I don’t like my daughter’s friend. And they’re 7

@olly91 Change neighborhood ❗❗❗
That little girl there will be the reason of your own daughter growing up with huge anxiety and self-conscious...
Do u want your daughter to believe that she is not worthy?!

While growing up, children tend to listen to their "friends" more than their parents...
And if that girl manages to convince your daughter, that she is superior and your daughter is less, has less... You will be set to face really big teenage trauma and even the therapy won't be a guarantee...

I had classmates who were like that. One was avarag looking and the other was better looking but the everage one had the prettier one convinced that it was other way around...
And the girl was always so shy because she really believed that she was not as good as her "friend"
 
@olly91 Yeah it sounds like the problem is the folks she’s learning that behavior from. Probably from one of her entitled SAHPs that likes to brag about what they have, which most people with a brain know it’s just a bunch of debt. One missed check and it’s all downhill. IMO anyway
 
@olly91 You don’t have to allow for play dates to happen, but if they go to the same school they will still see each other. Your best bet is to help your daughter be a good person and to hope she out grows this friend.
 
@olly91 We have a neighbor kid who seems to have budding Oppositional Defiant Disorder. My strategy so far is to avoid… it is just too hard to try to teach someone else’s kid to be a decent person when they are not having that modeled at home.
 
@olly91 I wish I could protect my kid from those kids who are being raised by assholes. It's impossible though. Your best bet is to tell your daughter that those things the other girl is bragging about don't matter. What matters is that you're safe and happy and kind to people.
 
@olly91 Really, REALLY, dont get involved. This is the first of many. You cant control this aspect of their lives. You CAN control the behavior you model, and how much trust you show your kid in their judgment and who they are as people. You’re at a fork in the road: will you trust your child to grow into a great person with your guidance and (more importantly) example, or will you micromanage their relationships and behaviors from an early age showing them you dont trust them and their ability to grow into good people?
 
@olly91 I've heard six year olds commenting on interior design at birthday parties. Guess what their parents care about?

How to deal with it, kids can sense it when you resent them. It's not a great experience for anyone to experience that. The only thing you can do, is to make it clear that your rules are to be followed at your house. And work on seeing the kids good sides, because you are the adult. It's just a kid, and some kids are like that.
 
@olly91 There is nothing wrong with correcting her. Your don’t need to be nasty but you can certainly tell her when she is being impolite. She may not be getting this guidance at home. And if she disobeys rules at you house the consequence is that she’ll have to go home. If your daughter is hurt by her comparisons then you should tell the child that your daughter won’t be playing with her on that day.
 
@olly91 Well remember her rudeness is a reflection of the fact that she needs some direction. She needs kindy guidance, firm but gentle instruction, and direction on developing a less self centered view of the world. None of which is your problem. Tell your daughter you don't want her to play with ugly little girls and Quasimodo is BANNED.
 
@olly91 My son is only almost 2 so I dont have experience with what to do but I have experience from when I was a child and suddenly I couldnt play with certain kids anymore and I was so confused as to why. I thought it was something I did. As long as your child isnt emotionally hurt by what their friend is saying to them I would say to let them still play together. If your child says they dont want to play with them anymore then I would say that its a good idea to stop the play dates and tell their friends parents the exact reason why
 
@olly91 I think it’s OK to tell the eight-year-old that the way she talks to, and about, your household doesn’t sound very friendly. I don’t think it has to be any heavier than that.
 
@olly91 This is also a great opportunity to teach your daughter how NOT to act. I've done this with my son before when he has had friends over that were rude. When the leave I talk to him about why that behavior is not okay, at what point I would have drawn a line in the sand, but more often than not explain why I show grace towards that person because at home they might _____________.

Also keep in mind, don't say anything to your kid that you dont want repeated to the other
 
@olly91 My daughter had two bullies for friends at that age. They made fun of other girls clothes. They excluded other girls just to be mean.

I always talked to my daughter about clothes. I told her just because we like fashion doesn’t mean everyone does. Some people are content to wear the same clothes every day. You don’t judge people on this. We also invited all the girls in her class for birthdays or to come over for early release days. Her friends always excluded like one girl.

one of her friends had a mean mother the other had an oblivious mother. I just made sure I was aware and talked to her why we don’t think it’s cool to brag or be cruel to classmates.

Her teachers always told me to encourage new friends because even though she wasn’t like them, she was associated with them.
 
@olly91 You can't pick your kid's friends, you can only raise your kid on the way you feel is appropriate, and hold them to your expectations no matter who their friend is
 
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