll never regret it. Depending on the state you live in, you could legally be allowed more time and may already be paying for it in your taxes (they'll send you money to not work and spend time with your family!)

 

[everly]

@jdthcstl No, it is absolutely not "crazy" to take two months off. That would be considered a barbarically short amount of time in most Western countries.

 

[tiggerandelise]

@everly I think the phrasing should be more like "I only have 2 months to take off" take it all. Mom is going to need to recover from child birth and bonding with that little one is priceless.

 

[adenife]

@everly I was so pumped to get two weeks off

 

[davidfromwales]

@everly Good ol America. The only reason I got two weeks off is because I had the vacation time to do it. Absolute criminally short amount of time with my newborn boy and 0 paid time off afterwards.

 

[helloitsme]

@everly Two months is the bare minimum imo

 

[katrina2017]

@jdthcstl I was working at one of the top banks and they give employees 16 weeks of parental leave. Trust me I loved being out every single minute, and it didn’t take me long to get back into the swing of things once I returned.

 

[audreychoy]

@katrina2017 My bank gives 10 weeks family bonding, taken all in one chunk, within the first year of birth. As a father, this is amazing. Just had my 3rd kid at the end of September, and plan to start my leave Jan 9! Wife goes back to work Jan 16.

 

[katrina2017]

@audreychoy It was definitely the break I needed to just adapt to how I changed my life, forever lol.

And Congratulations!

How has the adjustment been going from 2 to 3?!

 

[audreychoy]

@katrina2017 Thank you! The adjustment has been the most difficult. Maybe it's because I'm pushing 40, my body can't take the long nights and early mornings. I wouldn't trade it for the world though.

 

[katrina2017]

@audreychoy Lol, I can imagine!

My wife and I only have one right now and we’ve wavered on the 2 or 3 total. I played basketball a lot growing up and I tell her if we have 2 kids then we can play man-to-man defense and keep things locked down.

Once we have a 3rd we have to play zone defense and we are outnumbered so eventually our defense is going to breakdown at points

But I hope the long nights get shorter soon! And I hope you have the best time with your newest addition!

 

[audreychoy]

@katrina2017 I'm the oldest of 3 kids, and my wife always wanted 3, so I was expecting it! It's definitely a game changer, but don't regret it at all. Good luck to you!

 

[chefboo]

@jdthcstl I took 3 months of parental leave. I regret none of it.

I will say your usefulness is really the first two or three weeks, helping the Mom recover and get into a routine. After that I would say taking the time off later off is better for you(6 months? 12 months?), when the child isn't so much a potatoe and you can have time to form a bond and just generally enjoy your child.

If you can afford it, I would encourage a get away while on parental leave if your child is older. Gets you out of your routine so you can just get to know each other without the mundanity of daily life.