@batman21 I had the same exact thing happen when my son was 2. Ended up in a huge fight with my SIL (Former SIL now). She wanted my son to ride on her daughter's lap so he could go to the movies with them. She had a habit of not only not using car seats but also lap riding kids and even worse putting a bunch of them in the hatch of her SUV. Her own husband lit into her telling her to STFU. Drop that "friend". She is going to drag you down.
@batman21 Your friend is the one who needs teaching about parenting. The only reason her kids were OK until now is that she's never been in a car accident. Child seats are designed to minimize the damage from those. Not to mention, where I live, not putting your child in one is illegal and you'll be fined. After I gave birth, I had to show the people at the hospital we were leaving with a car seat, otherwise they wouldn't let me go. It is one thing to overprotect your child and a completely different one to follow basic safety standards. Tell your friend to f off.
@batman21 This person is not your friend and I would absolutely not hesitate to call CPS or the authorities where you live on her. She is endangering the lives of her children every time she leaves the house.
@batman21 What country do you live in where she isn't losing her kids over this?? That's seriously fucked up. Where I live, CPS would be involved. You need a better friend. AND she is an advocate for "cry it out?" I feel bad for her kids...
Edit: I would seriously report her. Her behavior is NOT okay or normal.
@batman21 I don't know where you live but that is irresponsible and not a good friend. Data shows this isn't safe at all and is illegal in many places. Depending on where you are i would report it. Also many places in the US will do car seat safety checks for free. To see that your little one is properly strapped in.
I'd just straight up not be friends with her. Your doing just fine as a parent. I think parents especially mother's can be really critical of each other. Most important things are love and basic needs and safety being met.
It's ok to not know everything. I certainly don't.
@batman21 Let's put it this way: my mother followed the car seat regulations (which goes by weight, mostly) to the absolute letter.... Which means that I was in a backless booster right up until I was 12 cause I was so light and short at the time.
Parenting styles are fine to disagree on, but safety is not negotiable. Car seats are written into law in many countries, and it's for the child's own good. Your friend, I'm sorry to say, is a neglectful parent and not a very good friend. You're not doing anything wrong.
@batman21 Not putting her child in a carseat is literally illegal, it's child endangerment and if she gets pulled over she WILL be ticketed and CPS will be called. She could literally lose her kids over this, holy shit. What an idiot.
@batman21 It's illegal and 100% not worth the CPS investigation or the injury and death. You can believe your kid will be fine for a quick drive but it's just not worth the risks at all, even the punitive ones.
Don't let this cuckoo make you feel bad for a second.
@batman21 God she sounds exactly like my mother...who is now banned from seeing my children unsupervised or visiting our house.
Your friend doesn't seem to understand that just because nothing bad has happened to her kid so far doesn't mean the risk is acceptable. She probably won't change her attitude unless something terrible does happen, sadly. People forget that even 30, 40 years ago child death was more common, especially in road accidents, because the things we did to keep them safe weren't as advanced.
You're 100% right. Your friend's experience does not trump your instinct, which is spot on. You keep at it.
@batman21 If she gets into a car accident with her 2yo in the car he will become a projectile and wither die or be seriously injured. You need to call CPS immediately
@chidubem Exactly. Not only is she risking the 2-year-old's life, she's risking the life of everyone in the car as well, and possibly other drivers/pedestrians on the road, even.
@batman21 Survivor bias is the worst. Your "friend" got lucky & keeps getting lucky. Friend is in quotation marks because honestly she doesn't sound like much of a friend, picking apart your parenting & not accepting your completely reasonable boundaries/preference (no bottles, no CIO, etc). The carseat thing is a whole other issue that I hope she gets ticketed on multiple times because that is objectively not at all safe.
@batman21 I’d be reporting her to both the police and CPS. She may not care about her kids safety in a car, so she can deal with the legal consequences of her lack of care, it’s better than a horrific outcome. She’s no friend of yours either.
@batman21 She doesn’t sound like a great friend. It’s one thing to share our experiences so we have different perspectives, it’s another entirely to consider our own experiences as superior and a tool to judge others.
