I am not a good mom today

[mariejustice54]

@dhaniel Ugh. Thank you for making me feel not alone. Motherhood can be so damn isolating

 

[dhaniel]

@mariejustice54 I know how it feels but you are not alone. It takes a village and we have also isolated ourselves from the love from others and that comes with the willingness to help each other out. We have to go back to that.

 

[hellopeople]

@mariejustice54 I know you're a good mom because you recognize when you're not at your best. Get a break... It's ok to ask for help. It does not make weak, it makes you a good mom to take care of yourself. You can do this.

 

[felipe1]

@mariejustice54 Just a quick story that might help you feel better. I had one of these days a few weeks back with our now 8 month old, and I was really down on everything I was doing. I forgot something for our drive to the library, and when my 3yo asked for it, I snapped and snippily said “ I forgot it, ok?! I’m a bad mommy!” I’m the most serious voice she just says, “no mommy, that’s ok. you’re not a bad mommy, you’re just a good mommy.” Literally cried all the way to the library.

We are honestly so hard on ourselves as mothers, when at the end of the day our children think the world of us even when we feel like we’re at rock bottom. Give yourself a break, because that baby loves you even at your worst.

 

[mariejustice54]

@felipe1 Thank you for sharing that super sweet story. Made me smile... she didnt give you any room to say otherwise when she said “... you’re just a good mommy” no ifs, ands or buts. Just a good mommy...

 

[joinfree]

@mariejustice54 It’s okay, mama. Put your baby down in a safe spot and go take a few deep breaths, if you can, call someone. I had those days, still do sometimes, and mine is 17 months old. Sometimes we feel like we made the wrong choice, like we’re not cut out for motherhood, that we’re bad moms. But you love your baby, just like I love mine. It will get better. Remember, bad moms don’t think or worry about being a bad mom.

 

[mariejustice54]

@joinfree This. Exactly. Not being cut out for motherhood... and that we did make a mistake is how I feel on bad days. You put some of my emotions into words. Ty.

 

[thekingdomage]

@mariejustice54 I constantly felt like we made a mistake having my first kid. For months I just cried and cried and missed my old, carefree yet lazy life. One day it just clicked and everything felt way easier. Then it’s like I forgot all about that and decided to have another kid. She’s 4.5 months old and I still feel like why did I do this? I love her. She’s an amazing baby. I just feel this immense guilt that my time and love are split between them now and my toddler doesn’t get what he needs anymore. I’m just waiting for the day that it clicks again and I hope it’s soon.

 

[kashiek]

@mariejustice54 I am there with you, mine is 9 months and on her fussiest days it just is so hard. Yesterday I swear she didn't go more than 30 seconds without fussing because of teething. Sometimes you do just have to put them in a safe place and walk away for a bit. It isn't going to scar them and if you can take a break and come back at least in a little better frame of mind then you both will fee better.

No parent is a bad parent for having a bad day.

 

[katrina2017]

@mariejustice54 I feel this way everyday. Not all the time but just at some point each day I feel like I just don't do enough.

7 months old, I'd guess teething and/or gas. Put baby in safe place. Go take a shower and just let it out. Ugly cry as they say. Then get dressed in new pj's and check on baby. We do bicycle legs alot to help baby toot. There is also some homeopathic teething medicine we give LO to soothe her gums. Hopefully you can both get some sleep.

Know that you are a good mom because you care about how your baby and want to be doing a good job. Some moms (and dads) only care about their own needs.

 

[mariejustice54]

@katrina2017 Thank you. As moms, we’re all in this together and we’re all so tired but we all feel alone. It’s strange. But thank you foe the advice. I feel i havent had a second to myself these past 7 months. And I’m stubborn when my husband tries to force me. I think I need to work on self care and fast.

 

[katrina2017]

@mariejustice54 Yes!!!!If my husband tells me to relax, it's like throwing gas on a fire. Steam comes out of my ears. It's hard to relax when you have a never ending job. But, the shower is my space where he knows I go if I need a break. It's like I go into another world and just shut it all out and breathe. Whatever you need to do to feel like yourself--it will recharge your soul. I also really found comfort in watching shows about new moms - Working Moms and the Letdown (on Nflix).

 

[mariejustice54]

@katrina2017 I absolutely loved the Letdown!

 

[kleinproperty]

@mariejustice54 We had this issue too. It was teething, every time and it took me all her teeth to catch on. Seriously. Our usually sweet, fun, happy kid would just be so difficult and needy and horrible company and we'd take like personal offence to it.

Next morning new tooth. Like "ohhh! Makes sense."

Every time I'd feel like crap because I'd put her to bed hurting/crying and I could have given her some baby Tylenol or something to help her feel better.

 

[penner]

@mariejustice54 It’s okay Momma- the nonstop earsplitting scream of a fussy baby drives everyone up a wall, doesn’t matter if it’s your own kid or not. I’d pick up a pair of squishy foam earplugs. You can still hear with them in, it just dampens the high pitched tone and makes it easier to work around the noise... especially if you are rocking a wailing baby on your chest and it’s screaming in your ear when your functioning off little sleep.

 

[wapitzer]

@mariejustice54 I understand, it's hard. It will get better eventually (I hope) Jk, there are good days hold on to those. I have to focus on the happy moments I get with my little one so I don't go crazy.

 

[harpazo417]

@mariejustice54 Just another person here to say I see you, I hear you, and you are not a terrible mom. It is HARD and you are surviving. some days that is as good as it gets and that is totally fine. I hope tomorrow is a better day for both of you!

 

[mariejustice54]

@harpazo417 Thanks mama. It actually is better. Her two bottom teeth have recently come in but I think her top two are trying to get out like many other more experienced mamas have mentioned, so we gave her some Tylenol and she slept well. We’re having a great morning so far. And again, reading yours and other comments are just making me feel very normal and confident again. I’m constantly tearing up.

 

[harpazo417]

@mariejustice54 Good! I’m glad to hear it. For such tiny little humans they sure can be complicated sometimes. It always helps to know you are not alone!

 

[katrina2017]

@mariejustice54 This is when you need to call on friends or family and express that you need help.