@judyc Honestly I think it’s too far to make her fast. Being hungry and not feeling good, getting a headache because you need to eat is honestly torture for me so I don’t agree with it.
@judyc I think your daughter was cruel and you’re doubling down on the cruelty. Food isn’t a privilege you earn by bring good. It’s her right and your obligation to provide.
Don’t try to be “creative” with discipline. Be consistent and predictable. Take away her tablet for a week, make her apologize, give her extra chores - whatever you’d normally do. Don’t surprise her by denying her food.
@judyc I come from a muslim country and I am not muslim. I grew up with many muslims fasting around me and when you're a kid, you do tend to do what your daughter and her friend did. It does not warrant drastic measures to the point that she needs to fast as well. She needs to be educated. Teaching her about ramadhan is excellent, and even for us non muslims, learning about it made us that much more considerate and together we even remind our muslim friends that its time to break fast, or we would cover their breaks during work times if they needed to break fast etc etc.
The education part of it is far more important at this point then just punishing her.
@katrina2017 I want to say it did. She remained extremely positive throughout the day. She talked alot about feeling bad for her friend and not defending her because she decided to laugh with the other girl, which made us talk about other factors. So there was definitely a lot of opening up from her part.
@judyc I feel like forcing her to go without food is too drastic.
While your intentions are in the right place I'm afraid forcing her to acknowledge and participate in a religion "as punishment" will possibly teach her to resent Muslims as she grows older.
Is there a way you could instead have her apologize to the boy for laughing at his religious customs? She's 10. I don't think 10 is old enough to be Islamaphobic other than to mimic other people around her.
She was laughing at her friend's antics....you're right that its still wrong but she probably doesn't grasp the concept of Ramadan, or care to, at the age of 10.
@judyc Going without food is punishment. I work in a prison and we don't even punish inmates by withholding food. Which is what you are doing in the name of being "woke".
Plus if she goes to school and says "My mom isn't allowing me to eat" good luck with that call from a social worker. People have been reported for less.
@judyc Was it abusive? Yes it was. Withholding nutrients as punishment is abuse. You better hope she doesn't tell anyone. I personally wouldn't have forced her to fast to teach her sympathy. I would have told her to appologize to the girl. FYI, children that young aren't suppose to fast all day in Islam before you go being an expert. It's the age they should become acclimated but should not be fasting all day until they are almost teenagers per my spouse who is from Saudi. This child's parents should come into question. Sending a child to school without food is neglect religion or not. An acception can be made for young children.
@tweterbird I absolutely never even made a comment about knowing anything about the religion, I dont know what you are basing this "before you go being an expert" comment on. What I do know is that my daughter mentioned that they fast until 8pm, per my daughter's friend, you know, who we are basing this story on, not your husband. ALSO, like I mentioned before, it was not all day, we already had dinner and a snack. My daughter is far from malnourished and I doubt skipping 2 meals is going to have any effect on her getting all her nutrients.
@judyc If you don’t know anything about Islam, you shouldn’t be forcing your child to experience their customs because the parents of the Muslim girl are idiots. That makes you an idiot for repeated the same abuse and not reporting it.
Food should never be a punishment or reward either. There were so many ways to handle this better and this is what you arrived at? Revenge and retaliation is insanely destructive and now she’ll know to never tell you anything ever again. Good job. Maybe don’t brag about abusing your kid next time.
