I need help - baby is not gaining weight

[apa]

My baby is five weeks old today. She only had breastmilk so far. She gained weight very slowly and stopped gaining completely a week ago. Doctor wants to put her on formula and I am devastated.
I can’t find the reason for the slow weight gain and the doctor says I don’t have enough milk but I don’t think that’s the case. She has 6-10 wet diapers, at least five of them has poop too. Her poops look normal. She looks normal according to the doctor. She sleeps a lot but she is alert and playful when she is awake. She is healthy and not dehydrated, but in the past week she started being extremely fussy and I think she is in pain sometimes, altough i failed to figure out what causes it.
I am terrified that i’m starving her. But I’m also afraid that I am being a pushover if I start formula feeding and give up on exclusive breastfeeding. There MUST be SOMETHING I can do. There has to be some kind of examination I can request. There has to be something I can try before I give up.

Babys stats:
birth weight: 4420 g
3 days after birth: 4170 g
(we had a traumatic hospital stay after this- we got covid, she got antibiotics for no reason and we were separated from father in quarantine, no weight gain in this period)
2 weeks after birth: 4150 g
3 weeks after birth: 4250 g
4 weeks after birth: 4320 g
5 weeks, so right now: 4330 g

weight gain slowed down and seemingly stopped.
I am horrified and I cry all the time. I love her more than anything. Please help, what should I do?

EDIT:
Thank you for all your answers! I talked on the phone with an IBCLC lactation consultant and also scheduled a personal appointment for monday. I bought a pump and started pumping after each feeding. My supply is increasing.
I appreciate every kind comment, thanks for the encouragement! I also understand that some of you wrote in a harsh manner - please let me explain things a bit, because I NEVER meant to hurt my baby in any way and I clearly do not want to question a trained health professionals diagnosis.
I am not in the US, and in my country hospitals are very different. You can’t simply trust doctors here and you always need to research and consider other options. In my country 80 thousand people die in the hospitals each year due to hygiene problems. Pediatricans can be very negligent, mine refused to even examine babys mouth. So naturally i look for answers elsewhere.
Diagnosis said baby needs to produce weight gain by tuesday, otherwise we start formula, so I am completely willing to supplement, I’m just baffled that this doctor didn’t even say any alternatives. Thanks again for recommending IBCLC consultants and pumping, maybe I can fix this by tuesday.

 

[jonatec]

@apa I supplemented formula in the hospital. When I got home I found myself rationing my pumped breastmilk so that I didn’t have to feed formula. My best friend was there and gently told me it was better to just feed the baby formula so that he was full.
11 weeks later, my baby only gets breastmilk and is doing great. Use the formula! Nothing wrong with it whatsoever and if your babe gets any breastmilk!over 2oz a day…you’re already providing a lot of those amazing immune benefits!

 

[katrina2017]

@apa If your baby gets ANY breastmilk, she is getting the benefits of breastmilk. If you feed her 10, 3 or only ONE time per day, you are still breastfeeding. Combo feeding is extremely normal and common. It doesn’t mean that you’re not breastfeeding or that the journey is over. Help your baby and you will feel so much better.

 

[psyman]

@katrina2017 Yes!!!! Learning that breastmilk isn’t all or nothing took so much of the pressure off of me. It was really significant for my mental health. I hope OP sees this comment!

 

[athanasiusm]

@apa You should supplement with formula immediately. She’s likely fussy because she’s hungry and not gaining weight because she’s not getting enough milk.

There is nothing wrong with needing to do this. There is nothing wrong with formula. It probably won’t be forever and you can return to exclusively breastfeeding. A lot of people co-feed as Baby gaining weight is the most important thing.. ( farrrr more important than only getting breastmilk)

You can pump to increase your supply and keep breastfeeding her. I needed to supplement initially, now EBF. It will be okay, but listen to the doctor and start topping up so she is getting what she needs.

 

[katrina2017]

@athanasiusm This was the same for me. It’s super common to need to supplement. Baby is now 11 months and still EBF. Supplementing doesn’t need to be forever.

 

[valarie51899]

@athanasiusm Just coming to see that you can also see lactation who does weighted feeds so you can see how much baby is taking.

