8 months in - you walk past your husband on his phone and notice he’s looking at a positive pregnancy test in a group chat. Overall feeling is excitement, maybe you’ll be pregnant at similar times? You find it a bit insensitive that the test was sent with the intention to confuse the boys group it was a covid test, when your husband knows exactly what a positive pregnancy test looks like from your miscarriage 6 months ago. But ‘guys don’t really think like that’ you guess.
10 months in - your husband comes home and tells you he’s got some news about X and Y. You reply that it’s so exciting, but involuntarily burst into tears. He hugs you and you both reassure each other surely it’s your turn soon.
13 months in - you’re working from home in one of those zoom meetings that feel pretty pointless so you’re not really paying attention, checking reddit and instagram. You see a message pop up from one of your best friends - it’s super thoughtful and empathetic and you don’t feel your usual devastation even though you tear up a bit. You’re grateful for the kind message and being given the space to process her news.
16 months in - you’re at a wedding and two out of the three people you know well are pregnant. The third announces she’s also pregnant. You suddenly can’t hear anything and can’t breathe. You go to the bathroom and have a cry and try and pull it together. All the men are congratulating them and saying welcome to the dad club. You look at your husband and your heart breaks.
17 months in - two days after your egg retrieval. Your best friend asks if you’re up for a walk, you think you can if it’s slow as you’re still in quite a bit of pain. She starts crying and tells you she’s pregnant- this one’s a complete shock. You feel a combination of hurt that she’s your best friend and you didn’t even know trying for a baby was on her radar and a bit angry she’s told you in person and you end up having to console her guilty tears. You cry the whole way home and feel very alone.
21 months in - you’re watching a sporting match with two of your friends and you get a text notification on your smart watch. You don’t take it all in except for the words ‘I’m pregnant’ you can’t focus and you feel sick. This one wasn’t unexpected but it’s another reminder that this is so fucking easy for every single one of your friends except you. You think you’re okay as it’s nice news for them and you knew it would be coming but then you spend the whole weekend crying.
I don’t know how many more pregnancy announcements from close friends I can take. At least I’m almost out of close friends who could announce? Until they start trying for number 2 and 3.
I’m so envious of people who have such a fun, easy, exciting and inexpensive time of conceiving. What a joy that must be.
Thoughts are with anyone who’s dealing with ongoing pregnancy announcements from their group of friends and you feel like everyone’s moving forward and you’re stuck. You feel like the downer of the group everyone pities and has to tip toe around.
You feel like you’re going to be left out of the maternity leave catch ups, the baby hangs, the trips away.
You feel constant anxiety and stress at catch ups that there’ll be another announcement.
You feel like a horrible person because you can’t just be happy and excited for them at this amazing incredible time because infertility has completely broken you and changed your personality.
Its just so unfair
10 months in - your husband comes home and tells you he’s got some news about X and Y. You reply that it’s so exciting, but involuntarily burst into tears. He hugs you and you both reassure each other surely it’s your turn soon.
13 months in - you’re working from home in one of those zoom meetings that feel pretty pointless so you’re not really paying attention, checking reddit and instagram. You see a message pop up from one of your best friends - it’s super thoughtful and empathetic and you don’t feel your usual devastation even though you tear up a bit. You’re grateful for the kind message and being given the space to process her news.
16 months in - you’re at a wedding and two out of the three people you know well are pregnant. The third announces she’s also pregnant. You suddenly can’t hear anything and can’t breathe. You go to the bathroom and have a cry and try and pull it together. All the men are congratulating them and saying welcome to the dad club. You look at your husband and your heart breaks.
17 months in - two days after your egg retrieval. Your best friend asks if you’re up for a walk, you think you can if it’s slow as you’re still in quite a bit of pain. She starts crying and tells you she’s pregnant- this one’s a complete shock. You feel a combination of hurt that she’s your best friend and you didn’t even know trying for a baby was on her radar and a bit angry she’s told you in person and you end up having to console her guilty tears. You cry the whole way home and feel very alone.
21 months in - you’re watching a sporting match with two of your friends and you get a text notification on your smart watch. You don’t take it all in except for the words ‘I’m pregnant’ you can’t focus and you feel sick. This one wasn’t unexpected but it’s another reminder that this is so fucking easy for every single one of your friends except you. You think you’re okay as it’s nice news for them and you knew it would be coming but then you spend the whole weekend crying.
I don’t know how many more pregnancy announcements from close friends I can take. At least I’m almost out of close friends who could announce? Until they start trying for number 2 and 3.
I’m so envious of people who have such a fun, easy, exciting and inexpensive time of conceiving. What a joy that must be.
Thoughts are with anyone who’s dealing with ongoing pregnancy announcements from their group of friends and you feel like everyone’s moving forward and you’re stuck. You feel like the downer of the group everyone pities and has to tip toe around.
You feel like you’re going to be left out of the maternity leave catch ups, the baby hangs, the trips away.
You feel constant anxiety and stress at catch ups that there’ll be another announcement.
You feel like a horrible person because you can’t just be happy and excited for them at this amazing incredible time because infertility has completely broken you and changed your personality.
Its just so unfair