@christopherk Have you given her a nap schedule or wake windows schedule for her to follow explicitly? Including even how to put bang down for the nap? 30oz is ridiculous and I’m sure she’s just trying to soothe the baby or possibly get them to have a nap by over feeding.
Need help - ounces per day
- Thread starter christopherk
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christopherk
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@decanus My mother is incapable of following a schedule. We’ve had multiple conversations about how babies sleep better when they’ve had adequate naps. She simply can’t leave him alone that long. She changes his clothes three times a day, goes through about 10 diapers, and is constantly doing something. He’s overstimulated when he gets home. (Read: childcare can’t come soon enough) So I don’t know if he’s comfort feeding, if she’s trying to get him to nap once he’s so fussy from missing naps… maybe both? I’ve tried writing down a schedule - it hasn’t worked so far. My husband says we should have her come to our house one day and just see what she’s doing and let her see how we do it.
@christopherk I haven’t read through your post in detail or other comments but I think you definitely need another form of childcare!
@christopherk Likely she's not pace feeding, and/or is treating your milk as formula, so he then sucks down way more than he should. Theoretically, it should be 1.25-2 oz per missed hour until the age of 1 and/or they begin eating solids regularly, while formula is a gradual increase as baby ages.
I had issues with my daycare doing that, just freezing the milk I sent and offering the emergency formula I sent instead. They ran through the formula that had clear instructions regarding its use, and even now they occasionally give him more milk than necessary and he runs out before pickup. They've started writing down how long it takes him to drink.
I had issues with my daycare doing that, just freezing the milk I sent and offering the emergency formula I sent instead. They ran through the formula that had clear instructions regarding its use, and even now they occasionally give him more milk than necessary and he runs out before pickup. They've started writing down how long it takes him to drink.
christopherk
New member
@19nanny55 I would be so angry if someone stashed my breast milk and went into emergency formula. How did that convo go? How do they even justify that?
@christopherk They claimed it was the new hire. I'm skeptical on how well half the staff can read. But it is definitely frustrating, because I'm one of those "just barely enough" pumpers, hence the emergency formula.
But, they're also the cheapest ($200/week) and closest to my house...
But, they're also the cheapest ($200/week) and closest to my house...
christopherk
New member
@19nanny55 $200/wk is still tough. Kudos to you for working through it. That must have been really stressful.
@christopherk The next cheapest was $250, everyone else over $300 or too far away relative to our jobs.
christopherk
New member
@19nanny55 Childcare costs are out of control, IMO.
jltaylor196335
New member
@christopherk My MIL has been watching my 7 month old since he was 6 weeks and i had to go back to work. She was also feeding him way more than what was needed and would also leave the bottles out with milk still left in it and waste that too 
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What has helped a ton was starting solids/purées. I now give her two jars of homemade purées to feed the baby breakfast and lunch and that seems to be getting my MIL to give my baby less milk. We’ve gone down from about 20-24 ounces to 14-16 ounces now.
I am on a similar nursing schedule to you as well. Nurse my son around 6, right before he goes to bed and then 2-3 times a night and when he wakes up in the morning before i take him to my in-laws.
. What has helped a ton was starting solids/purées. I now give her two jars of homemade purées to feed the baby breakfast and lunch and that seems to be getting my MIL to give my baby less milk. We’ve gone down from about 20-24 ounces to 14-16 ounces now.
I am on a similar nursing schedule to you as well. Nurse my son around 6, right before he goes to bed and then 2-3 times a night and when he wakes up in the morning before i take him to my in-laws.
grimsqueaker
New member
@christopherk I have a similar experience with my MIL.
Went out for a date with the hubs and gave very strict feeding instructions (he's 1 mo, so 3-4 oz every 2-3 hours, and make sure you stop and burp every oz or so) and she proceeded to ignore those instructions (gave him 5-6 oz every hour and definitely wasn't burping him every oz because he was fussy AF). We were only gone for 2.5 hr, and she was warming up another 3oz bottle by the time we got home!
All other methods of comfort require attention and patience, which I know most people struggle with. Perhaps give her tips on what you do to soothe him when he gets fussy between feeds. I have to strap mine to my chest and sing or hum until he's asleep (about 20 mins at worst). Then I get about 4 hours (we're in week 6-7 now) uninterrupted.
Went out for a date with the hubs and gave very strict feeding instructions (he's 1 mo, so 3-4 oz every 2-3 hours, and make sure you stop and burp every oz or so) and she proceeded to ignore those instructions (gave him 5-6 oz every hour and definitely wasn't burping him every oz because he was fussy AF). We were only gone for 2.5 hr, and she was warming up another 3oz bottle by the time we got home!