As you give bottled formula or BM, use a slow flow nipple and use paced feeding

Also edited to say that babies can take in enough to stay hydrated but not gain weight, which still means they’re not getting enough to grow while maintaining good diapers

 

[starr15]

@athanasiusm 100% agree start on formula right now. We needed to supplement at the start too due to high-ish weight loss after birth and my milk supply took forever to come in. Three months in we were back to EBF and honestly probably could have made it happen earlier if I’d been willing to sacrifice more sleep (I wasn’t). Baby is five months old and in the 98th percentile for growth now and still EBF, formula is a distant memory though I wouldn’t hesitate to start supplementing again if we needed to.

 

[jandlcc]

@athanasiusm Yes, all of this! Fed is best! This happened to me and my baby at the beginning, you can always go back to EBF later. You can nurse your baby, top them off with formula and pump while she’s getting her bottle of formula. That should boost your supply.

 

[john6574]

@athanasiusm Just here to add that we supplemented for a while and it was initially upsetting for me too. But ultimately that only went on for a month or two, now I have a 76th percentile 6.5month old who is EBF. Totally doable. You’re doing great!!!!

 

[katrina2017]

@apa Gently, your baby's health is more important than your pride in exclusively breastfeeding.

Your baby isn't getting enough food and is suffering. Formula isn't a death sentence to breastfeeding, but not feeding your child enough can have long term detrimental effects. Formula is a good and valid resource to use. Please start supplementing with formula immediately. Similac 360 Total Care is what I used in the NICU and helped my baby get the nutrients he needed.

 

[shane26]

@apa You don’t have to stress about combo feeding. You can still breastfeed every session, then just top off with formula after each session. You can also pump after giving formula if you want to try to boost your supply. Giving the formula top-offs makes sure your baby gets full, but continuing to put them on the breast (and also pumping) will continue to stimulate you to make milk, so you don’t have to worry about drying up.

 

[edprof]

@shane26 This! We were advised to do the same thing when my baby lost too much birthweight.

 

[miketexas]

@apa If she is not gaining she is not getting enough food. She needs to be supplemented with formula or donor milk. In terms of your supply, you can work with an IBCLC to get a weighted feed to see how much your baby is transferring at a time. But right now your baby needs more food. Give her bottles of supplement and pump when you do so your body knows to make more milk at that time. Try offering a 2oz bottle after nursing and see how much LO takes.

I needed to supplement my LO too. His weight gain was too slow on my milk alone. It didn’t take much. Around 8oz a day.

 

[livinglife3]

@miketexas Why do you need an IBCLC for a weighted feed? I got a used baby scale for $25 and did it myself many times. Newborns don't move around that much.

 

[miketexas]

@livinglife3 I went with an IBCLC because they have such accurate scales down to the 2mL.

 

[lt3]

@miketexas whats IBCLC?

 

[jaetii]

@lt3 International board certified lactation consultant

 

[kamiaran]

@apa This sounds a lot like what I am going through with my baby. I booked an appointment with an IBCLC and it was the best decision I ever made. I’m upset with myself for waiting so long to consult with them.
My baby had severe lip, tongue, and cheek ties making it difficult for him to transfer milk. He was getting milk, but it was taking so much effort that the calories he burned eating hurt his weight gain. And he was also never draining my breasts which killed my supply. This made it even harder for him to gain.
He’s had his ties corrected, but we’re having to do exercises to build his strength. The pediatrician and IBCLC agree once he gets a little bigger and stronger, he’ll be able to transfer more milk, but in the meantime, I’m supplementing with bottles of breast milk and formula.
I was devastated to start formula, but seeing how much happier he is, less fussy, and him gaining weight is what makes it bearable. I’m killing myself pumping ten times a day in addition to nursing him round the clock so I can build my supply back up. It’s going to be a long road, but I’m praying we’ll get there.
In the meantime, though, the formula is feeding my baby, and he is healthy and thriving, which is more important than my desire to breastfeed only.

 

[thelifted]

@apa You are not a failure but a baby must be continuously gaining at that age. Her fussiness is likely hunger. Do the formula. Triple Feed. You nurse then pump while she has a formula top up. It will increase your supply so you can eventually be EBF. A lot of us had to supplement at some point.