All other methods of comfort require attention and patience, which I know most people struggle with. Perhaps give her tips on what you do to soothe him when he gets fussy between feeds. I have to strap mine to my chest and sing or hum until he's asleep (about 20 mins at worst). Then I get about 4 hours (we're in week 6-7 now) uninterrupted.
@christopherk It sounds like she is misreading baby's cues and over feeding, but it sounds like you've already tried discussing that with her! I can't really help with most of your post but I can tell you a strategy I've used. I'm typically home with my baby (WFH) and feed on demand. However, whenever I have had to leave baby with someone else (either my husband or my dad) while I go in to work, I have them text me when they give a bottle and how much baby takes so I can pump an equivalent amount. I also will text them when I'm feeling like it's been too long between feeds based on how my boobs feel. I know it sounds like a lot, but this worked well with my now 2 year old and will do again when I need to leave my 8 week old.
allnamesarechosen
New member
@christopherk She is WAY overfeeding him! He only needs 24-30oz for the entire 24 hours, and she’s jamming that into him as quickly as she can. She needs to learn about paced feeding and only have access to an appropriate amount of milk in small bottles (not the tall 8oz ones, preferably only 3-4 oz/bottle on 4-5oz bottles) with slow flow nipples. She also needs to learn how to soothe/entertain a baby in ways other than giving milk. This situation happens over and over again with family destroying breastfeeding relationships with massive overfeeding.
edtheviking
New member
@christopherk Keep trying to get him to take a pacifier after the bottle. He prob has the urge to suck but gets the milk out of the bottle easier than the breast so he still wants to suck more after. Breastfeeding serves a lot of purposes, primarily human contact/snuggling and comfort, sucking and food source. If he’s had enough food but still wants to breastfeed he may be lacking these other areas. He may also need more stimulation, such as laying on his play mat to play with toys, instead of turning to milk any time he is fussy.
christopherk
New member
@edtheviking These are great suggestions, thank you!!
@christopherk It’s possible she doesn’t recognize your baby’s hunger cues and thinks that any fussing at all means baby is hungry, so she over feeds. I’ve seen this happen way too often…
mimshackgodwins
New member
@christopherk Is there a way you could have her show you how she’s preparing the bottles AND how she’s feeding them? Most of the old method of feeding babies is completely opposite of the paced feeding method, so the baby gulps the bottle down in 5 minutes and their stomach doesn’t have a chance to catch up. Even my sister (whose oldest is 4) kept trying to correct us when she was over and we had to explain to her the idea behind paced feeding.
I recently had to go through this with daycare too. I have had enough weighted feeds to know my baby only transfers 2.5-3 oz of milk during a feeding between both sides. (And it’s usually under 3oz.) So I bagged my milk at 3 oz for daycare. They said she was upset and crying after every bottle, so I walked them through how to do paced feeding and she’s been doing a lot better. I now bag at 3.5 oz because they also feed her every 3 hours and I know sometimes at home she BFs less than that sometimes, but I don’t have the supply to do more especially when I know she doesn’t need it.
I would also recommended maybe her going with you to a weighted feed and having an LC explain all this and even maybe walk her through how to feed the baby so it’s coming from a third party.
I recently had to go through this with daycare too. I have had enough weighted feeds to know my baby only transfers 2.5-3 oz of milk during a feeding between both sides. (And it’s usually under 3oz.) So I bagged my milk at 3 oz for daycare. They said she was upset and crying after every bottle, so I walked them through how to do paced feeding and she’s been doing a lot better. I now bag at 3.5 oz because they also feed her every 3 hours and I know sometimes at home she BFs less than that sometimes, but I don’t have the supply to do more especially when I know she doesn’t need it.
I would also recommended maybe her going with you to a weighted feed and having an LC explain all this and even maybe walk her through how to feed the baby so it’s coming from a third party.
apologetics1
New member
@christopherk I think your mom needs a lesson on pace feeding, it could help a lot! Maybe if she can reduce each bottle down to 4 oz that would help
@christopherk From what I have read, babies need about 1-1.5oz of breast milk per hour of time passed so if it’s been 3 hours since the last feeding, a baby should eat about 3-4.5oz. It seems to track because I exclusively pump and my 15 week old eats about 26oz a day. If he gets more than that, most times he just ends up being over-full and spitting up a ton.